Does the mother-of-the-groom set the tables at the reception?

Question

My mom just told me that my son's fiancee' told him to tell her that traditionally the mother-of-the-groom sets the tables at the reception. They have not "asked" me to be involved in anything and have been going through my mom to get money, and now the wedding is September 6 and they are saying I'm supposed to decorate the reception tables! I have been so busy with my life and college sons, was not told what color dress the brides mom picked out until about a month ago and we will be on vacation until Thursday. I am so stressed, haven't been able to shop for my own dress for the wedding--ahhh! What am I supposed to do? I offered in the beginning but they wanted her mom to help her with everything.

Answer 1

Nope - I've never heard of this. Tell them they better find someone else, because they hadn't asked you earlier, and you don't have the time to do it.

The mothers of both parents should be able to relax and enjoy the day. They often have paid for part of the weddings - they shouldn't have to work, too!

Answer 2

What?? I never herd of that one! And why hasn't someone told you this before now? It sucks to be the mother of the groom been there and I hated it. I was always kept out of the loop. I'd tell my son thanks but no thanks, the brides mom can do this too! Your just the mother of the groom your suppose to wear beige (lol) and keep your mouth shut! Don't you just love it? I would not do it!!

Answer 3

Nope, she's looking for a sucker so she's making up new rules.  It is customary, not obligatory for the Grooms parents to pay for the Rehearsal Dinner.

What are you supposed to do....Say NO.  If this is how his fiance communicates now, imagine how it will be after the wedding.  Dress delay was probably done on purpose...make sure you to buy a dazzler!  Don't let any dress details out of the bag until night before wedding, just keep saying you haven't found one yet!

Answer 4

Thats a new one! No, its not true. The mother of the groom should be able to enjoy the reception, not have to worry about setting it up. The bride should be taking volunteers to help with this, not ordering you to do it.

Answer 5

thats a new one on me!  no i would say they are making up the rules as they go along.  you offered to help, you were turned down. its  a little late in the game for them to change their minds.

besides which the caterer usually does the decorating and setting the tables.  or the bridal party along with the happy couple do the decorating and the caterers still take care of setting up tables.  

Answer 6

Like the others, I've never heard of such a tradition.

Talk to the family. Is it cultural/ethnic? Is it a family tradition? Can you see photos of other mothers-of-the-groom doing it (so you can get ideas)?

It may be some strange way of welcoming you to the family by giving you some of the work. Perhaps they think you're feeling neglected by their lack of information. (If so, this is a really bad way to fix that neglect.)

I'd tell them right now that I wasn't doing it so that they'd have time to make alternative arrangements.

Parents of the groom are only responsible for the rehearsal dinner!

Answer 7

At my wedding, my husband's mother did about the same thing as my mother...not much.  I had my aunt and cousin decorate the reception hall.  The caterers generally are the ones who set the table with the plates, silverware, and glasses.

I think the tradition of the mother of the groom waiting until the mother of the bride picks her dress is stupid.  Get whatever color dress you want (besides white, ivory, or black).  At my wedding my mom wore a light pink dress and my mother in law wore a plum colored dress.

Answer 8

if she wants to