Doesn't any woman who gets pregnant need to accept the fact she might have to raise the kids alone?

Question

I see a lot of women on here who get pregnant by their boyfriends or whomever, and seem genuinely surprised that they man is not supportive, upset, and my not even want anything to do with the baby. And, unfortunately, sometimes they even have to jump through all the legal hoops just to squeeze some child support out of them (which I completely believe they deserve). But, I've always held the belief that if a woman chooses to have a baby, then she needs to accept the fact that she may at some point end up raising that kid alone. Even having a husband is never a guarantee (as I'm sure many of you divorced ladies know).

I was just wondering, do you think that's a good way to think and may save some poor women heart ache in the future, or do you think that's excessively paranoid?

Answer 1

I think both the father and mother should consider that the may have to raise a child by themselves.  People die.  Divorces happen.  Unmarried fathers take off.  I'd not want to have a child and not be married either unless the guy was such a total jerk that I didn't want him around me -- and then why would I have gotten pregnant in the first place.

I think everyone assumes the mother will always take care of the child, but women die in childbirth.  I had a good friend and we were just out of high school and she died in childbirth.  Her husband was left ith the responsiblity of a child.  So both fathers and mothers sould want a child enough to take responsibility for them in case something happens to the other.  Now for living parents, a child deserves support from each of them and if the non-custodial parent doesn't pay, I say put them in jail.  If don't pay aren't any use to the child or th mother so lock himup so he has instilled a sense that he wants to pay it.  I don't know why men are sometimes so bad about this, but sometimes weomen are too or figure that the man will have to support them if they have a cild.  

Having a child isn't about s*x or playing house so please use condoms if you don't ant a child.  Children should not have to suffer through parents who don't want them.  Too many grandparents are raising the grandkids today.  Shouldn't happen.

And a woman needs to get an education so she can care for herself and her children in case something happens to the husband -- divorce or death.  Plus a woman needs to be educated to care for the child and to teach the child as she is a great inflence on the child.  Brigham Young was asked whether he wold educate a daughter or son when he could educate just one. He said he'd educate a daughter as when you educate a son  you educate a man, but when  you educate a daughter you educate a family.    I agree that women should have skills to take care of themselves and their children if it proves necesssary and if married (maybe if not) they should also have insruance on spouse and self so the remaining one can rear the children too.

Answer 2

I think everyone should be prepared to raise a child alone (sorry for being morbid) BUT what if your partner dies, you would have to cope alone.

I was very lucky (and stupid) I fell pregnant in 9 weeks of seeing my new bloke, luckily he is one of the good guys who stood by me and 4 years on we are a happy family but i am very aware it could of been very different and i would of had to deal with that.

Personally i think mums AND dads need to accept the fact that they may need to raise their child alone, you never know what the future holds.

Answer 3

Even if you go into it thinking at some point there is a possibility that you will end up a single mother, it's not going to hurt any less when it actually  happens.

Answer 4

absolutely. i have been married for almost 7 years and when my husband started talking about wanting to have a baby that was one of my concerns. of course i think we'll be together forever but a child will bind us forever and there is no turning back after that.  he was somewhat hurt, thinking that i wasn't 100% committed to our relationship but that wasn't it at all. it's just that with a child it's definitely a lifetime tied to that other person, regardless of how involved they are.

people are often in denial about the state of their relationship and have an "it couldn't happen to me" type view of things. i have always been a realistic and logical person so the reality of  a divorce has always been something that i've been aware of and carefully considered.

Answer 5

I'm married and we're TTC our first child, but I too, am aware of the fact that I might end up raising a child alone. Life is so unpredictable. We could divorce, he could die, etc. You just never know what will happen.

Answer 6

Your sister is very smart, there are no guartentees in life.

Answer 7

I have a master plan should anything go wrong. I'm happily married, but hubby is 50 and a skydiver, so I realise that I might not have him around as long as most husbands anyway.