Does this EVER END some help please?

Question

Ok so it's been a month since I found out my bf of 7 years has been cheating on me with his married boss who has kids, who is now leaving her husband for him. At this point I am so sick of thinking about it, how he could do it, why he did it, why is she so much better than me, I have already given a huge part of my life to this a*****e and I am sick of giving anymore, why won't it just go away! All he had to do was tell me there was someone else what the h**l is so hard about telling someone who has been there for you through everything the truth? How can a woman he's known for 3 months make me so irreplaceable? Will he ever hurt like he hurt me?

Answer 1

yes it will in time. im assuming there are no kids involved with you two, and if thats the case then its very good... im sorry that hes choosing her over you and who knows why they do this sort of thing, im sorry your hurt. they both are cheaters and cheaters never stop, they will cheat on each other, eventually.

best of luck to you

Answer 2

It won't go away immediately - you've given your heart and soul to someone for 7 years. That's a long time and so, understandably, it'll take a while for you to heal you hurt.

Look, sometimes us men can be really shallow. We only see what's in front of us, without thinking about consequences of our actions. Your boyfriend must have been in love with you, for him to stay with you for 7 years. This new woman has offered him something that is missing from your relationship and, like a one-track-mind-male, he's jumped at the offer. He probably held back telling you because he wanted to have a 'taste' first, before jumping in. I know...I know...a*****e.

I bet he's sorry for what's happened. I bet he wishes that it wasn't so painful for you (and maybe him, too). But the male ego and pride may stop him from showing you that. Give it a few months and, when he has time to really digest what he's done, I'm sure he'll be hurting. Especially when his boss expects him to be a 'father' to her kids. I bet he hasn't even thought that far...

Hold your head up. You're worth more than what he could give you. Way more.

Answer 3

I Have seen and almost had the same problem. You will forget . I know it will be a life loss But you will soon Go alone or find someone else. Let me guess, Once you met him and starting dating, he was all charming and sweet. Then things started to get  a little weird, so you waited to see what's going on, and you figured out this. This is very common. But Just look into your head and you'll think " He was the bad person I was the good person" . And it's true. You had nothing to do with it at all. It may take awhile to think it off. But i believe in you so.. Please Just try and think

Answer 4

It won't last and a lot of lives will be ruined because of what he did.

It really sucks that your life is one of those, but it won't be ruined forever.  Time heals things and eventually you will find yourself in a better place.

Answer 5

You know, aren't you glad you found this out now?  I mean what if down the road, kids & a mortgage.  You deserve better than him and you will eventually have someone else to love.  Do not talk to him, silence is golden.  Move on, take up a new hobby etc.  Give yourself the o.k. to do so and with a new attitude.

He is a rat and has no compassion obviously.  Move on to better things and a better life.

BTW this is not the first time he's cheated in 7 yrs. just the first time he got caught!

Answer 6

"Oh yes" he will rep what he sowed. probably from this married woman with all those kids. don't worry i know all the questions you have are "WHY" but there is no real answer. she was just lose and desperate.so he fell for it. remember all men love to have there ego stroked constantly. believe me when i tell you. He will come back begging for you to forgive him and take him back. please forgive him. just for your peace. but don't take him back. your too good for this guy.  you will be happy again. G/L

Answer 7

Sorry for your loss.  Allow yourself to grieve without guilt but give yourself a time line.  During your grieving period, learn to appreciate yourself and do things which help build your self confidence.  His cheating says NOTHING about you but speaks volumes about his own character.  In life, sometimes we learn more from failure than from success.  Try to look at this situation as one which you can build on.  I think I know how you feel.  I also was in a 7 year relationship which ended badly.  But you know what?  After years...no...decades....of holding a grudge, I finally realized that I forgive the man who caused me so much pain.  I have been happily married for 22 years now to a wonderful man and the way I see it EVERYTHING that happened in my past lead me to this man; my husband, my lover, my best friend, my life companion, my reason for living.  You are hurting now, but you WILL be happy again if you allow yourself to move on, even if (at first) you don't want to.  

Answer 8

regroup..figure out what you need to do at this point, think about your own boundaries and self respect..leave him in the dust

Answer 9

don't ever disrespect yourself by comparing yourself to this home wrecker. the heartache won't just go away, u were betrayed, in the unkindest of ways.when it happened to me i too wondered why he did it, and why was this woman so much better than me.took allot of prayer and self examination to get my self worth back. he did this because she stroked his ego, made him feel special, and this is just part of his character or lack of it.u may be the victim now, but u will survive this, but u have to let the pain in, deal with it, see him for who he really is, and never think this had anything to do with u.yes karma does come back and take s care of wrongs people do to others but u probably won't see it. people have free will, and their choices do hurt people.  

