Does this mean they're ready to turn it into an affair?

Question

Two married co-workers spend months casually flirting – stares, sensual glances, verbal flirting, etc. At a work function, both end up sitting at the same table, with the respective spouses. The woman is above-average attractive and in her 20s, and the guy’s wife is cold towards her. After some awkwardness in introductions, the guy and woman start flirting.

The woman’s husband leans in to speak in her ear, the guy’s wife has her back to the woman… Then the married guy simply sits, stares in to the woman’s eyes and smiles as her husband is talking in her ear. The woman stares back and silently mouths “hi” to him. Throughout the evening, they can’t keep their eyes off each other, even with their spouses right next to them. The flirting has intensified lately.

Does doing all of this in front of their spouses mean that they’re ready to turn it into an affair?

Answer 1

It was inconsiderate and maybe they just got a rush from flirting in front of their spouses.  They shouldn't begin an affair, especially when they work together.

Answer 2

Possibly, yeah, i would say so.  

Answer 3

It doesn't mean that they are ready to turn the flirting into an affair, but it does means that they don't value or respect their relationship with their spouses at all.  

Answer 4

The way I see it they are already cheating.   If I were the wife, I would slap both of them.

Answer 5

Sounds like they are already having an affair to me.  They need to try to avoid each other until they can decide what they really want... their spouses or each other.  It's not right (or fair to the spouses) to have both... unless everybody knows and is okay with it.

Answer 6

u lost me at hello

Answer 7

You know darn well it certainly isn't a good sign. I hate to tell you this but this has already turned into an affair. The question you should be asking is if this emotional affair these two married people are engaging in is going to turn physical soon. Unless one or both spouses, not the ones engaged in the emotional affair, but the innocent parties here, do something about this situation and fast.

At the very least this is terribly dishonorable behavior, and disrespectful on top of that. Disrespectful to flirt with each other right in front of each others spouses, and in full view of everyone in the room to boot. This is a very dangerous situation. If both are so willing to flirt outrageously in such a public fashion and in a public forum it is probably already moved into the physical realm, and it may also signify one or both are perhaps ready to separate from their respective spouses and move in with each other.

If that is the case I think their spouses are well rid of them. This is terrible behavior and reprehensible. I shudder to read what you wrote here. It just creeps me out that people can be so unfeeling and callous as to treat somebody they supposedly love in such a fashion is beyond me, and in such a public place. They both are mocking their respective spouses in front of all their coworkers.

You know the old saying don't you? That the spouse is the last to know? Well, it is usually true because of two reasons. First, the spouse simply doesn't want to see the signs in front of their noses. Second, those around them are either too cowardly to tell them what is up, or believe it is none of their business to say anything. If it is mere coworkers then it isn't any of their business. But, I know I would appreciate a heads up! If it is friends who are also coworkers, then they need to speak up and tell the spouse what is going on. It is wrong to withhold this type of information.

Listen, you are either the spouse of one of these betraying cheaters, one of the betrayers, or a coworker and/or friend of one or both of these couples. If you are one of the spouses, I would say you are the male's spouse, because you focus on his behavior more than her behavior. If you are neither of these, then you are a coworker.

If you are the spouses, and you think this is the first time you husband has cheated on you, and you still love him, then by all means attempt to work it out. You would need to confront him right away and just not let up until he confesses. You will also need to learn how to fight fair, so you can fight for your spouse. Here:

http://marriage.about.com/cs/conflictand...

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/2...

Both websites have articles on fighting fair in a marriage. All couples fight, but how you fight will determine if your marriage will stand a chance of lasting a lifetime, or end prematurely in divorce. Please note these websites also contain a lot of other marital and family information which can really help a couple make it long term. Remember, 50 percent of all U.S. marriages do last a lifetime! So, half of all married couples do manage to stay together until one passes on. The bond that creates is amazing, and well worth the fight. Pun intended.

Now, if you are a coworker, and are considering spilling the beans, do so. If you were my coworker or my spouses coworker and phoned me to provide a heads up, I would appreciate it. I know you would be sticking your head out but it is the right thing to do in my opinion. If the cheaters cannot handle the truth of their actions, too bad. If the wife/husband rejects what you have to say, too bad for her too.

If you are the person involved in this affair, what the heck are you doing? You are married, and he is married.