Does my baby dislike me?

Question

I feel like I'm an inadequate mother, as my two month old does not smile at me, but seems so happy to be around his grandparents. Whenever I talk to him, try to play with him he doesn't even look at me or react at all. But all my Father-law has to do is look at him and say one word and my son smiles! He stares into his eyes, whereas he never makes eye contact with me. Today he had his first, true smile. No matter what I do, he won't even acknowledge he even knows I'm there. It makes me feel like I am not a good mother. my father-in-law was doing the same things i do to interact with him and he got the biggest smile because of it! i cannot be excited about my son's first smile because as precious as it was, it was not for me, and that may sound selfish but it is the truth. it hurts that he gazes into his grandparents eyes for long periods of time but wont even glance at me.

Answer 1

wow that's depressing.

maybe take a day break from him, let him stay with his grandparents for a while, then pick him up and he will miss you.

you guys just need a little vacation from eachother.

he's sick of you haha but he'll miss you and treat you like how he treats ur parents

Answer 2

I.m sorry to say this but you actually sound depressed. Are you sure you don't have PPD; these thought are not right for a mother who has just had a baby; consider speaking to your Doc.

Answer 3

it might just be a phase...

Answer 4

Your stupid if you think your baby doesnt like you.

Of course it does.

Its a baby it doesnt know how like feelings work

Answer 5

Stay alone with him for like a whole week.  he'll get used 2 u eventually.  he loves u, he just finds ur parents more interesting.. or maybe more funny looking.

Answer 6

first of all im sorry that you feel bad about this issue. but maybe you should consider giving your son a break from his grandparents, i mean if your sons constantly around the grandparents, hes gonna rely on them for everything instead of you, the parent. I know from experience because my cousins mom is constanly around her granddaughter and when something goes wrong, the baby will always rely on the grandmother, and my cousin who is the mother feels the same way as you do. So she told her mother that she needed some space and some time to spend with her own child. Give it a try. Best of luck!

-Vanessa, age 15 :p      i had to put my age!  :)

Answer 7

Grandparents usually spoil their gchildren.

Though theyre young, theyll remember.

So just the sight of them will bring a smile to your sons face.

Try and spend some alone time with him just playing

Answer 8

I don't think it has anything to do with you, the baby doesn't dislike you or something, it's just a baby, they don't have common sense yet, they just want to eat and drink and sleep all day. Don't mind it, I'll bet this will change before you know it.

Answer 9

don't read to much into it. yeah we love our children and we wish they love us as much as we love them. unfortunately, this does happen. my 6 month old loves me, but i feel like she loves her grandma more. whenever my mom comes into a room, she will get so excited and whenver she leaves she cries so much. but if i leave a room she never cries. the thing is my mom and her are both light-skinned and i am dark skinned. i am with her 24/7 and my mom is only with her 20 minutes a day, if that. our children know who their moms are and love us unconditionally, it could be skin complextion, voice tone or other little things that make them respond  to others. No matter how great of a parent we are, it happens. just dont make it about you. you are not doing anything wrong, so just continue loving him, he is still young and its great that he has a bond with his grandparents. best wishes!!!

Answer 10

It happened to me with mine. They grow out of it. 0-3 month old babies should come with a warning label. The smiles and giggles that make being a parent of a baby fun don't come till sometime after 3 months. Really, don't look for much communication before 4 months. That's when they get cute and fun. Just hang in there. You will be overcome with joy at how much fun the baby is...in time.

Answer 11

Calm down sweetie. He will come around after all he is only two months old and just learning how to look around and see all the amazing things around him, including his mom!! Just be happy that you were there to see his 1st smile as some people don't even get that luxury. No matter what YOU are his mom. He relies on you & loves you, nothing or no one can change that. Of course everyone likes to be selfish with their child. There could just be something about his grandparents, like that they're old and he's not used to older people. Keep in mind there are MANY more smiles to come & it's good that he likes his grandparents. Before you know it he'll be staring at you smiling & soon laughing. You are the reason he is here right now, you sound like a good mom you're doing everything right, trust me you have nothing to worry about honey. The fact that you are worried about it shows how much you care. He's still really young & learning how to do everything. Just give him time. Best wishes to both of you.  

Answer 12

aww. this does not mean your a bad mother at all.

the reason baby is seemingly so happy for grandpaa is because of his voice, babies love different voices, tones, music, sounds etc.

one thing every baby knows is family is fun mommy is for buisness. just give him time and dont get depressed about it he knows who mommy is and thats what matters. to play with him at two months old you can do different sounds and voices lay on the floor with him and just talk talk talk. I was a nanny for a couple their baby boy was two months old when I started and they had the same issue. but he came around when he was about three months old he smiled at anyone who would smile at him. just give it time.

Answer 13

Try to bond with your baby. Gently play with him until he reacts. Also, note the behavior you display around him though it may not be towards him. Are you always stressed out. Do you yell or fight at your significant other a lot around the baby. Let him see you as a generally happy person. Also, don't base your relationship with him off of how you think he is reacting to you. Show him unconditional love. Also consider one of those mother-baby classes-though you may have to wait until he is older. Who your baby smiles at is not a competition. I can imagine that it hurts your feelings but consider it is an opportunity to build your relationship with him.

Answer 14

Don't have him around his grandparents so much

Answer 15

Aww sweetie. Your child doesn't understand yet. He doesn't know what he is doing. I bet you are a wonderful mother. My daughter acknowledge men before me also. It's their voice. He doesn't know who they are. The mens voice is deep and they like it better than the high pitch in womens voices

Answer 16

Don't worry Hes still young he can't see properly erm do your relatives wear bright clothing  that might be the cause anything different catches their attention and hes just 2 months old give him sometime when he can talk.  

Answer 17

dont worry he is only a baby

Answer 18

Babies can sense your feeling. Your son is probably feeling that there isn't something right, and who would want to smile about that!? Calm down and relax sweetheart! Maybe your son likes men (Not in that way, you know what I mean) Most baby boys adapt more to men because of the deep voice. Just spend more time alone with your baby, just the two of you, and leave the grandparents alone for a while so he can get used to you. Just relax! Everything will be fine, I promise.

Good luck! And remember, if you relax, then your baby will sense of feeling of ease, and have more to smile about. Don't force yourself on him, with playing around..when he knows there's something wrong.

Good luck!

Answer 19

I'm sure that you aren't doing anything that you shouldn't be, and no, your baby doesn't dislike you.  He's trying to figure you out!

Is he your first baby?  

I think what is going on, is that he is picking up on something in you, that you don't even realize you are putting out there.  Are you nervous around him - do you fear that you will drop him, feed him improperly, not feed him enough or on time, are you fussing over little details and stressing yourself out?  His ability to communicate is limited, so he goes with emotional cues, facial expressions, tones of voice.  He could be reading you as being stressed out and tired, and as a result he's closing himself off from you, as much for his protection as yours.

Obviously he's physically well and happy.  His needs are being met.  So, no, you are NOT a bad mommy.  You need to analyze your time with him, and see if you are maybe sending him caution signals.