Does marrige have an effect on the relationship and love between a man and a woman ?

Question

It is a personal observation at times that men and women are intensely committed and in love with each other prior to marrige yet after marrige they start seeing each other in set roles.

I'am not married yet i have seen many couples carrying on as if they were playing a role assigned to them.

How true is this?

Answer 1

I think that marriage has a way of making people in committed relationships "Wake up" and re-evaluate the person they've said "I do" too. Marriage will make you see your man/woman in a different light, because now you’re committed to spending the rest of your like with this person, vs. the end of the year.  Marriage cancels that option to leave the relationship if things don't go as planned. When you're not married, you’re not committed to anyone; and can come and go as you please. People who’re in serious relationships are in love with the idea of being in love, but you haven't made it official yet. So for some men (and some women) it leaves them open to any bigger and better "opportunities" that may come their way.

Now, when you make it official before god and the law, you have to take the relationship a lot more serious. Because it's not as easy to just pack your things and go. Now you have to take the vow's you pledged before god to the courts and have it officially, and legal declared over. Because you can't just divorce someone in a text msg like you can breakup with them in a relationship. This in my opinion causes a lot of complications between men and women. Marriage can make one or the other feel as though they're trapped. Which leads to resistance, rebellion, and soon separation. But I'm only speaking on what I've seen with other folks. I'm not married myself. I'm in a committed relationship, but I'm not married. And too tell you the truth I’m glad. He doesn’t pressure me, and I don’t pressure him about taking it to the next level. If it happens it happens; if not, it wasn’t meant to be. I found him, I’ll find someone else. And I know for a fact that he feels the same.

Answer 2

No, not a role assigned to them, but a delegation of task. The mate that can perform a task better and perhaps enjoys doing it should do the task. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses but a marriage should take both into consideration.

Answer 3

Marriage shouldn't effect the relationship, it's a common misconception that once you get married you become a 'married couple' who are boring, can't go to nightclubs etc.

It all depend how you see marriage, if it's just a peice of paper then it isn't neccesary. However many people do it for personal or religious reasons. To me it was a wonderful ritual, the biggest declaration of love we could make. We also joined names.

Marriage isnt' just the piece of paper. It's the public declaring of your vows, joining names, celebrating with your family - the union of two families.

EDIT: I think having kids would be a major impact on the relationship, which is why I'm leaving that to someone else!

Answer 4

My view is that this is true. The problem is that love and sexuality both play a part in marriage. When one meets that special person, sexual attraction and tension is involved in the mutual attraction. In the months and years after the wedding, love usually grows stronger, not least because of the familiarity and trust involved. However, regrettably, the same familiarity also removes the sexual tension and "mystery." That is, one begins to love one's partner in a way similar to the love of parent, sibling or child. Hence, married partners have to proactively work at being romantic and sexually attractive - and also at seeing one's partner in the best possible light. For example, if your wife has some "orange peel" on her leg, don't look at it. Instead look at her beautiful smile when she's naked and look at her body and legs when she is dressed in a flattering ourfit.

Answer 5

personally when we lived together we still made the effort, buying gifts, going out suprise meals once we go married i stayed at home with the children he went out all the time,

Answer 6

true but not universal, your smart enought to name it and keep away from that c**p

Answer 7

Marriage is commitment and obligation,Romance, lovingmaking , caring ,is part of the agenda.

Answer 8

study was just done on this... cohabitating males do more house work than married males. seems when we get married, no matter how free-thinking we are, we tend to fall into these roles.

Answer 9

After marriage they see each other as "hooked & landed" so why try using the lures. As a result she stops the s*x, he stops the caring,listening , loving c**p, they both get PO'd and the divorce lawyers make a killing. simple as that. NEXT!!!