Does this sound good to you?

Question

Well I always wanted to be a chef. Yes A Chef :P

But I Love you write I have note books filled of stuff but I never show anyone so I don't know if it's good. Do you think this is good? Please I wrote this do not copy. ( If it's good enough to copy )

The air felt hot and sticky on my pale skin. For an October morning it was warm. I impatiently looked out the window. "15 more minute. Just 15 more and I can get out of this school and go for lunch" I looked down at my belly. Was it getting bigger? I couldn't tell do you think the other people would? I looked around the classroom. Then snapped my eyes back on the teacher. BRING! The bell ring. I dashed out the classroom before you can say lunch time. My friend Sarah chased after me. "Vanessa!" The short blonde said pushing through the people in the hallway.

There's More but I don't know if I really will write it all.

How can I improve it or is it even good?

Answer 1

It is a good start.  Your ideas are there and you do stir some interest.

The point of view of the character puts the reader right into the story.  I like how you start with the feeling of the air.  You could elaborate more on how the character feels and keep making reference back so the reader is reminded of the surroundings.  i.e. "A bead of sweat starts rolling down the middle of my back."  Establish your setting a bit better, it took me a while to figure out where you're sitting and what's the scenario.

The best way to develop a style of writing is to read different books by different authors.  Pay attention to their form of writing, their style.

Keep writing, have fun with it.  All good writers start somewhere.  Wishing you the best!

Answer 2

Sounds like you got some skill in writing!!!

Just needs a bit of punctuation and re wording, a little more description... But i can tell straight away you have what it takes to do great! :)