Does the grief ever subside?

Question

I lost my mother nearly 3 years ago. I know the grief will never fully subside. There will always be times I miss her. However, I still find myself having times just bawling about missing her. Yes, we were close. I usually have these fits after having a really good time and just wanting to turn around and share my good day with her.

Does it get better? Will it subside?

Answer 1

u just have to be really strong. i am glad that u did share a close relation wid ur mom cause many dont even have that. my mom has lost both her parents nad she feels sad almost all the time. so it has 2 be me to stay by her side and 2 support her in the weakest of times. the pain would always remain if u reallyt loved ur mom but u have to remember that she gave her blessings to u and that u r never really that alone. u will always have her in ur heart. anyways , it will help if u have someone by ur side, some1 u trust , love and cherish. maybe a friend , a relative or a lover. but even if u dont have that don't be disheartened cause u r not alone and dont feel sad. like i said before be strong. the sadness that u fell inside of u. use it. channelise it into somethig creative, something u really enjoy. it will help.use it to become more independent. well, ...good luck!!!! keep grinning!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

In order to be bearable, you must realize what death is. Dying means that your soul changes dimensions. The soul has to leave the physical body in order to do that. As long as you grip on your mother's lost physical presence, you kind of retain her soul in this dimension and hence, you both suffer. Release her, let go of her. This way, you will heal and she will pass on another stage of her evolution. Although it is not a conscious move of yours, not letting her ¨rest in peace¨is very egoist of you and that hurts you. Heal now. You can talk to her anytime you want, she may not vocally answer but she'll receive your thoughts.

Answer 3

Will the pain ever go away?  Probably not.  However, in time the pain can become manageable, or even bearable.  At what stage of the grieving process do you see yourself in?  Anger?  Denial?  Guilt?  Which part?  When you can identify where you are in the grieving process you can begin to move forward.  My next question is do you really want to get past the pain?  What are you doing to help yourself come to grips with your loss?   This is a long process, one in which you may never complete, so how much do you WANT it?  As with most things in life there are "wants", "needs", and "must haves".  Figure out where your pain fits; do you want it, do you need it, or is the pain something you must have?  Once you come to terms with this, then you can decide just where in your life this sense of loss or longing fits and you can adjust your life accordingly to accommodate it.  Try to just talk to her, visit her grave site, or if she was cremated talk to the urn where her ashes are kept.  Tell her all the things you never got the chance to tell her.  Tell her just how hurt you are by the loss of not having her around (physically).  It may sound stupid or even corny, but it helps to get all these emotions off your chest.  When you are talking to her imagine what her response might be.  It can be very comforting, after all you know her better than anyone else...well except maybe your dad.

Answer 4

So sad I am assuming you are pretty young.  I can only imagine as long has you are young there will be more of a need for your parents then when you grow to be more independant.  

However I know you will always miss your mom she is the most important person in a young girls life...

Answer 5

First, I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. I felt moved to answer this because my mother died 5 years ago. Yes, that is a long time and yes it still hurts but I've learned to deal with it.It helps to have someone to talk to who will listen, not talk or comment, just listen. My wife and I are close, but I'll be honest my dog and I have had more talks about it than my wife.Don't be afraid to cry about it if you feel that you need to. Find a quiet place where you can be alone, and just let it out. Even now I find myself talking to my mom from time to time. I wish you luck and hope you will do well.