Does my teacher fancy me?? i dont know what to do!?

Question

Basically my teacher gives me extra lessons and there are a number of things he does which make me think he does:

1 - this one time i said that i wasnt as clever as my brother (who he taught) and his response was "yes, but he's not as good looking as you"

2 - i know he has a wife because he tutors one of my male friends and apparently they talk about her quite often BUT he's not mentioned her to me and when i asked he denied it entirely!

3 - i caught him looking down my top a couple of times... like it was so obvious where he was looking. I was only wearing a v neck t shirt...

4 - i know he teaches me biology but he often relates things back to s*x

5- hes quite flirty with me and is always teasing me

do you think he does fancy me or hes just a bit of a flirt? the problem is that I have started to fancy HIM ... i know its wrong and im not sure what to do. He is 40ish and i am 18 (so im not that young..)

Answer 1

As a teacher writing there are professional obligations we need to uphold, but sometimes we 'skirt' around them for fun

I am fully aware that if he finds me attractive and has a crush on me, than I must be the adult when I am around him.

By the adult, how aware are my feelings on the matter. Do I enjoy it? Will I be able to control my heightened sense of touch? How attracted am I do this person? These questions cannot be answered honestly or appropriately by anyone under the age of 21. Maturity and self-awareness of one's needs and motivations as that of an adult needs to be uncovered privately, and the needs and motivations of the boy in question needs to be uncovered as well.

In all honesty, to protect myself, I ususally stand back even further from those I could potentially desire, and become distant. I use it as a method to teach boundaries and having them understand that care and love has boundaries, and that teachers do care and love their students, but its more protective and parental than desire. This often hurts the boys, but I try to do something nice for them, like give them candy, or call up and say something nice to their parents about them, or give them a positive note, or even make them feel special in class.

Often I am more fond of my boys that are good-looking and its a challenge to teach them when they are interested in me. It is nothing ever evil or with the intent to hurt them, and real teachers, ones who do care for their students, should see that the best demonstration of a teacher's duty of care, is by allowing those that they love and care and even sometimes are attracted to the most, to develop relationships suitable for their age and maturity level.

Teachers must see that missing a partner for a young teenager is hurtful and lonely, and that they are looking for something or someone to fill this gap. They may replace this with someone they see often and confuse their feelings for this person. On the same note though . . .

I would love to see some of my young hot students return to find me, and for them to say (if I am still single), "Miss, I am 20-something now, I wanted you back in the day, and I still remember you, and I want to have my way with you now, can you let me now?" I would turn terribly red and stammer, and probably want to hide behind something, but more than likely, even at this point, I would have to coaxed and courted to give in, as we are both adults, but its just my nature to be shy.

I hope this answers your question.

Answer 2

Honestly, a 40-year-old man is no good match for an 18-year-old young woman (especially a married one :) )  I would call attention to him looking down your shirt and let him know you think its inappropriate.  If you're 18 then school is almost over, no reason to ruin his career over it, though it is something that needs attention brought to it.  From what you're saying I would say yes, he is attracted to you.

Answer 3

well, look carefully, does he do the same to any other girls?

maybe you haven't noticed that?

but if he isn't a flirt and plays around with all the other girls (the way my religion teacher does >.<) then yes, i think he DOES fancy youu. and if he tries to take things further then that is NOT RIGHTT and you need to take action no matter how much you like him. if you WANT to connect with him do it after you graduate.

Answer 4

Its possible that you are mis-interpreting his intentions, but things look a little suspicious.  Its up to you how you want to handle this.  If you pursue meeting with him, someone is going to get hurt - either his family, you, or both.  It is much easier to turn away before something happens - you have to decide if if its worth the risk.

Answer 5

not while he is your teacher. If you really like him and not just happy that he is flirting with you then wait to you leave school and are of age. Anything before that is against the law!!!

Answer 6

it doesn't matter if he fancies you or not, HE'S MARRIED.  do you really want to take up with a man who has the morals of an alley cat?  he's already proven that he can't be trusted and he is of low moral character.  

take the high road and don't give in to this person as he isn't worth it.