Doesn't it make more sense for us to get married before we go back to school?

Question

Okay here's my situation:

Just got engaged. My mom wants me to wait until I'm already in school to get married. I want to get married BEFORE school for the following reasons:

1. My fiance will recieve no financial aid if we go to school unmarried, because he will still have to report his families obese income. If we are married, he only has to report our income.

2. I don't want to have to think about planning my wedding when I'm trying to get acclimated to college

3. I only want to wait a year before getting married! I don't want to wait 2 years!

4. I have a whole year before I go back to school, a whole year where I'm just working and doing nothing special.. PERFECT time to plan a wedding

5. I'd like to start school married, so we can establish ourselves as such among our peers, meet other married college students, get married student housing, etc

My mom insists that it's best "not to rush into anything" even though I would be waiting a year anyways!

How do I make her understand?

Answer 1

Read all your points and thought hard on them.

WAIT. You shouldn't be marrying someone who is not on his own and independent - that's not a good start to a marriage.

So many things can happen at college, that it's better to give that a whirl first and see how things unfold with time.

Answer 2

Show her this list of points and have a discussion with your fiance present, provided he agrees with you.  Plan your wedding to take place the month before you start school so that you'll have time to honeymoon, then off to school as a married couple.  That gives you 11 months to plan things out...plenty of time!  Best of Luck

Answer 3

Firstly, you show her this list. It is actually very logical and I *RARELY* say that to young people wanting to get married. You have CLEARLY thought this through and know what is best for YOU.

If she doesn't agree after you sit down with her like an adult, then you just need to do whatever works for you. period.  

Answer 4

College is hard. Marriage is hard. Putting the two together increases the potential for problems. I'm with your mother on this one. I think you should wait. If your fiance's family has an "obese" income (your word), why does he need financial aid? He would only have to pay it off later.

Please think this through. If his parents will help him financially if he's unmarried, then you'll have less debt when you graduate. You'll start marriage on a much sounder financial basis, and be more mature.

I know it's hard to wait, but I've known many students who have waited until they have their degrees. They've dated 4 & 5 years and are thankful they waited. It's made the early years of marriage so much easier.

Answer 5

Sounds like you have already made up your mind that you both want to marry each other, so now or later is just a matter of time.   I say enjoy your engagement during your 1st year of school and then plan your wedding slowly.  I don't know why marriage is always rushed into, you can enjoy engagement period as well.   Being engaged is always so short and in some ways it keeps the romance going more than marriage does.   It is so much more romantic to say we are engaged then being a boring old married couple...trust me take this time to enjoy your new engagement and when you finally have had enough of the engagement period then consider planning your marriage.

Answer 6

if you are still in high school you should wait

reasons 1 - 5 are not good reasons to get married

Answer 7

why are you waiting a year before beginning university?

don't delay your life for a man!

Answer 8

You don't have to make her understand. You just tell her that we have decided that this is what is best for us. Tell her the date of the wedding and hopefully she will go along with it. I think once that she sees the two of you are serious about it she will have no choice but to go along. Everything you are saying sounds perfectly reasonable - just try telling her that again. I'm sure she will come around eventually...

Answer 9

I personally think you should wait until youre done college.

People go to college to find themselves, or are changed  when they graduate.

Why dont you just enjoy being engaged, bc what if you find someone else? I mean it happens ALLLL the time.!!!.

Moms ALWAYS know best!

Your fiance shouldn't have put that responsibility on you. If he cant figure out a way into college, how will he support you for the rest of your lives together?