Does this make sense or is it too macabre?

Question

"Blood Bound"

A scar sings

on my wrist,

lullabies

from when

we were children.

We swore

sisterhood

with smuggled knife,

fiendish smiles,

and childish devotion.

Tied together with blood

and ashes

in the wound.

Sister,

Sister!

Why can I now

lift only my voice?

You remade

our vow

...alone.

Answer 1

Your question implies that the macabre does not make sense. My experience has been that it makes sense far more often than not. So keep the knife sharpened, and keep on writing so fiendishly fine.

Answer 2

Not at all. To some people it may be, but all in all its a very wonderful poem.

Answer 3

I agree that it's really good.  I'm generally pretty dense about understanding poetry, but your poem is pretty accessible and really makes me think.  

I don't quite get the last word, but that's probably more to my denseness than your abilities.

I don't think it's macabre at all.  I would call it troubling, but isn't that what the best poetry is supposed to do?

Answer 4

A scar sings on my wrist as well, a "lullaby" lie from my own childhood.  I am inspired by this to write a poem about the one true friend, true "sister", I have ever been privaleged to know.  Like you, that friend is no longer in my life. The last line really brings this home..."alone".  This is some of the most moving and powerful writing I have ever read.  I am so glad you are back, and back with a vengeance.  Thank you.

Answer 5

Too dark for me, but you write any thing well.

Answer 6

So cool, in a warm way. This is high-octane juice...

Answer 7

Join the Alone Club!  But you are never alone, nor are any of us.  Your poem is exceptionally moving and powerful.

Answer 8

devotion is warming.

someone made a fire tho.

its not too macrabre. these things happen.

Answer 9

Wow I think it is really good. very pretty . If you came up with it, congrats. you are really good.

Answer 10

A blood oath, broken.  A terrible tragedy.  I swore a blood oath with my best friend, and she stayed that way until death.  A blood oath is more than sacred.

Answer 11

It's pretty good. Too macbre is practically not enough in this horror movie saturated society. After rereading it I changed my mind. I think the lyrical cadence is terrific.

Answer 12

its very good.

at the end i would change the word "remade" with something else... something more fitting....but its amazing. love all your poemsXXDD

Answer 13

That secret is one many wish to be held forever... truth is everyone has been broken and has broken another. We don't know why we do it or even how... if we were asked to explain our methods or how we healed from the breaking we have went through none of us could honestly say... but sometimes we need to be broken by those we most love in order to see that they can break us and thus they are more worthy of our love... this only happens rarely because most of the time the one that has done the breaking is not worth much... We do not like to find out that we have done something like this to someone... and we all know we don't like this done to us... but there is a strange thing that happens to the people in the situation... we grow, we mature, and we get over it. The danger comes when getting over it means getting over a part of our humanity and loving conductibility that we become number and number... poetry is a well suited place to take these feelings and use it as a medicinal drug for the mind and heart, hopefully avoiding the numbness! I loved the poem and this is what I gleaned from your words... and our lives!

Blessed Be. Siren