Does your four-year-old tell lies?

Question

My four-year-old stepson has been making up lies and calling people "liars" when they expose him... is this typical of this age? I don't know where it's coming from. He is with us every weekend, but his mother says he has been doing it there during the week as well.

Answer 1

I am not alone I see. I believe at this age their imagination comes in full bloom and they kind of get telling lies confused with creativity. This is what I do I tell my son its not good to lie and that we have a hard time believing what he says. Luckily at this age they still look for approval from parents. Also try reading the story about the boy who cried wolf and use it as a learning experience. Good Luck,.

Answer 2

Yes it is very normal.

Answer 3

Haha, I'm not at that stage (my daughter being only almost 2) but she tells little fibs too already! Like (very embarrassing) saying loudly in the street that I *ahem* let wind when she knows I didn't! She just finds it funny!

I imagine a 4 yr old has that much more confidence and knowlegde of words but without the understanding of true lies.

I would guess it is harmless but a discussion on honesty and not telling the truth could be in order!

Answer 4

Four-year-olds lie for all kinds of innocent reasons.  At four they have huge evolving imaginations and can get those imaginary situations mixed with reality.  They also lie to get out of trouble.  At this stage, I would suggest making him not afraid to face-up to his wrongdoings by choosing constructive forms of discipline.   For example, writing on the wall.  If he confesses, ensure he understands why not to do it and share the cleaning task with him.

My kids didn't get into any real dire consequences for lying until they attempted after seven or eight.  But that was rare.

Answer 5

lol my four year old cant seem to tell the truth to save her life!  I've got two kids that are older than her and two younger, the older two did the same.  its pretty basic, she's exploring creativity, and using it to see what she can get away with.  basically testing her limits that she can get away with.    the other day, she told me (after picking her up from her father's house) that her dad hit her.  I bout freaked, and then let her finish the story.  she than went on to tell me the bear took her arm to wash dishes.  I just turn away and smile.  U just gotta take it all with a grain of truth.  LOL, write some of those crazy ones down.  It'll be a good story to tell her when she's a teen.

Answer 6

yes, it's typical.  However, by 4 they are able, with the correct explaination, to understand what a lie is, and how it is wrong.  I would work with his mother to develop a set, consistent consequence for lying.  Whether it be losing a special toy or a privelege is up to you.  I would not recommend a time out or spanking because those are more punishments than consequences.

Answer 7

four year olds don't have the capablities to "lie".  They don't know that what they make up is  "lie" and when HE is called a liar he is going to mimic that.  He has a vivid imagination and instead of calling him a liar you need to sit with him and have him explain what he is talking about.  Kid's at this age LOVE to tell stories, that doesn't equal being a liar.

Answer 8

I work in Daycare, and, in the summer camp, I have children that range from the age from pre kindergarten to going into seventh grade.  Yes, they do tend to do this at that age, and then get defensive when they are exposed.  It is at this age when they are learning the idea of responsibility and consequence for their actions, and it is a very hard one for some to adjust to.

My kids know that, if they get defensive or place the blame elsewhere, the consequence for their actions will be greater then before (besides being put in a time out, they will also loose privilege.  I have found taking away swimming pool time to be very effective).  But, I also do compliment them for the times they are honest, even when they did wrong, (but they still get the discipline), letting them know that, even though they made a wrong choice where there will be consequences, I was also proud of the fact that they owned up to it, and took the responsibility for their actions.  Amazingly, I have found that most kids seem to respond positively to this, and will try harder not to be deceitful in the future (I said "most" not all).