Does the future spouse have the right to know that the girl may be...?

Question

mentally ill? What if she hasn't even told her own family, her own parents and brothers and sisters because she doesn't want them to know (own personal reasons), and she can keep it subtle anyway, should the future spouse still be told about this, do they have a right to know? Any Muslim guys out there, how would you feel if you weren't told and then later on in the marriage, you noticed the changes in her personality more and then she told you the truth, would that make you question her honesty, etc, etc, etc? Remember the girl's own family doesn't even know.

I'd like some opinions please and if you can think of any other examples that the future spouse has a right to know about, like the girl not being able to have children, but her family don't want to tell him that.

Answer 1

If this lady is able to keep mental illness hiden from her family it is not real mental illness. There is nothing that a spouse has the RIGHT to know about. We marry people for better or worse because we love each other. Not for what we can get from them. You obviously have not met anyone you love yet and are not ready for marriage.

A GP is hardly likely to diagnose "mental illness" nor is he able to do so, only a psychiatric specialist can do this. This term is very broad spectrum and is never used these days to cover minor depressions. If someone is referred to as "Mentally Ill" generally they will have either been hospitalised or would show outward signs.

Answer 2

Umm, well i expect to have a prolonged engagement.....get to know the person first......won't spend any alone time, but i'd figure out what the deal is.     I'm almost too critical of people...i think average IQ is a mental illness.  

I guess not an answer to your question, but i'm against the 1-day engagements.

Answer 3

Yes, they have the right to know.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to ask but how severe is this illness?

Answer 5

Marriage is a lifelong commitment and it is advisable to tell the truth before hand as it may lead to problems later on in life; problems that may lead to resentment, anger and even separation

Mental illness is a serious problem but in the modern day of science and most importantly with the will of the almighty Allah the solutions can be found that can help people improve their lives  

Answer 6

well its up to you but it would be better if you told to stop future complications! one day he might find out and then leave you cos he'll say you betrayed me(meaning him) etc

Answer 7

If the illness is very bad then yes. If not, then no. But you should still tell your spouse.

Answer 8

I sure wish I knew that my wife was mentally ill when I married her - I would very much like to have spared myself years of terrible suffering.

Don't feel bad for the thumbs down, Mrs. B, people with authoritative backgrounds or who don't agree with the prevailing thought are frequently treated that way here.

Answer 9

how serious is this illness? i it is serious i would take her to the hospital and insh'Allah get her worked out.. you should'nt keep stuff if it's serious..:D

Answer 10

The future spouse should definitely be told . What kind of a relationship would it be if you were holding back major secrets . Something like mental illness is a big thing . It could only lead to heartache further down the line . With things like this honesty is definitely the best policy.  

Answer 11

you shouldn't keep it hidden. she should inform him though she can ask him not to tell anyone else.

if you cant have kids, let the guy know, it shouldn't be, that it later causes problem in your married life    

Answer 12

Salams..

Yes...Personally i do think it is a right of the future spouse to know..I mean if you were to marry a guy, you would appreciate they be truthful with you from the start and that you are aware of any illnesses etc.

its beta he breaks it off now, before you wed, then wen he finds out later...if you know wot i mean..?

Allah is the solver of all problems, just have FAITH and be Honest.

xxxx