Does this stuff really work?

Question

I don't dig the idea of home schooling at all. I think it leads to the kid being socially retarded on some level. Maybe not to an extent that they're a freak once they hit reality, but I don't think it helps them. I went through the public school system until I hit 7th grade. In the years leading up to 7th, I dealt with over 100 people on a given day. I loved it. Then I got sent to a Catholic school where there were thirty kids in my class. It was heIIish. And to deal with almost no one but immediate family or a tutor all day? I think that's just not right. I guess there's a way to do it so your kid gets the right social stuff down, but it seems a lot harder to me. Also, wouldn't their concept of s*x by sort of skewed by yours if you gave them "the talk"? I got it from the public school system, and I have beliefs that are just about the opposite of my parent's as a result of being exposed to these new ideas. So what do you guys think?

Answer 1

We homeschool and one of the primary reasons is so that my kids live in the real world all day.  They're not locked in a closet, er, classroom all day.  We hit museums, restaurants, stores, libraries, movies, theater, exhibits, etc.  My kids write for a real purpose.  The math they do matters, not just filling out a worksheet.  They can soar ahead with whatever topic holds their interest.

Family, friends, relatives, neighbors, store employees all offer their own life experiences and personalities.  My kids interact daily with people of all ages, not just their agemates, and have friends across the ages as well.

Personally I think those who are conventionally schooled are stunted socially, treat adults like adversaries rather than interesting people, and have no clue about the real world outside of their little box (school).

I'd rather my kids get real information about s*x from me than misinformation from peers.

Answer 2

Haha....

Well, I don't think people who are homeschooled are socially retarded, but are hurt socially....

I fricken hate it dude....Seriously it fricken sucks....All your friends will leave you, because you never get to see them, dude I can't tell you enough!

If you're thinking about doing homeschool....Don't do it!

You'll regret it!

I will agree with some people that you should go against the mainstream world....I don't believe in s*x before marriage, just because I think that that ruins marriages....

But seriously dude, don't do it....

I could go on forever about reasons why you shouldn't do it, I could also give you a few reasons to do it (Few is the operative word, lol)

So if you would like to talk about this further, email me....

=)

Answer 3

With all the great answers to the bulk of your question, I'm only going to address one small part: "Also, wouldn't their concept of s*x by [sic] sort of skewed by yours if you gave them "the talk"? I got it from the public school system, and I have beliefs that are just about the opposite of my parent's [sic] as a result of being exposed to these new ideas."

Okay, you've got a few assumptions going on here. First, you assume that the parents have a 'skewed' view of s*x, that they would only address sexual education in the form of the (relatively non-educational) 'talk' and that the public school system has it right.

In the first place, many s*x ed programs throughout the country have bad methods of teaching and many even have factually incorrect information. Why? It's political. If it is controversial to talk about a particular form of birth control, it doesn't get talked about and if it is politically popular to discourage a particular behavior, many twist the facts to accomplish this goal. For G-d's sake, many programs still teach that you can get AIDS from kissing!

And in my case, even though I went to public school and had 'health' class (we didn't have s*x ed), I didn't learn anything my parents hadn't already taught me until high school when we learned how well the various forms of birth control were at preventing pregnancy...and, for the record, I didn't need the information and for those who did, it was *far* too late. For those kids' sakes, I hope their parents taught them what they needed to know.

So, I guess, if parents have issues with s*x, don't want to seriously talk to their kids in age-appropriate ways about the risks of pregnancy and diseases (as well as where babies come from), and they are in a school district that does not teach misinformation and teaches the various kinds of information involved at appropriate information (tricky, because each kid needs and is ready for the information at different times) and the teacher is good at conveying the information (again, tricky, since health class is usually taught by whoever chose the short straw), then yeah, maybe the school might be better.

But it really tells me something that you felt you got neither an education or an acceptable belief system from your parents regarding s*x. I hope other things in your relationship worked out better.

