Doesnt this annoy you?

Question

this really annoys me

so i am very depressed about something looking for comfort or for someone to feel sorry for me

and i tell my best friend everything that happend

and she says " ya this happens to me a lot, itll be fine"

even though i know it hasnt..

like then they try to explain when something like that happened to them..

and its not even comparable and not really that sad.

it just makes me feel like nobody understands what i am going through

idk its hard to explain. if somebody else understands what i am trying to say feel free to elaborate;

Answer 1

I know what you mean.  They're attention hogs and want the focus on them.  I mean, they're not bad people, and they are probably trying to make you feel better, but they want to do it in a way that puts the spotlight on them.  Very annoying, I agree.  Those type of friends are best to just shop with.

Answer 2

You`re not going to like this, but......You`ve got to stop feeling sorry for yourself. We`d all love a fairy to come along, comfort us, wave a magic wand, BUT LIFE'S NOT LIKE THAT. We all suffer mental torture and personal grief in life, but there is no easy answer and YOU must deal with it NOW! Enjoy shopping? Phone a chum, ( a jovial one ), and go out and buy a new skirt, blouse, outfit or whatever. Take in a film, a comedy, do things to get you out of this. Cook something or go for your favourite meal. Treat yourself, pamper yourself. SNAP OUT OF IT. Surround yourself with friends that make you laugh and join in, because if you don`t they`ll drift away, then your predicament gets even harder. You can and must do it.......NOW! Start enjoying life again. lt`s up to you. Go for it!

Answer 3

The problem is that you think people do not understand.  The fact that you think your friends problem "is not even comparable and not really that sad" just shows that you do not realize that people "feel" similar even when a situation seems different.

You cannot see the similarity because you are currently in the situation.  Your friend, however, remembers what it felt like to be in that situation and is trying to convey they understand (and empathize) with you.  Empathy is better than sympathy because sympathy is more consescending (ooh, poor poor pitiful you) whereas empathy means they KNOW what you are going throuh and are sharing it with you.

Comfort can only come to you when you come to terms with what brought on the bad feelings, no one can give you comfort or sympathy unless you realize that "this does happen often" and it doesn't only happen to you.

Answer 4

yes...At risk of sounding just like the others...I do know what you mean.

People are probably listening ( a bit) ...but the connections they make are strictly according to their own experiences....and  their experiences seem different to yours ( to you)

Generally people are very wound up in themselves...it is human nature...( big philosophical discussions possible here)..

However you need to learn to rely on yourself....or distract yourself....one good way could be helping someone more upset,  or less fortunate than yourself.  Everything is relative!

Answer 5

i get what you mean.. nobody is in your head so they dont get it