Don't I ,,poem for you ,plz read and be gentle ?

Question

Don’t I hold you?

Don’t you feel my arms around you

Every time I carry you to bed

And smooth your forehead with my palm

Don’t I hold you?

And wipe your tears

Take away your biggest sadness

And tiny fears

Don’t I hold you?

When you stumble

When your legs shake

And seek for the ground

Don’t I hold you

When you get sick

And your fever get so high

I give you water to drink

And sooth you to sleep

Or Sprinkle your sky

Don’t I hold you?

When you runaway from me

And tell me everything is over

And I just wish you the best in life,,

Then if I do all this and more

Why

Is it so hard for everyone to understand that my heart

Beat at your rhythm

Why

do everyone wants me to get over you

Its my fate, that I give you all this and just leave

The world to die

Answer 1

i think this is a sad poem but i think u are very talented :]

Answer 2

Thats really beautiful........though we feel very sad over the death of a loved one, life goes on and personally I believe that they are with us but in paradise. I have lost someone very dear to me - I nursed him 6 and a half years before he died in my arms. I often feel he is around me............Perhaps listen to the songs China Roses by Enya   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8XXcDUrd...

and To Where you Are  by G4  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FysnCm00B...

Answer 3

It is nice.

You must to try some more, if you do want rhyme be careful to have them all over your poem, till to the end.

Whatever hard it may be, a mother knows the answers for her children, sometimes during the time ...

Probably one day your child will be proud of mom's poems.

And would be extremely proud if you would fight all the way long even not for a better world for your son, but first of all for a loving soul and a great courage into your son.

If these may be of any help? I do not know, just you may try:

http://info.noelbatten.com/

http://www.powerofattitudemovie.com/

Good start in poetry !

Answer 4

I agree with Happy Hiram. Although I will say that you should definitely keep working on it.

Answer 5

Well i'm not sure who that was written for but its beautiful. You are very expressive.

Thanks - i enjoyed reading it :-)

Answer 6

i enjoyed your poem you have a artistic heart good luck

Answer 7

Since you don't want criticism, I will say nothing.

Answer 8

I think that it's good. I just got a little lost at the end. It might be the poem or it might be that I'm just slow. lol. It sounds like it's for your growing child. Like you've been holding them all their life and it's not being appreciated.