Does she really have grounds for being mad?

Question

My cousin asked me to be the godmother of her little boy, to which I gladly accepted. So next month I have to fly from Chicago to Houston where the baptism will be. Anyway, because I'm a college student and have classes on Fridays until 2:00pm and traffic to O'hare airport is horrendous (esp. on Fridays) I opted to fly out Sat. morning, so I could be there for the baptism on Sunday. Well I just told my cousin this and she completely flipped out on me! I knew she was having her other son's birthday on Saturday, so I figured I would fly in at 11:00 and be there for his birthday party in the afternoon. But, unbeknownst to me she planned it at 11:00am. (Who has a kid's birthday party at 11:00 am anyway!) I told her I would just get a shuttle to her house and that it would all work out. She basically told me then that I should have consulted her before I booked my ticket (BTW I paid for it so I don't know why I would have to consult her?) and then replied, "I can't talk to you right now, I'm too upset" and hung up!

Am I crazy here? I cannot for the life of me figure out what the big deal is? If you have any insight as to why she could be mad I'd love to hear it because I have no idea!

Answer 1

Your cousin seems to be wrapped too tight. She has NO grounds for being mad. You are not crazy. I don't see what the big deal is either. If details were that important to her she should have discussed it with you when she first asked you to be godmother.

Answer 2

You are both wrong.

She gave you the honor of being godmother. She assumed you were coming in on Friday. Maybe you said you were before or not and then changed your mind to a different ticket. Who knows. She assumed you were going to be there Friday night. You should have checked with her before booking the ticket. When you have kids you will understand that things go on their schedule. My son's birthday will be at 11am this year. (soccer, nap time, etc all change things)

She is wrong for blowing up at you over such a minor thing.

Call her back and talk to her. Apologize for not consulting with her. Tell her that your school schedule comes first. Your ticket was $400 cheaper or whatever by flying on Saturday. If she wants to pitch in the other $400 for you to change your ticket you would be happy to change it and then wait for her to respond.

Answer 3

It seems to me that your cousin has forgotten the fact that the world doesn't revolve around her.

You get there when you get there, & she can be glad of it.

She asked you to be her son's godmother, but if that comes with these kinds of strings attached, maybe you should reconsider.

Answer 4

Seeing that you had to make your own travel plans and pay for them she should have been more considerate and let you know details of where and when.

But where she should have let the information flow more freely you maybe cold have asked to be sure. She was wrapped up in all the planning and preparation.

Answer 5

She probably isn't mad at you, but she is taking her stress, frustration and pent up anger out on you, which is not right and not fair.  

She must have a full plate with a baptism and birthday party scheduled for the same weekend, on top of preparing for your visit.  Possibly the reason her son's birthday party is at 11:00 am.  She has planned way way way too much in a very small time frame.  Snapping at you like that was very inconsiderate especially with everything you are doing to honor her request.  

If any one has grounds for being mad, it would be you.  But, I imagine once your cousin has had time to cool off and think about it, she will be calling to apologize.  Hopefully she will come to her senses and realize that there are a few weeks still to rearrange her schedule and de-stress that special weekend.  

Wow, what a pickle.  I have driven many times through that O'Hare traffic when I travel from Texas to visit my brother in Wisconsin -- talk about stressful!  Be careful.

Answer 6

Um wow.  Well, I know sometimes I over react to things and then when I have a chance to think about it I realize I was being a bit too uptight.  Perhaps this will happen as well.  Also, your main purpose and obligation of going was for the baptism, which is on Sunday, and you'll be there in plenty of time for that.  If you had previously made a commitment to be there for her older son's party, you should have definitely pinned down the time and not assumed the party was in the afternoon.  However, if your attendance wasn't something that was really discussed, then she needs to learn how to be alot more flexible.  You can easily celebrate the birthday when you get into town, even if everyone else has left.  It may be even more special that way because he'll actually remember what you got him!!

Good luck with it all.....