Does this not p**s you off?!?

Question

I work with my parents. I thank them that I have the job.

You see I'm 17, and can't drive. I'm my parents little guinea pig.

They just tell me what to do and I do it no questions asked.

Why? Because I'm their kid. And their my parents.

So they give me the job. Which I'm grateful for.

Only to make me do overtime things without getting paid.

Then I get to wait until they're ready to go home.

Which today was FOUR HOURS.

I could have been home at 2, but I actually stepped through the door at about 7:30.

They do this a lot you see. All the time. I'm their emotional abuse kid when their angry they just yell at me. I'm the working kid that does pretty much everything around the house AFTER I work. They limit what I can do and I've never been to a dance, on a date, or anything like that. I'm about to explode. Just a side note. They said their going on a double date with me if I ever do.

I'm so pissed I could scream. They just take advantage of the fact that I'm not going to do or say anything about it. I hardly ate today even. I could eat right now, but I'm not going upstairs to see them.

So my question is, should I say something?

Should I do something about this?

And should this be the line?

By the way, I am grateful for what I have okay?

So please none of this you ungrateful brat c**p. Please.

Thanks all.

- Apollo

Answer 1

yup same with me and my dad. u just have to start to learn to assert yourself. everytime my dad needed anything he would just call my name and i'd have to go with him to work on houses (he's a landlord). After my job, its off to another house and another, job after job for me to do w/o being paid a penny i might add. not  much time to hang out with friends or anything. One day i just snapped at him, I yelled every single feeling that i had bottled up for the past 5 years... simply, i went beserk on him. he asks me now if i could help him now and that he'll pay me to do it. Sometimes you just have to say no.

Answer 2

I can relate.  My parents made me work for their business and I also did tons of work at home.  I did more than any of my friends but they gave more opportunities than most of my friends got.  About 18 years later I see that it has made me very hardorking, and perhaps a bit too much.  I guess it's hard to say what to do.  Maybe they are trying to teach you responsibility, that when things need to be done, you do them, not waiting for a convenient time.  Also I can tell you that even now that I am 36 years old, it is difficult for my parents to respect my time.  They forgeet that I am now a professional also and will make me wait for them or interupt important phone conversations.  Frustration now and I think it will be forevever.  Parents hwve difficulty ever seeing their sons and daughters not as children.  It can be rough but hopefully they just expect alot out of you because they know you are capable and that they also expect alot of themselves.  

Answer 3

I would be so proud if I had a child like you.

What would get my attention and understanding in a situation like that is if you came to me and asked to talk.

You sound like a very respectful person so if you'd just mention all of the things that bothered you and offered alternatives that would still allow you to handle your work and school responsibilities while giving you a bit more freedom, I would definitely be open to give you more independence.

Answer 4

you should be in school or college!

what will you be doing when you are 27? or 37? or 47?

still being their guinea pig?

Answer 5

lol everyone who lives with their parents has this exact feeling. The pressure building up and sooner or later you WILL fight with them. Youll scream every thought and every belief at them.

In the end it won't change a thing.

Wait till you move out, than you can do whatever the heck you want.

Answer 6

you gotta learn how to control everyone around you. Parents are the easiest... as long as you are under their roof unfortunately you gotta do what they say, so get ur own job so that as soon as u turn 18 you get the heck outta there and date who ever you want without ur parents coming along! I was able to control my mom, it suprises me that your parents control you!

Answer 7

I believe you've answered your own question.  If you say nothing, what will change?  You're 17 and you're growing into adulthood.  This is the perfect time to practice behaviors that will serve you throughout the rest of your life.  

Should this be the line?  Only you can answer that.  How much longer are you willing to stay quiet while resenting the way things are?  Rehearse what you will say and when you're able to say what you want without sounding like an "ungrateful brat", say what you need to say.  

In other words, address the issue in a mature, non-complaining way.  Stick to the facts, tell them how they are affecting you and present a compromise where everyone wins.  That will show you are mature enough to be trusted so they don't feel like they need to double date with you.  They may have just said that to get a rise out of you.

