Does this sound a little suspect?

Question

My gf has two kids by two different men. One she was married to and one she was not. Anywho, she and I were together for two years...I love her daughters just like I would if they were mine. But this story doesn't seem to make any sense. She says that both fathers got together, colluded against her in court by lying on her to get custody of her kids. Even one of the father's wife and his parents were present in court and also said some untrue things about her. The court decided that each father should get custody. My ex says she lost because she had a horrible attorney and her kids fathers and their familiy lied on her.

Now she's 33 years old...never had a "decent job" other than part times that she either just left and never went back to or quit. She also seems to have the worst rapport with her colleagues, no matter where she goes there seems to be a problem. She does NOTHING financially to take care of her kids mainly because she won't get or keep a job. So if nothing else, I know she wouldn't be able to support herself and 2 kids (maybe that's where I would have come in). Would you believe that a court system would take two kids away from their mother if she wasn't unfit? Could there be enough lies that TWO men and witnesses could tell that a court couldn't see through? I know people lie in court all the time...but she says she couldn't afford a GOOD attorney but if she had had one, she would have her kids. I can't make any sense of this. I only know little about this kind of stuff since I don't have any kids of my own.

Answer 1

I'm not sure about your state but my best friends tried to get custody of his 2 kids after his wife was caught with weed and his attorney told him that even though she was caught with weed it still hard to prove that makes her unfit

Answer 2

I would say they took her kids away because SHE was unfit.  It sounds like she is a bum and it sounds like she is the liar.

Answer 3

Find a new gf.  Yours has issues.

Answer 4

If she unable to financially take care of the children, yes, the courts will award custody to the parent who has the means of support to care for the child best.  Its not unheard of.  And bad attorney's can be an issue...  what I think the issue is though is she's lazy and has made no effort to better her financial situation and the court needed to do what was in the best interest of the children, giving them to the parent who can provide food, clothing, shelter etc on a consistent basis.  Part time work that you keep quitting is not consistency.  

Answer 5

I think you already know the answer based on your own descriptions of her.

It is VERY difficult to take a child away from the mother. Basically, in order to prove her unfit you have to prove she's a felon, sleeping w/ a felon, on drugs, and/or abusive. If the courts allowed the fathers to take custody then they strongly believe that she's unfit.

If she was a good mother then, she'd still be a good mother now.  

Answer 6

yes it does, she's got some serious issues and I say do not believe her BS

Answer 7

Perhaps there was a documented episode of abuse or neglect? I suspect she isn't telling you the whole truth. Her instability and inability to financially support her children is a factor, I'm sure.  But the fact that both fathers (highly unusual) fought in court for custody and won,says that there is irrefutable evidence of her unsuitabilty as a mother.

Answer 8

I'd suggest you talk to the 2 fathers before even considering staying in a relationship with her.

Answer 9

well if she was a good parent the courts would have given custody to both parents... courts go by the best interest of the child and nothing else. if people lied, and the courts believed it and she isn't doing whatever she can do go back to court and prove her case, then it looks like they were not lyingat all, right.

I dont know a mother that wouldn'tight tooth and nail for their kids, and if she is doing nothing, then she obviously wants nothing.

You dont know her history, so its hard to know what the truth is...

If you dont want to support her financially and she dosnt want to work, then you know what you have to do...

If everywhere she goes, there is a pattern, a problem, then it shows that the problem is her, not everyone else

Answer 10

If i was in your shoes i would be worried.i would not get her pregnant if i was you! ok. in my opnion, i think that with out being able to work a steady job and keep an income... your unfit. this might make some one angry, but the sametimes it should only make you angry cause it is true or it is happening to you. the other thing i would consider, is how she does not get along with anyone of her collegues! that would worry me too. Not to mention... you cant lie that much to make someone look bad. the judge did his job right cause the fathers have the children... not someone who cant support them. (no job means not being responsible enough to care for them. EVEN if you have someone to help you. she is the mother... should you choose to leave her she would be on her own.)

Not wanting to pay child support... and they now have custody? i dont think that not wanting to payis the case. I have a son and have not seen a penny from his father, and i still am trying to get my share! I dont believe that story about the affair either! just think about it. If they fought her in court and got the kids... there is something wrong with her. not with the kids or the court system!

as a mother i know custody normally goes to the mother, unless she is unfit. I would look into it more. trust your instincts! good attorney or not... you get the kids as a woman. but not having a job could be the cause of the unfit mother clause.!

Answer 11

You are right...the court would have not denied her custody if she wasn't unfit...and there is no amount of "lies" that can be made up in order to keep her children away.  There is something she isn't telling you and you should get out now...before she screws you over too.

Answer 12

She's full of it.

In custody situations, they usually like to do the shared. A lot of judges believe that the mother should always get the kids before the father(if shared custody is not an option). They couldn't just go lie on her and get the kids, they would need a thing called proof before anything would be done. She's not wanting to own up to the fact that she can't support her kids. Crappy attorney or not, she obviously didn't deserve those kids.

Answer 13

Yes, I'm afraid this situation does sound very suspect. losing one child to one father could be because his lawyer was better and he lied, but losing two to two different fathers, sorry something in her story just isn't right at all. There are sadly deadbeat mom's too and not all women are born with a maternal instinct. Talk to the father's and I'll bet you'll believe their side and learn things you might not want to know about your girlfriend.  

Answer 14

if she cant keep a job she is not financially fit to take care of her kids. you dont know her that well to even try to get involved in something you dont know about, how do you know they was telling lies! obviously the judge didnt and she didnt loose cause of a bad lawyer. the family courts prefer children to be with their mothers, so for them to take them away from her obviously the situation is worst than what she is saying. u have seen for yourself girlie cant keep a job so what more do you need!

Answer 15

Well when i comes down to the court system they cant just take the children one day off of "he said she said that", when the system is involving children they have to follow rules and guidelines which involves a through invesitgation. The mother "defendent" in this case has to attend child parenting classes, she also has to attend counseling every week or less, and also maybe a random drug test. She's actually right as far as the cost of a lawyer, because if she is being accused of abuse, neglect, unfit mother then she would definatly need an experience family lawyer to help beat this serious type of case. You might want to sit down w/ her and have a heart to heart and dig out the truth especially if you are serious about her, you dont want to get caught up w/ her lies and end up having her 3rd child and going thru the same issues. this story sounds fishy to me, she may be living a double life son,  so my advice to you "wrap it up"...

Answer 16

There is no way on this Earth that a judge would take custody away from a biological mother is she were not unfit, especially if she HAD custody and them lost it. Sounds like you should run like the wind!