Does the Dorsimbra form appeal to you ?

Question

*****

DIMINSHING LUMENS

Shadows dance, flicker-flame in candlelight,

with wick and wax exchanging tender tones,

no fire to warm my solitary night,

no heat to sooth my poor and tired bones,

Can you hear it?

Even a single candle flame

makes a symphony of sound

and radiance,

I see your pulsing yellow-white desire,

and hear the bellows blowing at your feet,

the moment when the light is at its lowest,

shadows dance, flicker-flame in candlelight,

*****

Answer 1

Nothing you have written appeals to me. Every word, despite it's possible inspiration is bland. You are much like a machine, pumping out shelves of perfect poetry. I would gladly trade the entirety of your beloved canon for one line of formless misspelled beauty. Art should flow from the heart to the fingers, bypassing the mind which unconsiously and automatically translates our feelings into whatever words our vocabulary holds. The artist should be just as surprised as anyone when his work turns out to be beautiful.

That is why you are not an artist.

Answer 2

It truly is elegant. I enjoy poetry that takes a small simple thing and delivers it as a concerto. I think you have the hang of it now. (grin)

Answer 3

Where are your critics now?  This is such an enchanting poem rich in imagery and tone.  Absolutely beautiful.  Your Dorsimbra definitely appeals to me.  Excellent write.

Addition:  Thanks for the song, TD...I really enjoyed that.  I've heard it before, but never listened closely to it.  I can tell you that her "cowboys" are not here in Stillwater.  ;)  My favorite line from the song "I'll wash the dishes while you go have a beer"  I loved how her tone changed half way through the song.

Answer 4

Yes, the form appeals to me as does your beautiful, soulful, Dorsimbra.  

Answer 5

Sorry to pick but....the title needs a little something "I" think. Apart from that it is a beautiful offering.  

Answer 6

Dorsi do on this.  Second stanza great.  Very well done.  Go to the head of the class.

Answer 7

I am passionate about form. But form is only part of poetry. Poor drumbeat destroys the music. Without the words, the metaphors, the images, we have prose in poetic format. Your serious poetry does what poetry must do. Your central stanza in this poem stands as a model for poetry equal to that of the Masters.

Answer 8

This is so soft and the form is elegant.  Thank you for this gift and lesson.

Answer 9

very appealing and a nice moment.

Answer 10

This is so elegant, so beautiful.  There is a bittersweet tone to the lovely images.  I was not familiar with this form but it is exquisite under your touch.  Thank you.

Answer 11

You do the Dorsimbra like a Tango.  I love it!