Answer 4

I think that you've just hit on a lot of the reasons that we homeschool.

For one thing, actual society is nothing like public school.  Public school, while it isn't wrong, isn't meant to prepare you for the "real world"; it's meant to offer an education to as many people as possible.

You function well in an atmosphere with a lot of people; that's great.  However, apparently you never realized that not everyone is like you.  Some people thrive in a smaller, more rigorous classroom, and others thrive in a one-on-one instruction environment, where they get more say over their studies and their time.  They get to study at their level, according to their interests, and they can spend the time that they need to on their various subjects.  They aren't restricted by the class lesson plans.

And I'm not sure where you get the idea that homeschool kids stay at home with immediate family all day; most homeschool kids are not at home any more than you are.  They are out at co op classes, lessons, volunteer opportunities, paying jobs, college classes, sports, field trips, play days, and taking part in events like theater and music.  They are out in actual society rather than sitting behind a desk all day.  

As for the talk...wow, that's just sad.  The fact that your parents have had so little influence on your life is just sad.  I personally don't feel that it's up to a complete stranger, who I will probably never meet, to educate my child about things like s*x.  We had the talk with our son when he was 8, and he is fine with asking us any questions that pop into his head.  He isn't forced to believe what we believe, but neither is he disgusted or scared about talking with us about it.  We're his parents - we're the ones he's supposed to be able to come to.  

I didn't become a parent so that I can completely hand my kid over to a system that I have no influence over, to expect others to raise him.  It's not a teacher's job to raise my child - which is a view that many teachers will back me up on - it's my job.  I don't have a problem with my son learning about ideas that are opposed to mine - he does so every day - but neither am I going to take a back seat in raising him.  He is my responsibility, and homeschooling is the environment in which he learns best.  It's not the most convenient for me, and it's certainly not easy, but you know what?  I didn't sign on for the parenting job in order to find "convenient" and "easy".  I feel sorry for anyone who did.

As for your question - yes, it works, and very well.  Homeschooled kids top the charts on test scores - several percentage points ahead of even private schools (they blow public school scores out of the water).  Colleges around the country enroll and even openly court homeschool students because their performance in college generally outshines that of the average non-homeschooled student.  Kids who are homeschooled commonly start college around age 16, and many graduate high school with an AA or better.  Homeschooled students are far more likely to be involved in community projects and local/state/federal politics; they are also more likely to be successful entrepreneurs.

I'm sorry that you can't see beyond your own experience; because they are exposed to ideas that exist out in society, many homeschooled kids can.  Yes, it works very well, in many ways.

Answer 5

i have gone to public school all my life and am a lot shyer than any of my home schooled friends. i am not very social because of public school. i had stuttering and lisp problems when i was younger and got ridiculed for it. therefore i pretty much stopped talking that much and was really shy. home schooled kids have more time on their hands so they can do a lot of other activities where they meet a lot of people. i personally would love to be home schooled. home schooled children are also quite smarter.

Answer 6

Wow. I'm sorry that the public school system has left you with such a closed mind.

As a graduating college senior who was home schooled until high school, let me tell you from experience that we turn out just fine. Most people are shocked when I tell them that I was home schooled most of my life. No one would ever guess because I am so “normal”.

Yes, I am introverted, but that was not from home schooling because my sister who was home schooled at the same time is extremely extroverted. However, I did not sit at home all day and twiddle my thumbs. I socialized with children in my neighborhood, other home schoolers, children at church, and in my sports program. I was able to volunteer, go on humanitarian trips to Mexico, and attend educational events.

However, not being forced to spend the majority of my day with the little hellians that often populate school playgrounds, allowed me to surpass my peers in several ways. I never learned the fleeting concerns of youth that led to many stabbed backs and broken hearts. I was taught respect, grace, and good manners, things rarely found in today's youth. I was also taught life skills that young people in public school are too busy obsessing over the opposite s*x to pay attention too. Many teens who go off to college do not know the first thing about managing finances, smart shopping, or car maintenance for instance and end up with a very sharp slap in the face from reality. Their parents were too busy unloading them to the public school system to take an interest in their general education on how to become a responsible adult.