Answer 10

I think you need to talk to your husbands bosses spouse. Maybe a little revenge might work for you. Your not replaceable by anyone other than yourself and I think you need to make some waves. Most men are not man enough to tell their wife or girlfriend they want out of a relationship. Their cowards. They want the best of both worlds.  

Answer 11

You are a good person, your bf does not deserve you.  The other woman is not better then you.  What kind of woman cheats on her husband & tears who childrens life apart for some guy she barely knows.  You can not control other people.  Your bf made the choice to cheat & it has nothing to do with you or what you did or did not do.  I would go to a therapist & talk about how you feel.  You should not blame yourself or think less of  yourself because of what your bf did.  Yes he probably will be hurt someday, but I wouldn't be so concerned about that, forget about him & focus on yourself.  

Answer 12

yes he will hurt.what comes around goes around.good luck to you!

Answer 13

Take him back. It's your duty.

Answer 14

Chances are no..

some guys are just pigs they want it all, shes married has kids witch means child support money, so they'll get married. He'll either decide he's happy or he'll cheat on her. Some guys wont settle down they'll always bounce from woman to woman with no consideration of the woman, some guys treat women like something you buy and when he's finished with his little toy he throws her out like garbage and waves a new woman in her face. And it's those girls out there just like them who encourage that kind of behavior in a man, making them think we bounce back instantly but it's not that way. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you it's h**l i imagine, but be strong and most likely this is not the first time he's cheated on you your better than that but only time can mend a broken heart!

Good-Luck!!!

Best wishes!!!

=D

Answer 15

First, get some self esteem.  I'm not trying to be mean, but if you feel good about yourself it will be much easier.  What goes around comes around, someday he will realize; when he does realize- you will be happy, married ... and in love; not miserable like him! You must move on, he obviously found something in her and it probably can not be explained.  he's trash.... so throw him out!

Answer 16

Sweety, it is just plain normal that you feel all you do and then worse... Being cheated on is never easy... But you need to understand it is not you, nothing you did, nothing you have done, nothing about who you are... It is simply who he is... a cheater, someone without self-respect... ( No one with sincere self-respect cheats on their partner, cheating it is not a betrayal done to the other person alone, it is a lot more than that is the proof that you have no morals, no dignity, no honest, no contentment and no commitment to your own feelings... How can he ever give what he does not have, how could he ever respect you or the relationship you both shared if he can t even respect himself enough to think of himself better than a lowlife who would sleep with a married mother...?)

You are not replaceble, HE IS... that is a big difference there.

He could not have just simply gone away or told you the truth since he does not know what that means... He hides not only from you but from himself and his own insecurities...

Don t ever seek answers to the wind, simply seek acceptance and grow ... what won t kill you will just make you stronger... don t loose your faith in yourself.. keep yourself busy and let it all go.... it will be hard at first but one day in the near future you will thank God that all of this happen and this man is gone from your life... He never deserved you and you know you deserve better and you are stronger than you might think to overcome this pain and be very happy with a man who will be honest and caring with you... Take Care and God bless you!

Answer 17

Don't worry about what happens to him. What goes around comes around. What is more important is to work on yourself and get over him, learn from it, and move on.  

Answer 18

You will feel great when your ex-bf and his new gf break up and he comes running back to you. Then you will relish kicking his sorry *** to the curb.

Trust me, it will not work out between them, especially with kids involved. You will have the last laugh, just give it a little time. Losers!

Answer 19

You should be thanking her!  He has probably been doing this for years and if she is leaving her husband for him, I would bet my life it won't last long and she will be moving on to the next .  That's when he'll hurt, when he gets a taste of his own medicine.  Hopefully, you will have realized you were too much woman for him and have moved on to someone who deserves you!  

Answer 20

You will feel better. This might sound crazy, but certain songs have helped me develop a certain attitude that has gotten me through this crazy summer while I am separated from my husband. Breakups hurt. You need you some P!NK and maybe that new Ashanti... and you should read the book written by Greg Behrendt and his wife, "Its Called a Break Up Because Its Broken." It helped me A LOT. Big hugs to you. Yep, he will certainly get what he has given. Don't you worry. But vengeance belongs to God, just give it to HIM and don't you worry my dear.