Does volunteering mean putting work/duty over family?

Question

I work in the public sector and there is a great need for volunteers to work after disasters occur. This service would take me away from my family from a few weeks to a few months. I want to volunteer for this assignment but discussions of this issue have been difficult with my husband and children (11 and 9). I am trying to set up help for my family i.e. nanny/maid/cook to make life easier while I am gone. However, my husband is telling me that I am putting work/duty over family and my children are very worried that something terrible may happen to me.

I need some advice on how to get my husband and children to understand the importance of volunteering to me and to our society. Does volunteering mean putting work/duty over family? Does it mean that I am considering the value of my family any less? What can I say or do to inform my family of the importance of volunteering my services for the good of others?

Answer 1

You should stay with your family. You have answered this question 11 years ago, with your first born. A family without a mother is not a healthy one. There is already tension there. If you like to volunteer, do it in your own community, were your kids go to school, and your husband works?!......I put family above anything, to not be there for them is incomprehensible

Answer 2

I think instilling in your family a sense of helping your community and volunteer work, as well as charity, is really important.

That being said, a few weeks is a lot different than a few months.  I'll bet they wouldn't be so worried if you could tell them exactly when you will leave and come home. (tell the volunteer org. that you can only go for 3 weeks at a time)  The other problem is you don't want your children resenting volunteer work because it took their mom away all the time.

I think the best way to teach kids about charity and volunteering is to have them do it themselves, at small functions - soup kitchens, church functions, food banks, food drives, park clean ups, etc.

I don't think that leaving your young kids for that long is going to be conducive to your family relationships.

I am so appreciative of people like you that can give of themselves so much to help total strangers.  However, I hate to say that it does cause strain on some families.  What if you waited until they were teenagers, or, like I said, put a cap on how long you can be gone and how many times a year?

That is such a hard one - I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

Ordinarily, I'd think that they were whiners trying to keep you from having a meaningful life, but 2 months is too long to leave 9 & 11. A week or maybe 2, but anything more than that would be detrimental and lead to serious feelings of abandonment, imho. Is there a short-term trip you can take? If not, I recommend finding local opportunities to include the children in doing good.