Does this concluding sentence make sense??

Question

i have to write an essay about social criticism in the martian chronicles, and i need to know if this sentence makes sense for the end of my first body paragraph:

As far as opinions go, control and greed is just the tip of the iceberg, in an ocean full of social criticisms.

when i read it to myself it sounds kinda weird, but i cant find anything grammaticaly wrong with it. HELPPP!!!!

****any suggestions as to something i should say instead are welcome aslo!!!

Answer 1

its hard to say because i dont have the rest of the paragraph or essay to look

Answer 2

I think it's too vague and cliche'-ey.  Forget about the metaphors and just say what you want to say in clear language.  

(it is artistic though :)