Does this story makes sense to you?

Question

I had a report to do and my teacher couldn't make sense of it. I think it was because of the first part, but it all ties together at the end... least I think it does.

The dull, off-white walls around me were calling out to me, crying, pleading for me to leave this place. As it were, I was bound by snakes that dared me to move any muscle of my body, so leaving was, sadly, out of the question. Occasionally they allowed me to stir, whether it be because they understood that I could sit still only for a little while, or because they tired of leaving me in a certain position, I do not know. That day, it was the footsteps echoing down the hall, becoming louder with every fall that sent my heart beating like the wings of a humming bird. Never before had any sign of life, other than the dwerks that teased me with their freedom, made its way to me before the scheduled war cry released by the fruns, but that day, someone came for me.

The all too familiar door that connected my realm to those humans’ realm disappeared and I screamed out in fear as I always do, praying that the door may revive itself and seal off those dreadful creatures. Only thing was, this being wasn’t like all the rest, I could tell by the look in her eyes. They were small, deep brown eyes, but that was not what gave her away. When her eyes met mine, they met them. For once she was looking at me, not through me or away from me, but she saw me. Slowly, I took in the rest of her features before she could disappear, like they always do. The height, which there wasn’t much of, was the first I noticed, then her fairly plump body and pale skin. Her hair matched her eyes and was cut just short of her broad shoulder blades and her smile was mystifying, one moment gentle, the other fake and full of loath, but not towards me I knew.

Sparks shot out through the air, we swam through the deepest trench, and it wasn’t until her small, pale lips, opened that a thousand questions caused me to have a concussion. The first was a highly original one, one of which deserves some sort of award for the creativity of it. “Who are you?” I asked before she could speak.

Her precious smile faltered before becoming nothing but hurt. “It’s me, Gertrude Stein, don’t you remember me, love? Born in Allegheny, Pennsylvania,” she waited and when I did not respond she continued. “Please now love, you must remember.” Again I remained silent and confused. “February 3, 1874, does that date mean nothing to you?” Guiltily I shook my head. “My birthday! Search into the depths of your memory!”

Answer 1

I didn't read, but there are places to upload stories online. You could try fictionpress.net or writerscafe.com.

Answer 2

well at first there are a few questions, but once you learn that she's on medication it all works better.

i really like your writing! good job, its a weird idea but its cool!

Answer 3

Wow, I think your writing is really great, but I am also a little confused.

Is this  a creative writing piece or a report? If it's an essay, it's a little strange, if it's an excerpt from a story it's very good. I was a little baffled when she was tied up by snakes and then all of a sudden she's swimming with this woman. You didn't represent any sign of her escaping. One minute she's a prisoner and then without warning free?

That needs a little work.

You have a really unique writing style I think which is very mysterious, I enjoyed going along with your story.

Oh wait a sec, you've seemed to have added more details...sorry I didn't get to read that part, perhaps it does make more sense at the end...