Does it sound like hes ready for kids?

Question

My bf said he wants us to have kids. BUT, he said he was worried about the cost of daycare. So i kinda told him it wont be a big deal BUT then i thought of it and concluded that if he really was ready this wont be an issue. I want kids wih a man whos financillay stable and can handle whatever. So i told him we should Not have kids yet, but he kept insisting his only worry was about daycare,"and since i told him i had a solution to it" that it would be a good idea to have kids. IS he really ready or Not?

Answer 1

Kids are not expensive, they don't care what they wear,you can buy toys from car boots or charity shops, all they need is love, attention,food and warmth, also no one is really ready for kids as it is a new and confusing situation, just do it and enjoy the ride! if you have'nt got kids you don't know what you're missing.

Answer 2

first off dont listen to everyone tell you that you have to get married first, as long as the baby has two loving parents thats what matters most and its better than having two parents who are married but hate eachother...and i wouldnt say he isnt ready just because he is concerned about daycare, that just means he is thinking about it and trying to make sure he will be able to support a child by all means necessary. and you didnt say you exactly had a solution to the problem, you just said it wouldnt be a big deal but actually it can be so maybe you should hear out his concerns and look into who is going to watch your baby and how much is it going to cost? can you afford it with all the other things you will have to now be paying for? he isnt the only one who needs to be financially stable...especially if you guys arent married, then what happens when you brake up? will you be able to handle the baby on your own until a steady amount of child support is coming in?

Answer 3

I would say he is ready but like you is trying to make sure he is financially able to look after a child. He seems to be really mature about it, not wanting to bring a child into a family that cant afford things such as daycare.

What i would do is make sure you are both saving money and constantly talking about options, having a child is not something to be rushed into.

However you both seem very level headed and are looking at your options well. So all i recomend is to talk about it together again and look at what you can afford financially.

Answer 4

If you are engaged - why not wait until after you are married?  If you are planning to get married, there shouldn't be a sudden rush to have a baby.

If he's worried about the cost of daycare, there are going to be a lot of other issues ahead.  Diapers, formula, food, doctors........etc.

Answer 5

I think that it would be a great idea for the both of you to sit down together, look at your finances, and figure out exactly how much child rearing costs.

Baby food isn't much at walmart, but it's a third mouth to feed. You have to think about years down the road, not just months. Yes, you can buy diapers and bottles, but are you ready to save thousands for a college education?

Answer 6

it sounds like he is responsible enough to look into what it takes to raise children

i would think that you would want to have children with someone responsible

sounds like you planning on having children before getting married which is not very responsible

Answer 7

If you two are questioning his liability on this matter, then that means there are certainly still some doubts lingering about. Meaning that you two are still not ONE HUNDRED percent ready yet... and in my opinion, when it comes to an issue as big as this... having kids, you should wait until you are completely certain that you'll be able to support this kid and give your baby the best life possible so that there will be no regrets or mishaps. Besides... a little waiting won't hurt. I say to get the financial stability that you need first before you end up in loads and loads of debt lol.

Answer 8

hes probably just worried about the babys well being. if hes only your boyfriend how do you know he wont leave you after you have the baby? although that could happen even if youre married.

Answer 9

It sounds like he is emotionally ready but not physicaly. Your right, if you dont think you can afford daycare then you probly cant afford the diapers, food, bedding, clothes, and so on so forth for a little one. You need to sit down with him and have serious talk about it because you should know for sure when your ready, both of you should. Its a lot of hard work to have a baby, trust me i am a 20 year old mother of a 1 year old and its not easy.

Answer 10

I would talk it through some more and be clear that you want to know his honest opinion and feelings and not just what he thinks you want to hear.  Daycare is a big deal, though.  It is a huge monthly expense.  I am looking at $180/week for my infant daughter.

Answer 11

First of all, if you're not married, neither of you are ready for kids.  But, if you and he think daycare is expensive, how do you think you're going to pay for medical and hospital care for before birth and when baby is born.  Then the baby will have medical bills, clothing bills, diaper bills, formula bills and it never stops.  As they get older, the clothes and shoes get more expensive and they eat more.  Then there's college to think about.  Grow up yourself first and when you're married and financially stable, then think about having a baby.  Don't just get pregnant because you think a baby would be fun.  They are fun sometimes but they are also a LOT of work and worry.

Answer 12

If everybody waited until they were financially ready for kids we would have A LOT less kids running around!!!!!

Answer 13

who cares about the cost of daycare. raise money and send them or get a babysitter. its better to have a kid and enjoy life with it then to worry about stupid things like daycare. just get a babysitter.

Answer 14

I think you should both wait and then get married, have time together just the tow of you and THEN have one. You want to be comfortable financially, but even if you wait to save it will never happen. It just works. I think you should just be stable though...

Answer 15

So you just casually decided that the cost of day care "won't be a big deal"????  Have you decided whether you'd prefer in-home day care or on-site day care at a center and researched the costs of each in your area?  Have you figured out whether you make enough money to cover these costs?  If not, it may make more sense for one of you to quit working than to work only to pay day care costs -- have you discussed whether this is an option for you?  Have you worked out a budget plan that shows how you're going to support yourselves and a new baby?  

Why don't you wait until you're married, have discussed all these issues (and more) and have a concrete plan for how you're going to afford to have a child???