Does this make me a w***e or easy?

Question

I understand that it against the grain to have a child out of wedlock but why does that make me a w***e? Why do most people assume that I chose to have a child and not get married. Yes i get that i had s*x and that is a consequence of it but i was on birth control and was actually told by me doctor the chances of me conceiving were close to none! I chose to have my son instead of an abortion because i made my bed and i had to lay in it. I took on the responsibility of a child at the age of 19! My sons father and i are still together and not married (not by my choice). So i guess my question is do most people assume that i am easy or whatever just because i have a child and am not married or is it just a select few? I posted a question as to how long i should wait for my bf to ask me to marry him before i move on we have been together 5yrs and have a 4yr old son together and most people responded with some bitchy comment about how it is my own fault because i decided to have a baby. It was freakin an act of god! cut me some slack

Answer 1

Well it certainly proof you are not saving yourself for marriage  :)

Most people think if you got pregnant at 18, you were easy and not just careless or unlucky

As to the other ?, together for 5 with child and not engage sounds like he is not going to ask anytime soon

Answer 2

What you are looking for is approval in a society that does not approve of what you did, regardless of the reality that you are surely not alone. I don't find fault in your getting pregnant and having a kid. I find fault that you don't own your behavior. It wasn't an act of god, you simply choose to have s*x, and you conceived. The only real birth control is not having s*x. I don't care what your doctor told you, its not true, and you know this now. However, its not ok with me, nor apparently for the society around you. In my world, you get married, then you have babies. I'm not changing my morals because they are not convenient for you. But you don't owe me anything, so live your own life.

As far as your question about your baby's father. I really don't know how long its going to take you to figure out that he doesn't love you or his child enough to commit his life to either of you. I wouldn't be holding my breath though, I think after 5 years, you have an answer, you just don't like it.  

Answer 3

Don't let them get to you..Don't wait for him to ask you to marry him..why not talk to him about it! your not a w***e and your not easy because you have a Kid..I have a 1 year old with a man I'm not with nor will I ever be with him again that does not mean i'm a w***e I'm looking out for the well being of my daughter and I!

Answer 4

w***e? Not unless he paid you for the s*x.

Easy? Not unless you had s*x with him before you even knew his last name, or something like that.

I'd say you're more or less - probably slightly less - normal. It's not uncommon to have unmarried people have children together, although 15 is a rather young age (you say you're 19 and your son is 4 and you just had another child, unless I'm reading you wrong and you mean to say you have only one child and had it at 19 and he's 4 now. Honestly, you're not very clear with this).

Answer 5

I don't think he will marry you.  Okay, I guess you can just keep him with you and your child for as long as he will stay.  But the minute he starts cheating or treating you badly, he's history.  You don't want your son learning that it's all right for a man to behave badly, any more than he already is.

You shouldn't even be thinking about what people call you.  You should be thinking about what's best for your son.  If you are a good mother and do right by your son, that's what counts now.

Answer 6

it doesn't make you a w***e, they charge

neither does it necessarily make you easy just horny

Neither is is necessarily an act of God though, just the consequences of s*x and fertility.

I'm glad you chose to have the child.

If you bf doesn't ask you, ask him

Good Luck

Answer 7

Most of those people are jealous. They probably waited until they were married and then had to struggle to conceive and you did it just be accident. They just wish they were as fertile as you...

bahhahahahahaahah. I'm sorry, I could not type that with a straight face.

Those people who disparage you are just angry prudes who like lashing out anonymously. Don't worry about them.  

Answer 8

Coming from a mom of 1 who is five. I know where you are right now. You arent a w***e. You arent easy. For those idiots who told you that you were, they are stupid. What you are is a woman who like a billion others made the choice to love what  God gave you. Yes you had s*x and yes it was out of wedlock, but God has a plan for you, your son and his father. What you are is strong! I had my son at 19. And we have gone through alot, but he and I are still together. His father and I are not.

In terms of your  bf, you determine how long you are willing to wait. Only you  know how much you have been through with him. Only you know what all those 5 years mean to you and what you have has to endure in those 5 years. Thats whats more important. Dont allow your best years to skate by and him not commit and more children get born and this that and the third. that will further complicate matters. But I think you are making some wise choices. You are gonna be fine. Forget haters. You gotta have them to get where you are going.

Answer 9

you're not a w***e and you're not easy

move on live life and don't take it to heart what people say does it really matter what there opinions are you're raising you're son and caring for you're man if there happy then you should be too

Answer 10

No, it doesn't make you a w***e, OR easy. Everyone has different moral codes & values but I'm willing to venture a guess that most people have s*x before marriage these days. I'm 22 and I know that I CERTAINLY have. 5 years is a long relationship and I would just talk to him to see if he sees marriage in your future, which would definitely be something to think about by now. If not, move on. Don't wait too long, another year or two would probably be my limit.

With regard to people assuming that you're a w***e/easy: I think just the physical existence of a child makes it easy for certain people to judge. Good luck with everything and congratulations on being a strong woman.