Does my husband still want me?

Question

Okay, this kinda of embarrassing but ever since I had my baby my husband and I don't really have s*x anymore. After I had my baby girl the doc said no s*x for 6 wks and I remember my husband was counting the days. After the 6 weeks we had really crazy, good, long s*x. Shortly after that it just ended. I asked him what was wrong and he keeps telling me that he is tired. He does work long hours and he wakes up 5am to watch the stock market. I understand how tired he is cuz im with the baby all day, but I still get in the mood. Oh yeah his mom was staying with us for 2 mons to help with the baby and we really couldn’t do anything because its small 2 bed townhome, so I thought as soon as she left he would be all over me but it didn't happen. I really hate starting things and I wish he would come to me for a change because I don’t feel attractive anymore. Is he just getting old or does he just not want me anymore?

Answer 1

Hmmm... Something is bothering him but it's hard to pinpoint. You need to talk to him and let him know that it's becoming an issue with you. Try to approach it in a positive way. Don't attack him but let him know that you miss him and need him too. Babies change a lot of things for both parents.

Could he be afraid that you will get pregnant again? Just a thought...

Answer 2

I am going through the same thing. If you need to talk email me. I really can't understand it and would love someone to talk to who is having the same problem as i. :(

Answer 3

What kind of marriage do you have where you can not show affection toward your wife or husband because your in-law is living in the house.  YOU ARE A MARRIED COUPLE!!!!!!  s*x should be a normal thing in the house, in-law or not..

Go out and buy a s**y piece of lingerie, seduce your man, do a strip dance for him...do something to put the fire back...  

Answer 4

This is sort of the type of question that in most cases one would on some level not really want to know the answer to the same.  That being said, this is what I think:  Your hubby is perhaps subconsciously but nevertheless in reality now likely associating sexual relations with making babies; and he is unlikely to get beyond this without at least one session with a psychotherapist.  There are all kinds of sexual enhancement products available to males these days; and ordinarily I would say to look into those (Enzyte and such are effective for some).

The other thing to consider is this:  Sometimes sexual desire and/ sexual energy will  decrease for males, especiall during periods of stress, pressure, anxiety, financial or other worry, or even something unexpected like a mid-life crisis or an unforeseen loss.

Sadly, I have to admit that there is also here the very real possibility of your hubby having an affair or of him doing a bit more than usual for his "solo routine".

I empathize with your disappointment, I hope your situation takes a turn for the better in the future; and congrats on the baby.

Answer 5

Kick mom out, it's cramping his style...  

And...

Tomorrow morning as he watches the market...  Don't ask, just do...  Give him an oral good time while he watches the market...  He'll forget CNBC pretty quickly....

Answer 6

Hard to say without knowing him. Could be that the added emotional and financial stressors of the baby are getting to him.  Does he respond positively when you initiate or does he shrug you off all the time?

He could be a bit depressed as well, again due to stress about the new family.  Let him know that you are available to talk if he needs to unload and you know its stressful for everyone in a new situation like you guys have.  Tell him your fears about drifting apart.  Then let him alone for a bit and see if he comes out of it after some time.  

If he seems indifferent about your relationship you might want to explore counseling for you both at some point.

Answer 7

you have both gone through a huge change to your lives (bringing a baby into the world) - the world moves on even when you have interuptions such as baby sleep patterns, your mom etc

talk about it but dont pressure the situation - it'll all settle down, but give it time