Does my 4 yr old girl need to see a psychologist because of her temper tantrums?

Question

my daughter is 4 going on 5. she is something special. let me tell you a bit about her. she easily gets mad when things do not go her way. when she is in a temper tantrum stage she literally pulls her hair from her scalp to the point where you can hear the hair ripping. she makes herself vomit from all that anger, she curls her feet and hands (she scares me when she does this she looks like the excercist) she pinches herself , so not only is she doing physically harm to her self but to others as well. she hits people for unknown reasons. i dont know what to do no more. she screams like someone cut her finger off. please desperately asking for any advise and please no dumb comments this is a serious matter.

Answer 1

This sounds more extreme than normal tantrums to me. I would start with your pediatrician. Talk to him and see what he thinks. Since your daughter is actually hurting herself, I would say it is vital that you seek professional help. Your pediatrician will know what to do from there. Good luck!!

Answer 2

LET HER DO IT.  ITS A STAGE AND JUST IGNORE HER SHE'LL  GET THE IDEA U DONT CARE AND IT WILL CHANGE MY SON DID THAT

Answer 3

Seriously sound to me like your child is trying to reach out to you for some positive attention, but using negitive behavior. You have to think to yourself what dose my child do before this behavior starts? Do you always give your child negitive attention? Are you giving in to your child because she acts out? The problem can be the both of your personalities clashing or the lack of positive parenting skills. Your child dosen't need a shrink just a parent that understands and can communicate to your child before this child really hurts herself or others. Keeping your child preoccupied with positive things and tring to do things with your child before the negitive behavior starts; even if the child is only 1 yrs old ie: painting, chalk, coloring, games, cooking, playdough, reading the child a book or dancing to music. This will tell the child that you love her and care about her. When your child is having negitive behavior tell your child with a firm voice that it is NOT OK to hurt yourself and she must get into control of her body right now! You must teach your child to self regulate her body and get into control of her temper or it can turn into other problems. SOmetimes adults ahve problems getting there bodies into control and children see this and then act it out. So you have to closely examine your child and the way you've been parenting your child and if your not willing to change then the child will not change either. I have delt with children with severe bahavior problems and children can change with time and so can the parents. If you have patience and understanding of what it is that frustrates the child. Good luck with this problem.

Answer 4

there really isnt much to tell just from what you have and i have to say that i strongly disagree with others who say she is doing it for attention and for those who say she may be autistic. honestly people.

first of all, you may need to get a bigger picture here of your daughter. she needs to be develpmentally evaluated to see if she is behind anywhere that may contribute to the anger. if in fact that she is everywhere she needs to be then you need to assess her behavior when exposed to certain foods and hours of sleep and so on. when this has happened then you have done what you can and i would ask for some outside assistance with your daughter.

there are so many things that could be going on that its just realistic or fair for a stranger to come in and label her.

some of the things that could help you is a journal for  a solid week of her activities and diet. maybe videotape her during one of her meltdowns for further use if need be.

i would certainly talk to her pediatrician and push for something because im sure they hear tantrum stories all the time so you have to make sure you have your facts in order to be taken seriosly.

and really good luck to you!!!

Answer 5

If she is harming herself and others, it may be time to seek some type of professional assistance. Good Luck!

Answer 6

For your own sanity see a professional.  They may tell you it's just a phase but they will also give you coping mechanisms.

I know she looks like she is really hurting herself but she will also stop if the pain gets too much.  The best thing is for you to get help with it before you feel like you really can't cope.

If it is something more serious they will help you to understand why and how to solve it.

It's better you see someone and have them tell you it's nothing than have it turn out to be a reaction to something you weren't even aware of and didn't get help when you could.

Answer 7

wow... I would deffinently seek help before she really hurts herself.

Answer 8

honestly.... if she were older i would say yes.... but do you think she is doing it to get attention? I have a 3 year old boy, and I know he does most of these things also, minus the hair pulling and vomiting.  But he has his moments where i'm like where did this kid come from!? if he is doing it because i told him no, i count him (1,2,3 timeout) this has worked great for the most part, along with rewarding him with stickers for good behavior and being kind to his brother and cousin. he LOVES getting the stickers, and when he is really bad I remove a sticker and he doesn't like to see that at all!! I made house rules for my boys so we all understand what is expected (I have an 8 & 3 year old I use this with both, but they earn stickers for different things)

when she is throwing a tantrum, I would either walk away, put her in time out (if she gets up put her back and do this until she stays put) either that or you can put her somewhere safe for her to throw her fit, she may be doing this to try and get something she wants, or for attention. I know those are the 2 reasons my son behaves this way.....

  You just need to be consistent with discipline and let her know that behavior is unacceptable!! It takes a lot of time and patience but it works, I also have read this book called 1-2-3 Magic (effective discipline for ages 2-12) I read it, and incorporated it to fit my life style and along with the sticker chart, I have noticed a huge turn around with my 2 boys, they test me... but they don't win! good luck!!

Answer 9

Take her to a doctor ASAP so they can test her. She has something wrong. That is not normal behavior for a 4 year old.

Answer 10

To me this is a possible medical condition.The doctor might find something in blood tests and prescribe a calming drug.

If nothing is wrong medically, he will send you both to a child physchologist to help out.

A child who virtually rips her hair out,is going through some problem.Seek proffessional advice

Answer 11

Hey Nancy

I am sorry to read that your daughter is having such a hard time, but please when I tell you this don't be mad or sad it is just one of those things that happens.  You have many okay answer and they all seem very sincere except they haven't really gone through what you are and what I have, so here it is,

You daughter may be autistic.  Autism is a serious yet treatable problem, the sooner you get her help the sooner the treatments will start.  Don't say she can't be, because then you will just be in denial, most parents don't want to believe that this can happen to them and their children, but it does.

Here are sine sites about it Autism, read them for your self and you decide it this is your daughter or not.

In any case take her do the Dr. and have her tested, again I am sorry for telling you what I think it is I don't like being the guy with the junk opinion, but if it can help to point you in the right direction then I will continue to give my knowledge and experienced answers in hope that it will help someone out there.

Good luck and take care

Symptoms during childhood

Symptoms of autism are usually noticed first by parents and other caregivers sometime during the child's first 3 years. Although autism is present at birth (congenital), signs of the disorder can be difficult to identify or diagnose during infancy.

Answer 12

I think she has found the 'buttons' that work on you - as extreme as the are - and uses  them to get her way. The hurting herself probably gets attention from you. Kids start throwing tantrums at 2 or so - and if you don't stop it then it gets worse and worse - and their behavior has to get more extreme to get a reaction from you. They start testing you, and see what works - then when it stops working, they step it up to get a reaction.... your little one is going to scarey extremes - and you have to stop it before she really hurts herself.

My 2 yr old girl started hitting her head/ears, I brought her to doctor - He said she was just trying to get attention, and unless she was actually hurting herself it was just manipulation to get her way.

Of course, your girl is hurting herself - but she's a lot older. I'd definatly look at disapline as the first issue - rather than mental issues -- disapline is an easy fix in comparison to somethng truly being wrong.

You may want to consult a professional - not nessesarly for 'her' but for you, her, and her father or other caregivers in the house. A pro could help you develop a disapline plan to get her back under control. Plus they could ease you mind as to what is really going on - and if something is 'wrong' they can start the process of figuring it out. (some kids act out because of food allergies, you change their diet and they are 'normal' - but you will need some guidance to help isolate the issue)

Best of luck to both of you -- hang in there, and be strong for your daughter!!