Don't I deserve to be happy?

Question

So this is the story...when I met john i was 17. We dated for about 6 months and then we broke up. The cause of the break up was a lot of different things all rolled into, we just lived too far away from each other. I was crushed that he broke up with me and went on to do his own thing. Eventually I got into another relationship was with the guy for 4 years then I married him. All the while I still never got over john. Things went on and on and I just couldn't stop thinking about him. Now a year after I have been married, I'm finding myself not being as happy as I could be. I've been seeing john again now for 2 months. I think I'm ready to leave my husband. I'm nervous, scarred, my mind is racing, and on top of it all I'm worried how my husband will take it. I really want to be with john and I don't think I will be happy unless I am. Am I crazy? I just can't see how I could just let this go.

Answer 1

I think you should leave your husband. He deserves someone who is devoted to him.  

Answer 2

I would say yes, you deserve to be happy but.... how could you!!???  How could you crush your husband's heart & soul by cheating on him like that!!??  I could say that "I don't mean to be harsh", but in reality, I very much mean to be harsh.  Please stop spitting all-over your marriage vows & at least respect your commitment long enough to get a divorce.  Do some research on exactly how "devastating" infidelity can be.  If you care about your husband at all, please take that into consideration.  I'm not trying to be rude or mean.... you just need to understand how hurtful what you are doing is.

Answer 3

Sorry, but I feel bad for your husband.  He didn't ask for this, and now you'll blindside him with this news....  poor guy.  You should never have married another man with such unresolved issues.

Answer 4

Hi Jennifer, In India we beleive in the theory that marriages are sacred, not to be broken so soon, you got married to someone, but you kept thinking of John, why...I think it is your fault, you got married but you yourself made your life complicated for you, you did not try to make the best of your marriage, Happiness is also a deep thing to understand, for a child one bread is nothing, it is dry the child does not want to eat it at all, so child is not happy. But another child is hungry, it gets a bread and it prays to God, Thank you God you have given me bread' and eats it happily, it drinks soome water if the bread is dry. So the second child is happy. Now happiness comes with contentment. You are not contented in your life, in first marriage you want to quit, in second (with John), also John may quit, so where it goes...

Answer 5

Dont ever take such a big strp in ur life because ur husband loves u from the time u know thats why u both are together if john really lovees he never had broken relation with u....if he can leave u once he can do again....and what about ur husband he doing everything for u....he needs u he loves u....forget john dont meet him u ll be happy. believe me

Answer 6

Funny thing is I know exactly how you are feeling.  My ex just came back into my life and truth be told I am still crazy in love with him. But from one miserable person to another. The man who married you loves you dearly. If John broke up with you one time, are you sure you want to leave your marriage for him. Weight the options. BUT! If you find yourself come close or passing the unfaithful line then call it quits! Don't hurt your husband more than you have too. He deserves the truth of the situation, both of you do. Good luck with your situation. When you got married and said "I do" you made a promise to be faithful and to love your Husband not John. Your husband deserves better than this from you. You deserve better than this from yourself. Take it from someone who is there. I woud say you need to disscuss this with your husband, tell him how you feel. See how things fly. Worked for me, could work for you to.

Answer 7

You choose your destiny like you chose to marry your husband.  

Answer 8

you should definatly leave. He's to good for you. You and John deserve each other. I hope you are proud of yourself.

Answer 9

I can relate a little bit. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 months (who was the man of my dreams) because he was off forfilling his dreams in a snowboarding travelling trip, i needed some more stability. I am now with someone new and it never quite has ever felt the same. I am still trying to move on from this ex and am finding it really hard to forget how we used to be. It has been a Year...

In your case I think that if you feel love for John that you should follow your heart, but are you breaking your husbands?

Honestly, if i had a second chance to be with my ex (who seemed perfect for me in every way and i was the happiest i had ever been) I would go for it. But that is just me. The difference is that you are married. I am not. Hope you make the right choice, just dont live your life unhappily.