Answer 8

You should think about what you would say to your parents and then sit them both down and tell them how you feel. Sometimes parents overprotect because there's a lot of bad things that happen to people nowadays (even 17 year olds). Try to look at it from their standpoint and be mature about the conversation, don't sound whiny.

If things don't work out as planned... just remember that you will be 18 years old in less than a year. You can move out, go to college and do WHATEVER you want to do. Just try not to sever your ties or good relationship with your parents.

Answer 9

they are not mind readers, if you want them to know..... TELL THEM!

Answer 10

You are doing a great job, keep it up until you are 18 then you can move.

You need some time to go  do some sports and work out your frustrations.  You should have time to be with other kids your age.

There isn't much you can do about this if they won't give you a break.  They need to appreciate you more.

Answer 11

If you could have walked home or biked home in less time than waiting for your parents took then you have no one to blame except yourself.  You're a young adult at 17.  Even if you can't drive you do have other options.

Answer 12

you need to talk to your parents ask them to listen to what you have to say don't be rude or demanding when you talk to them tell them how you feel that you want to spend time with your friend tell what you want be nice about it don't disrespect them.talk to them don't get mad there your parents

Answer 13

your parents are overbearing users. They should not yell at you. I don't think they should make you do all the work. I think they have some good qualities, like making sure you have food and clothes...etc, but they could do better and let you date a kid you know well with a curfew. Talk to them about it and show them the yahoo responses.

Answer 14

Okay, Apollo, you blew off some steam. Now, sit down and write up a short list of SPECIFIC things you would like to see change. Set it aside until tomorrow. Then look at it again and remove some. Give the final list to your parents and ask them to think about it for a couple days. Then sit down and talk about it. I'll bet you can compromise on some things, and it will make you feel a lot better. Hang in there.

Answer 15

Some parents have their own way of parenting and who are we to say that they are doing it wrong?  I understand the way you feel, I really do.  Nobody likes being under-appreciated, which it sounds like you are.  If I were in your place, what would I do?  Your 17, for the next year make the most of what you can do and bite your tongue without losing it completely, and just know when your 18, the control is now in your hands (provided you graduate high school too).  Some parents don't think about the emotional support that kids need.  They think that as long as they feed you, put a roof over your head, and don't physically abuse you, that they're doing a good job.  Everyone knows that's complete c**p because the emotional well being of a child is as important as all of the other.  The only advice I could give you is make sure you are working on your future, whether it be college or a job that is not with your parents.  The old saying is true, you don't know what you've got until it's gone, and they will definitely appreciate you when your gone.

Answer 16

Apollo, Why dont you explain to them that you need to have some respect from them  as a employer and as a parent ,Explain to them that you would like to have a life and would like to  not be there fall back kid  I am not saying to be rude to them but for you to RESPECT them they need to RESPECT you also

Answer 17

I can understand how you feel; at 17 you are ready to spread your wings and fly. You want your independence and think you are ready to do things without your parents watching you 24 hours a day. That is just part of growing up; however, I do agree with you that your parents need to give you more freedom since you are 17. Just from what you have said, you sound like a hard working young man, who respects his parents very much and wants to do right by them. So, I am going to give you some helpful advice and hopefully, if you word it right, your parents will see that you need more freedom and can be trusted.

Mom and Dad:

I want you both to know that I love and respect you very much. I know you only want the best for me, however, I feel that you need to give me more freedom and allow me to have more time to be with my friends. You have taught me well and the lessons you have taught me have stuck with me, but I am old enough to know the difference between right and wrong because of you and your diligence. I am asking you to respect me as a person as much as I respect you by allowing me to leave work when my time is done, knowing that I will be responsible and respect you. I would never do anything to bring shame to our family and I am hoping that you understand. If you had someone working for you instead of me, you would have to pay them the overtime if they stayed until you went home, but I have been working it without getting paid and I feel that is unfair. I think that we could negotiate by extending my privileges or giving me money when I work overtime. If I at any time show you that I am not responsible enough to have the freedom you graciously give me, then we can work out suitable discipline, but please, I am asking that you at least think this through and respect me as a man. I am no longer a child and I think I have proven that to you.

I hope this helps.