Does this make you mad?

Question

When women who can't or won't take care of thier children keep them instead of giving them up to a home who will take care of them! As a birth mom it makes me crazy!!

Answer 1

Nothing pisses me off more than seeing a child on TV who has been left in a restroom or dumpster, seeing one who has been abused by their Mom or her boyfriend, or when they are abused by their father. Being a woman who can't have children, and would kill for one of her own to love and take care of, I can't imagine why anyone would hurt a child, much less their own. I know what you are saying. Yes there are good parents out there, who struggle to make ends meet but provide their kids with love and support. But to those that don't, YOU SUCK!

Answer 2

My parents never had the financial needs to give us extra!  But so far we have never missed a meal or lived under a bridge.  My parents are not bad parents.  We are actually  a very loving family.  Even though we may not have the EXTRAS, we have love!  We see other family's who have all the money in the world, and no love.  Their kids grow up to be criminals, drug addicts etc.,  My parents have never had to put up with that.  I'm the baby in our family and I'm 21 with a full time job and paying for my own college to be a nurse!  If my parents where very bad parents, do you think I would be doing this?

Answer 3

Okay, you may need to clarify your question. what do you mean by can't? Are you talking about mothers who struggle to make ends meet should give up their children? Then I can't agree with you. How is being poor,  a critea for mothers giving up their children. Just because they can't give them everything under the sun, doesn't make them bad mothers. They may be providing a roof over their heads, clothes to wear and food to eat. It's just to an excess. I applaud single mothers who do everything in their power to provide for their children. As a mother yourself you should applaud them too, for making the scarfices that they need to make to provide for their children.

Now, a mother who will not care for her children out of her own choice, then yes I will agree with you on this. This type of mother has willfully choosen not to provide for her children and in this case maybe she should consider having someone else step in and take care of them instead.

Answer 4

every single mom struggles out there despite age or marital status. i give credit to the ones who try, even though they may have not wanted the situation in the first place. they are taking care of them the best way they can and new moms all struggle. you cant tell me the moment you had a child you were super mom. no mom is a super mom and no mom is perfect so no it doesnt bother me. its a learning experiance

Answer 5

*Shrug*  There are lots of REALLY great moms out there that struggle every single second to provide for their children.  I think they are doing the right thing by busting their butts to take care of their children rather than giving them up so that it'll be easier on them.  My parents struggled and fought to be great parents.  We sometimes went without lots of things, but we always had clothes, food and shelter.  Above all else, we always had our parents' love.  I would have been scarred for life if my parents had given me away to another family.

As for parents who just won't take care of their children, that sickens me.  Unfortunately, there are people who are great parents that have their children take out of the home, but there are parents that couldn't care less about their child that still have full custody.  Its just not fair.

Answer 6

There are TONS of services available. My own parents were poor, but my dad worked 1 full time and 2 part time jobs, my mom had a veggie garden, canned all our veggies and fruits (and jams), baked all our bread (and pies and cookies), and sewed our clothes. Poor doesn't make you a bad parent. Not caring enough to put forth the effort makes you a bad parent. If you can't do that, then there are people who can.

Answer 7

Honestly, yes it makes me very mad. I'm adopted. I've also met my birth mother and been close with my birth siblings (whom she has kept). I'm so glad I was saved from that mess. Now my sister just turned 20, and is expecting her third child, all from different "sperm donors". All of them live in a 3 bedroom house (and by all of them I mean her and her kids, her parents, her sister, and 3 dogs). She's a meth addict, all of them are alcoholics and constant smokers. I can not for the life of me understand why she has not considered adoption. She would much rather be off smoking dope than at home with her children. Yes, she does it while pregnant. I try and see them whenever possible, and look after them. If she keeps going downhill my family is not going to stand for it, and will take legal action (seeing how im their guardian). Well I guess that turned into more of a life story, so for a final answer YES! it drives me crazy :]

Answer 8

YES!  It makes me angry and it also saddens me.  So many people (even in this group) have basically said to my husband and I that we weren't meant to be parents since we couldn't get pregnant and we should just "accept it".  Then we see people in public or hear about people on the news who are neglecting their children, etc., and it drives us to tears.  

We have been blessed to adopt a wonderful son whom we love with our whole heart, but thinking about what he went thru or could have gone through with his bio parents is absolutely tragic.  I know there are a lot of discussions in this category about convincing a bio mom to keep her child, and in some cases I can understand the push for that.  But there are also bio parents out there who do not wish to parent or cannot parent for whatever reasons.  These people should consider adoption as an option.  In our case, our son's bio parents didn't want anything to do with him once he was born.  And it wasn't as though they were shielding themselves from the loss caused by a possible adoption.  They literally would not hold him or care for him when they left the hospital.  It was so sad, and still is.  When we found out later that the bio parents gave birth to another child almost exactly a year later, it infuriated me.  These people just keep having children and neglecting them so that the state must step in.  It's absolutely horrifying not to mention completely unfair to the children.

Answer 9

Usually, it's the people who never consider adoption who treat their kids like c**p.  Look at Britney Spears.  The latest is that her children are going to be tested for drugs.  Crazy.  She never considered adoption, most don't.

This is just an apples and oranges situation.

Yes, I also get upset when I hear of children being abused and neglected but to think that those children should have just been put up for adoption at birth, well, that brings to mind a situation like Margaret Atwoods fictionalized "A Handmaiden's Tale".

Answer 10

Well, I guess it makes me a LITTLE bit mad. Read these books and you'll see something that'll make you cry(TRUE STORIES): A Child Called 'It' AND READ THIS: The Lost Boy *Read the first one that I listed, then the second one is when he grows up. This happened in California. This mom tries to burn her son's arm and she makes him starve and stuff. =( Really sad. Please read. It's not a hard book at all and it's 5th grade level, but still, it's for all ages. =( Bring tissues with you when you read it.*