Does the way a guy propose say anything about how much he really loves you?

Question

what if it's a really bad proposal? does that mean he doesn't care about me really?

Answer 1

Not at all, I think that's ridiculous to think that. I've been engaged three times, married once. Drew proposed to me in Italy, it was romantic and sweet. We never even got close to the wedding date before I left him. Derrick was more of a spur of the moment kind of guy, he plays bass in a band and one night in front of a few thousand screaming people he called me out on stage and got down on one knee. We came close to the wedding date but still eventually split up. My husband proposed to me while we were in our backyard, I was in the pool with his sister and a few of our friends while he and his brother in law were sitting in the chairs drinking beer and they started making smart *** comments at us. We got out to go after them, my husband grabbed me and jumped into the pool - when we reached the surface I call him a jackass, he looked at me and said "Does that mean you won't marry me?" I thought he was joking! He got out and came to the edge with a ring in hand.

Answer 2

It's probably because he was nervous, but that all depends on how bad it was.  

Answer 3

I'm not sure what constitutes a "really bad proposal," but I think you're missing the point.

He asked you to marry him. :)

Maybe things didn't go the way he planned - maybe you're perceiving it differently than he expected you to - maybe he tried a simple approach and you're expecting fairy tale romance.

Not to be mean and I don't know the circumstances of the situation, but he did something really scary and you should appreciate that he asked. That's hard to do. :)

Answer 4

YES THE WAY A MAN PROPOSE SAYS A LOT BUT IF HE IS NERVOUS OF COURSE HE IS GOING TO MESS UP BUT IT THE THOUGHT THAT COUNT BECAUSE HE WANTED TO MARRY YOU AND ME PERSONALLY I WOULD LOVE A MAN FOR THAT AND I STILL KNOW THAT HE LOVES ME

Answer 5

He may not be good with words. It may have nothing at all to do with the way he feels about you. But you know him and we don't, so you have to make that decision.  

Answer 6

I agree with Cheenah, I did just that... I made my fiancee ask me again lol...

He got me the rings, and I knew they were coming but I didn't expect them as soon as he got them for me, and he got them from a pawn shop so I knew I was going to have to have them sized once I *did* get them, cuz they were waaaay too small to wear for me. Anyway, he came home with them and handed me the box and said, "well, here ya go!" lol... and I'm like, "uhh, 'here I go' what?!" and he's like, "You know..." and I'm all, "um, no, I *don't* know, why don't you tell me??" and he repeated himself a couple more times.

At this point I was on the verge of tears, cuz I of course *did* know what it meant, but he's never been the over-the-top romantic type, so I wasn't expecting a lot out of him but I actually wanted to hear the words. (cuz I have been married before, but my first husband just slipped the ring on my finger, he never actually *said* the words, so I kinda felt cheated, lol) So I made him do it, lol. But he did it half-*ssed, lol... "oh ok, will you marry me?" he said, all mono-toned and quickly, kinda slurring the words together. AND I jumped on him right away, I said, "ohhh no, not like *that!!!* you don't have to give a big elaborate speech or anything, but I want something a *little* more heart-felt than that!!!"

So then he did actually get down on his knee in front of me and told me how much he loved me and how much he couldn't imagine his life without me, and asked me to marry him. To which I replied, through my tears lol, "Now, was *that* so difficult??" and hugged him and kissed him, saying "yesss!" :)

*sigh* I guess it turned out to be kinda romantic, but it didn't start out that way, lol :)

Answer 7

Nope. My fiance had this whole speech planned out, but was too nervous, and ended up just saying, "Will you marry me?" But I loved it just the same.

We went wine tasting right after (we were vacationing in the country) and we later told me what he was going to say overlooking a vineyard. It was perfect.

What he says doesn't matter, unless it's something awful like, "You're good enough, marry me?"

As long as you know effort was put into it, it should matter, only that he asked.

Answer 8

What matters, like birthday presents and all that other silly stuff, is that you try and do it in a way you think she'll like.  

Answer 9

The way he proposes doesn't matter.  I think that since he proposed to you, it means he loves you SO MUCH that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.  Isn't that a sign of how much he loves you?

Answer 10

If it's a bad proposal he's probably just nervous that you'll say no. GIve it time. If he's proposing to you he obviously loves you! Good Luck Sweetie! =D

With Much Love,

-Alexa <333

Answer 11

To be perfectly honest, I don't think it has to do with how much he loves you, but I think it does have a lot to do with how he feels about getting married.

One of my friend's husband "proposed" to her while they were sitting on the couch watching TV and she was on the phone with his brother. All he did was put the ring on her finger. Nothing else. No question, no smile, nothing. Of course, she was too excited about the ring to notice that they weren't really even engaged since he never asked and she never accepted.

Another friend's husband just up and decided to ask her if she wanted to go to the court house the following week while they were on the way home from her mother's house. No "Will you marry me?", no real discussion, just "Let's go to the court house next week and get married since you don't have any insurance".

Needless to say, both of these guys put about as much effort into their marriages as they did into the proposals. Thankfully, when I asked my boyfriend if I'd be the only one of my friends with a sweet proposal story, he said "Of course!" =D

Answer 12

Not at all, that was probably the biggest decision of his life, and he may have been unbelievably nervous/ and what if you said NO, goodness. thanks

Answer 13

No ...I know couples where the guy went all out to make sure the proposal was great and then like 2 years later they were no longer married.  All that matters is that you two love each other enough to want to get married!