I also perform better in my classes than my peers. I am often asked by teachers to help tutor other students because they are still struggling with the material long after I have mastered it. In high school I passed state exams with honors, and I am now graduating college a semester early and with high honors. Many of my friends who are on the same academic level were home schooled.

About “the talk”: I cannot believe that someone would rather have some strange public school teacher who is forced to teach on the subject, educate their children about s*x, rather than do it themselves. I also am outraged that you would think so little of a home schooled child that they could not, and would not, think for themselves on any matter, especially s*x. I assure you that home schooled children have the same, if not better, ability to think for themselves and decide their own values and beliefs. Actually, come to think of it, away from the pressure to fit in with pointless groups in public school, children are much more equipped to develop their own life philosophy and all that it entails.

The main reason that home schooled children excel is because they spend more time around adults than children. They are taught what is truly important in life and how to be a mature and responsible person unlike students in public school who spend their time obsessing about things like school jocks and celebrities (neither of which they usually ever have a real chance at forming any kind of relationship with).

You may be thinking that I too am closed minded, but my response comes from actual experience with who those in question, not secondhand rumors and blind assumptions.

Answer 7

I don't believe, when it comes to socialization, that quantity is better than quality. Some kids love school, but for others, it is a hellish experience. To each his own.

As for social retardation, you're confusing being homeschooled with staying home all the time. There is a big world outside of the school walls.

My kids are in a co-op with over 100 kids; they take classes taught by different people in lots of interesting topics-- engineering, art, science, puppetry (with a guy who actually worked on Sesame Street!). They have different teachers. They are involved in extra-curricular activities, such as lego club, library reading groups, sunday school, chess club, Yu-Gi-Oh tournaments, karate at the community center, etc.

We go on frequent field trips with our homeschool community, plus have weekly play group meetings at the park. We go on at least 4 camp-outs per year with big groups where they spend a couple of days running around in the sunshine with other kids.  They visit friends houses, and friends visit them. They go outside and ride their bikes or skateboard in the afternoon with other neighborhood kids, mostly when those kids get home from school.

As for s*x, this is not a taboo subject in our house. When it comes up, we discuss it in an age-appropriate manner and there is no shame or embarassment.

If you have never been homeschooled, you may not realize this, but it's not like being home from school for a few days, and it is not like you set up a mini-school house in your kitchen from 9 am to 2 pm where you play teacher and your kids take notes and raise their hands. It's a whole different set of activities and involvement, very interactive, very hands-on, very varied experiences.

Answer 8

First of all, I don't think you have a proper understanding of homeschooling nor psychology. Nor history, for that matter. You think people had social problems before schools came into being? Mass schooling hasn't been around all that long. People used to learn their social skills from their families and community, much like what most homeschoolers do today. Would you say that humanity spent thousands of years "just not right" because they spent most of their time with family? I would say today's modern setup of children spending practically no time with family is not right. Besides, many homeschoolers are very socially active. This is not "hard"--it's fun.

Are homeschoolers likely to be socially different? Yes. At least on some level. This doesn't make them "retards". In fact, I would say that the social skills level I've seen from long-term homeschoolers is more mature and far more reflective of adult behaviour than what I experienced growing up in public schools.

Second, I think your own personal views are clouded by your public school experience and by you thinking that that is the right way for things to be instead of recognizing that there are many ways to be and that what you find comfortable is the result of how you grew up. I don't know how you dealt with over 100 people each day--my classes only had 20-some kids in them until high school (class-size limit at the time was 25). We didn't do things with other classes most of the time and the people we played with at recess were usually from our class, with maybe another couple of kids from other classes that we knew.

