Does open adoptions go before a judge to be signed?Isn't that legal enough?

Question

I thought it was , of course I was just 16 back then and didn't understand everything.

Answer 1

There is no way to legally enforce it. The going before a judge is only to terminate parental rights of the biological parents and to finalize the adoption to the adoptive family.  There is no way to legally make someone do an open adoption- even if they use an agency.  It is basically a trust that both parties will do as they say in an agreement they make outside of the actual legal work involved for the adoption itself.  

While open adoption works well for many people without problem, there are times the relationship in open adoption may change to be more/less openness depending on individual circumstances that could evolve through the life of a child. Such changes in level of openness could be initiated or desired at any time by adoptive parents or the biological parent(s) involved in the agreement.  If someone decides they don't want to continue an open adoption however there really is nothing that can be done.   I mean, think about it. How stupid would it look to go before a judge and say "I'm suing my kids first parents because they won't be open in the adoption with us" or for the first parents to do so and say "well, the adoption finalized and the child is legally theirs but they won't send pictures every day" or whatever. It would be thrown out in a second.

Answer 2

no.  i think there is only one state that can enforce it if i remember correctly.

sadly, most first mothers are screwed by this.

Answer 3

What????  An open adoption just means that you get access to how the child is doing, etc.  It's still a LEGAL PROCEDURE because you are giving up your child to someone else permanently.  It needs to go before a judge to ensure that you don't backtrack on the agreement or want MORE than you are entitled to down the road.  This is why you should always have legal representation.

The baby isn't yours anymore, you are giving it up to people more mature, able, and capable of raising the child.  It's a very commendable thing to do when you know you can't handle the child.  Saves the child from going through a lifetime of hardship.

However, an open adoption simply means that you have access to certain areas (depending on the court agreement) of the childs life.  Sometimes it's visits, sometimes it's just pictures and letters.  Sometimes it's active involvement, sometimes not.  But you should never be considered that child's mother as it hinders the bonding of the child in the new family.  

An open adoption is done for the CHILD'S best interests, so they know who and where they came from and get access to health info, etc.  It has nothing to do with a biological mother's WANTS.  

This is a common misconception I find boggling.  Just seems common sense to know that you are no longer that child's mother, just their biological counterpart.  A mother is the person who RAISES the child.  Who feeds them, comforts them, loves them, supports them.  Being a mother isn't a right, it's a priviledge.  At 16, I don't expect you to grasp that as your maturity level and intelligence are not the same of an adult.   However, now that it sounds like you are a bit older, I would hope you are getting a better grasp on that fact.

Answer 4

If your adoptive parents have gone through the legal process and  gone to court you're safe.  Many adoptions are open; my two are.  It's a legal adoption.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, an open adoption is only as good as the adoptive parent's word.

So if they decide, once having the baby legally, that they don't want to honor their promises to the bio mother, well they don't have to legally.  Ethically, well yeah...they should have the morals to stick to their word, but many adoptive parents unfortunately will say anything they think will let them have the baby, only because they know, legally, they can't be held to their word.

It sucks.  I am a potential adoptive parent, and seriously I don't know how people can look at themselves in the mirror every day knowing that they basically lied in order to steal a child from his/her biological family.  

If we were to adopt (we are still debating it) we would do anything and everything in our power to help our child know their biological family, so this just makes me sick.  I couldn't live with myself knowing I stole a child like that.

Answer 6

Our open adoption agreement was not signed by a judge.  It was signed by aparents, first parent and the social worker at the agency.  I'm so sorry.  It should be enforceable by law but it is not.  Again i'm so sorry you are not being treated with the respect you deserve as a first mother. Best Wishes