Does my sister have a problem? IS THIS NORMAL O_O ?

Question

Okay my sister is 21 years old this June. She doesnt have a job and she still lives with my parents. All she does all day long is play video games and talk to this little 14 year old girl who she supposoly calls her best friend. She has a boyfriend of 4 years and they see each other alot, usually he comes here. When i say video games i mean computer games. So all day long shes on the computer. She barely talks to anyone around the house and her only friends are on the computer. Now the most im worried about is the little girl.. i feel like that girl is holding her back on stuff.All she cares about is herr on the comp.Mabye im Jealous? Im her little sister 14 going on 15 in december but the point is i just feel like she should be hanging out with people her own age.I've tried talking to her and telling her she needs to be independant but its going through one ear and out the other.She's old enough to have her own apartment and job and be on her own. Am i wrong to tell her these things or to be worried for her? I just want her to live her own life =[

Answer 1

Your parents need to do something to force her into some kind of independence. If she were my child I would probably be getting her into counseling. She shouldn't be taking to a young teen on the internet all the time and she should have a job.

Do your parents ever say anything or just buy her clothes and give her spending money? I could understand if she was between jobs and wanted a short break before looking for another one or on break from college but if she is just letting them support her so she can hide away at home, she needs help. Something is wrong. She should be eager to be out on her own and your parents aren't helping by making her so comfortable.

One bright side. If they continue to let her just sit and stagnate you know from seeing her get away with so much that you should be able to work and stay at home and save your money toward a house and have a decent car when you are her age.

Answer 2

She is in a regressed state and is addicted to these games. This has the potential of going on for years and years.

Your sister needs an intervention.

Unfortunately, your parents are the only ones who can do this... they need to take some steps to get your sister to launch out of there.

Have a talk with your parents about your sister. Ask them if they want to be supporting your sister for decades while she sits chatting with teenagers and playing geekoid computer games. And do they want to be rearing her babies for her when her BF finally puts it in there one time to many?

What my own sister did to get her adult children to launch was she put a lock-box on the thermostat set to the cheap side of uncomfortable, quit buying groceries (other than peanut butter and bread), and cut off both the internet and cable TV. It worked. Two months, max.

Answer 3

the bottom line is that your parents are allowing it.

not much you can do about it.

Answer 4

STEAL HER FRIEND!GET HER AWAY FROM HER FIND UR SISTER A JOB AT MCDONALDS!!!PLANN QUICKKKKKKK!

Answer 5

It my be good to ask someone older like your parents. To check out the stuff she does on the internet most people online are not your friend and won't to do so really bad stuff it you especially if you are a girl no mater how old. Very odd in my book. I guess it the college do was everyone "cool" ( or lake there of). I'm 15 the only girl (youngest) I have three brothers. Their not weird. Your sister needs a life. Off the computer, and get out more. Good Grieve.  

Answer 6

I think your the older one actually, you sound very mature. You are right I think that your sis needs to associate with people her own age because that younger girl is setting her back. Your sis should get a move on and understand the more she waits to get her future started, the harder it will be to put it back on track. Do you think you can talk to her bf and see if he can persuade her to slowly back away from the computer a little everyday, maybe walk somewhere? Find a job that is interesting that she will grow from? Maybe she can even cut down the time talking to her buddy once a week instead of everyday. Good luck to u and her.

Answer 7

Umm.....maybe it's just me, but that is REALLY creepy that a 21 year old would call a 14 year old her best friend. I'm not saying that age is a big deal, but the difference in maturity level between a 21 and 14 year old is pretty darn big. If I was the 14 year olds parent I would have some nasty words for your sister. She needs to grow up and get a job and be a woman and quit hanging out with middle schoolers.

Answer 8

It's up to your parents to let your sister know when enough is enough.  If they want to support an adult child, their choice.

I don't think you're jealous, just using good sense, but you can't give your sister a lecture, or tell her what she needs to be doing... even though i know you want to -- it won't do any good.

Answer 9

You could encourage her to get a job, but everything else just seems fine.  Don't say anything about her best friend, that's just not cool