Answer 14

Perhaps you're putting too much thought into it; or either you're watching too much tv. His way -is his way...and it shouldn't be compared to how or what other guys do. Your marriage will more than likely last the longest. Because I'm sure it was original. Now if you're doubting his love for you based on how he proposed...then perhaps you should be asking yourself "I don't think I love him; based on how he proposed" it now is on you...so ask yourself that question...

Answer 15

Yes, the proposal is very important. If it's a bad proposal ( eg by text, while watching sport ) it doesn;t offer a healthy outlook for the marriage.

Answer 16

Personally, I don't think so. Some guys are way better at planning surprises, or thinking about what their girlfriends want.

Other guys are just so nervous (because it's a big day for them, too), it's enough to get them to get on 1 knee without falling over and get the actual proposal out!!

And, sometimes things just don't go as planned. I have head of guys getting these elaborate proposals together only to have everything go wrong and fall apart at the last minute.

I think it's more his intention that matters: that this is his time to ask the girl he loves to spend the rest of their lives together. As long as it's not flippant and a real proposal, then he probably loves you as much as the guy who spent $50k to fly to Paris.

Answer 17

Trust me. The proposal has nothing to do with the way he feels about you. My husband asked me to marry him in his kitchen while I was washing his dishes. Not romantic at all, but, he loves me more than anything in this whole world, even after 8 years of marriage. Besides, it's not about the proposal, it's about the relationship. So don't get caught up in the little details. The proposal won't be there in sickness and health, he will.

Answer 18

In general, I'd say yes, that the way a guy proposes says a lot about the relationship.

If I were to propose, I'd plan out every single detail and every sentence so that my words and actions would deeply show my feelings towards her, and if I'm going to propose in a public place, I'd also plan it so that the crowd, who does not know me would also understand.

But if I really know the woman I'm proposing to, and she's against romantic gestures and occasions, and just wants to have a relaxed proposal, then I would go in that direction.

For guys who don't or don't seem to try in proposing it could mean a couple of things.

The most common one I'd assume would be the simplest. Men are generally closed off and we don't like to express emotion as openly. (This will make the nice and wonderful things we want to say about you, turn into something simple and almost generic)

The next thing that would probably be the case could be that he is comfortable. (Lazy)

The lazy thing for some couples is to just accept that one day they will get married, so why bother proposing it? Planning out things takes a lot of work when it's something important, and guys just don't want to deal with all that pressure, so if he sees you as the type of woman who may not care about such things, he will do the lazier thing and just plan something really generic.

(The lazy way out says a lot about the relationship. Either he doesn't care enough to try anymore, or that you two have been together for so long that you two already know where the relationship is already headed.)

Lastly, the most simple. He screwed up on the proposal.

Maybe he'll make it up by planning another, more better one though (probably not, if he screws up twice he will be embarrassed and people will think he doesn't love you).

Not everything goes according to the plan, and maybe he planned something that was meant to be really meaningful, but you forgot what  he was trying to do.  

Answer 19

The fact that a man proposes at all means that he intends to make you his wife.  In order for him to do that, he must have a motive.  It is usually love and a desire to keep you in his life for a long long time.

Answer 20

No way, I don't think so.

Some guys just aren't the romantic type.

However, if it is a really sloppy proposal ( just asking you, not even bothering to get on one knee or put the ring on your finger ) I'd tell him to do it again and again til he gets it right. I don't think that is unreasonable, you aren't asking for him to spend millions or go skydiving. Just asking for a decent proposal.

But you should already know how much he cares about you, if its to the point that he is proposing to you.

Answer 21

it does say how much he loves me, it depends how bad but as long as he is trying his hardest and you know he loves you :) x

Answer 22

No definitley not.he probably did not really know how to do it any way else.Don't take it that way. if he purposed to you that means he must love u a lot! good luck

Answer 23

godd give the guy a break theyre only human probably nervous or maybe not romantıc as wed like them to be  just be gratfull thers a guy out there loves you and wants to marry you  so what if he propeses good or bad at the end of the day hes propesed didnt he..thats just like saying if the ring is expensive he loves me if its not he dosent:)) if he didnt love you why would he propese anyway

:)

Answer 24

Absolutely not. It says something about the guy's nervousness! If the proposal was too perfect, I would be afraid that he might be a sociopath or something. I'd rather have a regular guy with a botched proposal that an orchestra on a mountaintop. It means he's a real guy-not a fake!!!!!!

Answer 25

I don't think so.  My guy was too nervous and excited that he couldn't wait to do it.  So he just kind did it at random without planning.  It was cute!  You have to think they probably get nervous and might not be sure of themselves to know what to do.  If it is real love you will know it. :)

Answer 26

I don't think the way a guy proposes to you has anything to do with wether he loves you or not..the main thing is that he proposed and that you're getting married..Love is mysterious

Answer 27

No. Sometimes a big elaborate proposal ends in divorce anyways.

Answer 28

I think the idea is that he put some thought into it. It may be a bad proposal but if he thought it would be the perfect moment then that works for me.  

Answer 29

I wouldn't say so.  If he wasn't Rico Suave before I wouldn't expect him to sweep you off of your feet with a romantic interlude.  Sometimes men just see this as another step in starting their family.  And it is more of an automatic thing than something they think out.

Answer 30

You need more details.  Maybe he was nervous, I'm sure that he was scared.   All guys are nervous.  It's not that there scared of commitment.  It's that there scared period.