Does this happen to other people? Is it normal? What makes people do this?

Question

I am an adult child of parents who are deceased.My father passed away about 18 years ago and my mother in May of this year. I lived with them all through my school years and then lived next door to them my married years until they passed away.I am the only girl and have 3 much older brothers. My mother and I were very close but not so close that we were "joined at the hip". My question is why when I get sick, even now (and I mean really sick, like I have been for the last 3 weeks)that I want my Momma. Is this normal or not? Do others feel this way too? (I felt this way when she was alive also. And yes she would come and sit with me a while and that would be enough to make me feel that I was safe with her)

Answer 1

I hope it's normal.  When I am really in pain I whine mamamama...thinking that maybe when we as adults are in pain we feel powerless like little kids and mom was always the comforting force in my house for sickness...so it only makes sense that at a vulnerable moment we comfort ourselves with thoughts of what comforted us in the past....you're fine.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Yes, it's perfectly natural & normal to want your mom.  I want my mom sometimes too, and she's only half an hour away!  I'm sure your somewhat more impacted with sadness since your mom has passed, but I would find it odd if you didn't miss/want her.  Hope you feel better soon!

Answer 3

I am so sorry you aren't feeling well......To answer your question, ABSOLUTELY you are normal to have those feelings. It's only natural that you would reflect on that "comfort" you felt when your MOM was there for you. My Mom has been gone for 30 years. I am a Mother and a Grandmother and I STILL draw on her courage and comfort to see me through at times. Even after all these years,there are times when my heart just yearns for my Mom.....She is still with you,Honey. Enjoy her !

Answer 4

This is called attachment. look it up on google

Answer 5

Yes it is normal................................ Mom's make you feel better.

Answer 6

of course its normal.  i'm sure when i'm an old woman and my mother is dead i will STILL want her to help me lol...by the way sorry about your loss

Answer 7

Of course it's normal. Even Marines want their mamas when they're sick. (And even when they're not!) It breaks my heart when I get a phone call or e-mail saying "I just wanna come home, ma."

I hope you feel better soon. What's all going on?

Answer 8

Yes, whenever im sick I always just want to go over to her house, but its kinda out of my way...or if im super sad or upset and crying. Its a comfort thing! & I am 22.

Answer 9

Football players, welders and cops also want their Mamas. Very normal.

Answer 10

yes its compleatly normal

it means you had a healthy relationship with your mother

Answer 11

"I was a quite sickly little girl, also."

yes your so used to your momma always coming to you during your sick periods in life that when she is gone your brain doesnt get used to it yet so you still want her cuz ur used to her always being there in that situation

Answer 12

I think that is normal as you have a good relationship with your mother. Plus as you mention, you was a sickly girl. So everytime you mother will be there to be with you. You will miss your mother will she is no longer able to be with you.

Answer 13

I believe this is very normal...and it may occur on a primal basis in our brain.  The first, and ultimate, source of survival from birth, was our mother.  That early type of emotional and psychological imprint does not seem to leave us.  Granted, it may manifest more in some than others.

Answer 14

It's always hard to loose a loved one.  Please except my sympathy for your loss.

I don't think this is unusual at all.   Your mom was a comfort to you when you were sick.  You were lucky to have a mom who was such a comfort to you and made you feel safe.  These kindnesses are never forgotten.  You mom hasn't been gone that long, so these memories are especially fresh in your mind.  

You moms comfort was always there for you in the past, so why wouldn't you still want those same comforts from your mom now.  It doesn't matter if you're an adult now.  Memories like your moms comfort and making you feel safe will never go away completely.

I still talk to my mom now and then like "mom if you could see me now"   or as other  occasions come up.

So yes you are quite normal with the feelings you have for you mom and still wanting that same comfort and safety you had for so many years.  Just thinking about your mom can still give you some amount of comfort.

Answer 15

It has been said,'To live in the hearts of those left behind is not to die'.

I hate to be the only one to disagree, but no, I don't wish for my mother when I get sick. I don't not wish for her. It just doesn't come to mind. Maybe it is because my husband is right by my side. Maybe it's because I am a mother and grandmother.

I think of both my parents, what we did, what they said, and how much I miss them. We had good relationships and lots of fun times. I miss them, but not necessarily in my times of need.

I remember Mother for the strength and compassion she gave me and my father for the encouragement and self confidence he gave me. Those contribute to my normal life.

Answer 16

oh my...

You are not alone by a far shot.

Even those who were not all that close to our moms, cry I want my mommy! I used to scream it at the top of my lungs!

I am half a century old and still when I am near the end of my rope and some one has untied the knot and put lubrication on it

as I slip towards the end I inevitably call out for her.

Oddly enough I am much closer to my dad, and I was only beginning to really know my mom as a person when she was taken from me.

Answer 17

I have felt the same as you.  My mother and I have had a rocky relationship to say the least, but when I have been ill or had to have surgery, I have always wanted her near me.  As a mother myself,  I think its because we nurture our children when they are young, and it is a comfort thing.  I think its perfectly natural to want your mother in times of stress or ill health, just like when something really good happens to you, you may want her around to celebrate with you.  It just shows that you love your mom and obviously she loved you very much.  I think it is sweet :)

Answer 18

Both my parents have passed away. I still find myself reaching for the telephone when something good happens or when I need comfort. Yes, this is normal.

Answer 19

its normal when u fall sick u think of ur closest, just try to adapt with the fact that she passed away, and seek comfort from ur husband and brothers, gather them around u when ur in serious need of comfort and know that ur mother is watching over u,loving u, wishing u the best life, i hope u recover soon.

Answer 20

That certainly isn't my experience.  I want to be alone when I am sick and sleep it off.  But everyone is different.  It probably depends on how you were raised.  Nothing wrong with you, but I'm sorry you no longer have that.

Answer 21

You are not alone at all. This is normal. Even with me living on my own when i get sick at times i be wishing i was a kid again when mom & dad would take care of me.  When i suffered 2nd degree burns on my neck chest & back i was 33 at the time.  I couldn't bathe or put clothes on my own. Who was the one that helped me? You guessed it my mom. I will always appreciate what she has done for me.

Scooter.

Answer 22

Find someone to take care of you when you are in need. We all need that from time to time. And we all from time to time have energy to offer care to other people. So, just make (or keep) good friends and ask for what you need.

Best wishes!

Answer 23

Normal. When my husband and I were having horrendous troubles, I would go to my mom's after work and literally cry on her shoulder. Sounds like you need someone to comfort you, nothing wrong with that.