Does my past have to do with people seeing a weakness in me now? Read details...?

Question

When I was a child, I suffered verbal and physical abuse from my father. It broke my spirit and I didn't grow up to be a confident adult. As a 22-year-old, I experience negative comments from people around me constantly (on a daily basis), "she's ugly", "she's stupid", etc. They think I can't hear them but I can. It reminds me of how I felt when my dad said mean things to me as a child. Well, do you think the abuse from my childhood has something to do with why people see me as a weak person or a easy person to targeted? Any Advice? Thanks in advance !!! (I know asked the question the other day but I would like more answers)

Answer 1

OMG! i feel so sry for you. Sry to say but ppl do find those kinds of ppl as an easy target. U have to let em know you cant be talked about like that and that your past was your past and your moving on. you have to build your confidence and step up. Build you spirit and try to b the best u can b (live life 2 the fullest! I know im getting a lil cheesy but i really hoped i helped.!

Peace out !

Answer 2

The first years in our lives we gain the image of the world that we keep. You have to be a magician to repaint it. But 1, you have to stop concentrating on it - your thoughts give the energy to these things to happen and the world is mirroring your worries and keeps you in frame. Instead 2, try to notice any positive opinion that others should have about you and double it passing on loudly - praise yourself even if they don't - they will use to 3, use the protective mask - act as a self confident and soon you will be 4, delete the importance of this issue - the more important for you it will be not to be their target the more possible you will be. Change your idea of world - it is mirroring the fake image of you. Forgive your father - I know, this is the least possible, so find some reason why he was like that - maybe the same kind of parenting.

Answer 3

Are you ugly?  Are you stupid?  If you're not, than these comments should not mean anything to you.  I don't take offense to anything people say to me because I think that I am very smart and very attractive....both are true...but you should think the same way.  Because 1 person thinks you are not attractive, that doesn't mean that their opinion is true.  Because 1 person thinks that your are not smart, that doesn't mean that their opinion of you is true.  And, even if it is, they must not be too kind to be making fun of you like that.  Kindness is a very underrated trait.  And, it, just like IQ and looks, can take you a long way  in life.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

well as a child my dad use to abuse me too like when he use to hit me or slap me for no reason ect. and when i got older you come across people who dont like you and your afraid to tell them something back because thats when a fight starts and that first l**k they throw at you will probably bring back a flash back of when your dad hit you and its gonna hurt and thats why your afraid to to talk back to people but let me tell you something people find you weak because you dont tell them anything but you have to stand up for yourself or they are going to keep on throwing you down.and some kids when theyre mother or father use to abuse tham they grew up always wanting to fight someone i can tell your a quiet and reserved person thats good but you have to stand up for your self no matter what people say or do to you and just because your dad abused you in the past rember he lived his life now you have to live yours and dont let his mistakes effect your life you have to pray for people like him because trust me he is gonna get his and guess what 10 times worst and i hope you take my advice into consideration.

Answer 5

If we grow up in circumstances where we are made fearful it may well affect how we respond to cruelty in later life.  You need to take this one step at a time.  Start small and say what you think in an area where you'd usually agree to keep the peace.  When you've done it once, try it again.  As your confidence builds you'll be better able to handle situations.  Are there any classes - like assertion - you could go to?  If you hear people talking about you let them know you've heard - even if you only say 'I heard that, and it's disrespectful'.  Practice in front of the mirror if it's too difficult yet.  I'll bet any money you're neither ugly nor stupid.  What you are is sensitve.

Answer 6

Regardless of what others say/think at some point, whether it be truth or lie, youve got to focus on yourself and your Goals & not let the little things weigh you down on your journey to where you want to go in this life.

-Brian