Does it get better after time?

Question

i had my baby 3 weeks ago, and since then me and my boyfriend have agrued everyday. i feel like i dont even love him anymore and we are suppose to get married in 3 weeks, but i dont feel like i want to anymore... does the argueing get better? we argue about stuff that has to do with the baby....

Answer 1

  I don't know how old you are but to be with someone that makes you you feel the way you do and have a child in the mix,you might want to  "take some time" and see if it's really worth it....the baby is an innocent in all of this.

Answer 2

A lot of couples have different ideas on how to raise a child. My husband and i agree on most of the stuff that has to do with our children right now. I dont know you or your sweetie pie or what you guys are fighting about. I do know that sometimes right after you have a baby you are more emotional and hormonal and of course lets not forget tired and stressed so maybe this is not the right time to be making life decisions. Did you guys get along well before the baby ? If you are having these feelings maybe you should talk to him and suggest that you wait just a little longer to get married.

Answer 3

Having a baby changes your life. You have to be home more. You can't do some of the things that you did before you had the baby. Babys are a lot of work. Usually you are sleep deprived as well. You have a lot of hormonal changes going on in your body right now. Its interesting that you say that you don't feel like you love your boyfriend anymore. My best friend and I were just talking the other day how after she had her son, she wasn't attracted to her husband anymore. Anyways, I really think that getting married is a huge step. After 9 mos. of being pregenant and with the birth of your baby being so recent, it may be too soon after to get married. Its too many things at once. I think you and your bf should just enjoy your baby for awhile and not jump into marriage right away. It also depends on how long before you got pregnant that you were together with your bf. I do believe that a two parent family is ideal for children if the parents have love and respect for each other. But if those things are lacking now, trust me, they will not get better when you are married. On the other hand, it would be wise of your bf and you to get premarital counseling and try to resolve some of your conflicts. Your baby is worth trying your absolute best to make it work with your man. These feelings of not being in love are normal. In any relationship, you are not always going to FEEL in love. Sometimes just staying committed to each other will see you through for awhile then eventually you may find that spark again. Most important, now that you have a child, you must always put that child first. Babys can sense when there is tension. Try to create the most loving and peaceful enviorment that you can. Realistically, we can't always manage to do this, but at least try.  

Answer 4

Find the local Jehovah's Witnesses and ask them to study with you and your finance. It's free. They always help young people who are going through a problem such as yourself. I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I've seen from experience that people's lives become great. They're happy and if they leave they always come back. I don't want to you to feel like I'm throwing this in your face because you're asking people to help you solve a problem that God would never want you to endure. You want your baby to grow up with a father and a mother together and that's what Jehovah's Witnesses emphasize. I'm just offering my help to you.=]

Take care,

John P.

Answer 5

Having a baby is a big change. It causes a lot of stress & little sleep. Not to mention you are planning a wedding. You are probably hormonal still. It will all be okay. You and your family will be okay. You guys are still getting the swing of things : )

Answer 6

Having a baby is a big change. Hang in there. The arguing gets better. Being a new parent is hard and demanding. It is best when you work together. The baby needs both of you. And you both need each other. Hang in there. Congrats on your new baby and good luck with your wedding. Just take it one day at a time.

Answer 7

if you feel you don't even love him anymore don't marry him.  make sure you really don't love him.  the way the arguing goes depends on you guys.  

Answer 8

Oh yea it's gonna get better before it gets worse.  Relax this is normal this is the same situation with me and my husband.  

Jus think about it ya'll aren't getting no sleep then theres stress from the new baby and still tyna live life,hormones.  So jus give it sum time and things will get back 2 normal.

Answer 9

don't listen to all of those jerks. the first poster is right. Things will probably get better. Your hormones are still raging and you both are tired and are trying to get use to a new baby.

One thing my husband and I learned, was to admit your are wrong and say sorry. If you start a fight, stop the fight. Take a breather and think why you are mad at your soon to be spouse. Then when you do figure it out then tell him. If he hurt your feeling somehow then tell him. I am sure he has never meant to hurt you or upset you. If you're tired and you don't know why you are angry with him, then tell him that. Say " I am sorry, I am very tired, overwhelmed, and I just don't know what to do. I am sorry" That will usually diffuse the situation very quickly. It is okay to admit that stuff. It's better that you do then just letting it build up. Eventually things will smooth out and you guys will be able to be very truthful with your feelings. He can't know how you feel and help you if you don't tell him. And the same goes for him. You don't know until he tells you. Just tell him you are upset with him for not helping you calm the baby down, when you are already tired. Men don't think about those things, especially new dads. My husband and I fought like crazy over stupid things like that. if I had just asked him to hold the baby because I was tired then there would have been no fight. Instead I thought I had to tough it out. No, he's the daddy, let him b e the daddy and do some of the work also.

Good luck and I hope things work out for you.

Answer 10

Yes it will get better. Having a new baby is stressful and tiring. Its a big change in your lives. You're sleep deprived and right now your hormones are still going up and down from the birth. It will get better. It did for us.

*hugs*

Answer 11

perhaps you should have worked all that out before deciding to have children with him. also, being married would have helped too.

I suspect that marriage will solve none of your problems and, to be honest, I dont envy your situation at all.

I think that if the two of you stand any chance, you're going to need to go out and talk to someone like a counsellor

Answer 12

That's why you should have gotten married before you stared popping out kids.  No, it won't get better.  Good Luck.

Answer 13

NO you need to get out of that relationship soon, yall were not ready for the baby and it is showing up , it is just going to get worse

Answer 14

It'll get better, you're only 3 weeks post-partum, your hormones aren't even back to normal yet. You probably feel like you haven't even been able to catch up on sleep since you've had the baby!

It's hard bringing a new baby into the household.

My husband and I were only married 3 months when I fell pregnant .. we were Newlyweds, adjusting to living together, and then dealing with that with all my hormones ..

Our son was born 3 days before our 1 yr. wedding anniversary; we actually brought him home from the hospital ON our 1 yr. wedding anniversary. Everything was so chaotic (adjusting to the sleep deprivation, hormones, a new baby, etc) we didn't even realize it WAS our anniversary until 11:30 that night.

Anyway, to make a long story short, YES, it will get better. Having a baby is HUGE. It's a life changing experience ..

You have your way of doing things, and your boyfriend has HIS way of doing things, you have to come together and agree on what is best for YOUR baby, that you share. It's hard .. I think it's hard on everyone .. I don't think it's possible to bring a baby into a relationship (with hormones, sleep deprevation, etc.) and everything work out perfectly (instantly!) like it does in the movies .. that just isn't reality.

You DO love your boyfriend, you've just got a lot going on, you have another person to focus on right now; someone (the baby) who is DEMANDING your time so you're taking time away from your boyfriend .. it's normal.

Just give it a little more time, you'll start to feel better.

Congrats! on the baby! and the upcoming wedding ..

take care,

God bless!