Third, I think you have some sort of disdain for your parents and their beliefs and it's part of the reason why you prize your school education over being raised by them. You also seem to think that they wouldn't expose you to new ideas, which is a questionable thought indeed.

I would WANT my kids' concept of s*x to be "skewed" by mine instead of it matching what is presented in society. Are you trying to say that when you're a parent, you DON'T want your kids to share your values? I do NOT want my daughter to be on birth control when she's 14 (happens all the time here--age of consent is 14), nor to be pregnant or with an STD at 16 (a homeschooled girl I know has had 2 (public school) girls drop out of the sports training they are in and 1 has recently discovered she's got herpes). I grew up in public school and got the whole s*x education thing there, but no sort of values presented. My own values are actually opposite of what went on in school (which matched my mom's values). Instead of accepting school as right and mom as wrong, I actually thought things through and figured out what would be in my best interests, regardless of whether it was different from everybody else or not.

ADDED: Your actual question was, "Does this stuff really work?" Yes, it can really work. Does it work 100% of the time? No--completely depends on the family involved and how they go about it. But does any school work 100% of the time? Probably not.

Answer 9

Yup, this stuff - homeschooling - really does work. And there's a growing body of research to demonstrate it's effectiveness. I've put together some links on this page that you may find useful:

http://homeschoolaustralia.beverleypaine...

But it's not for everyone... not for all parents, all families, or all children. That's the good thing about home education - the choice factor. If it isn't working for you then there is always the option of school.

I've met families where one or more children homeschool while their siblings go to school. That happened in our family. Our children had real choice. Our eldest went to school not because it was compulsory but because she wanted to. That almost guarantees educational success - someone with that kind of motivation is bound to learn!

It's good to know that homeschool is an option for children who are having a hard time at school and need some kind of respite. I've met families who take a term or a year off school while their children recover from trauma. Sometimes it's because the child was bullied. At other times it's because the child has a medical issue that needs extra care and attention. Sometimes it's because the child is acting out, not coping with life at school and giving the teachers a hard time. There are lots of different reasons families decide to homeschool.

Sometimes homeschool doesn't work out for one reason or another and the children end up at school. In most cases they are often ahead in some areas and behind in others, but before long they've settled in... It's a lot like moving interstate and starting a new school.

Education is what you make it. Most homeschooled youngsters I know like being in control of their own education, especially when they get to the teenage years.

I went to a public school and enjoyed every minute of it. But I also recognise that a lot of what I know today my parents taught me while I was a school student. I homeschooled my children because my parents were interested and involved in my education and gave me the best start in life they could. I wanted to emulate that in the best way I knew how to - by teaching my children at home.

cheers

Beverley

http://homeschoolaustralia.com

Answer 10

I think that this perception of reality is quite unreal.  To consider calling tens of thousands of other people social retards at any level is astonishing.  I'd be willing to bet that someone in a Colosseum full of home-school graduates (and currently home-schooled people) would be ashamed to speak the things that are written here.

Believe me when I say that  I have met thousands of home-school families.  The children are very good at talking with people of all ages.  They really don't have any of the problems that the questioner has attributed to them.  

Graduates of home-schooling have proved themselves in the workplace, in college, the mission field, churches, the political arena, and many other areas of life.

So, if a kid grows up in public school we can be assured that they won't be skewed in their concept of s*x.... yikes now that's a novel idea..... har har.

My home-schooled children have grown into very fine adults.  They have hundreds of friends, great reputations, excellent grades in college and super jobs.  They are well adjusted and held in high esteem by the people that know them and by others that merely know who they are.

It doesn't take a group-school setting to qualify as "reality".  Life is reality --- we live in the real world every day.

Home schooling is definitely the right thing to do.

"The proof is in the pudding"

Answer 11

Wow!  you all put in some great answers.  I feel like printing them out to read to the kids at our co-op!

homeschooling is awesome!!!!!

  I loved every minute of my advanced learning in a loving atmosphere at my own rate,  I cant say enough good stuff about it.