Don't know if I should marry him or not? It's kind of a long story.?

Question

We have been together for 5 years and we have two boys and we live together. Why we haven't got married yet is beyond me. When we had our first child I found out he was cheating on me. I moved out and he begged me to back so we did. Things were great and I forgave him but I did not foget. So we had another child. And I looked on the phone bill one day and I found that he was talking to the girl that he cheated on me with. So we got into it and I moved out again. I waited 6 months to see if he was just going to with her or if he really wanted to be with me. He begged me back. I called the girl he cheated on me with and they hadn't talked or seen each other. I moved back in. We have been back together for 2 years and he bought me a ring. We are planning our wedding for oct 09. I feel thing are truly better and I feel he has made up for things in the past and he is a great dad. I forgave him when I got back with him and there really isn't a trust issue. And I really want to marry him but I can't get it out of the back of my mind that he might run out on his family again.I need advise please help.

Answer 1

Grow some balls and leave his cheating ***. Obviously it isn't real begging (or being sorry) if he's going to s***w around for a second time. There will be a 3rd and a 4th and so on if you stay with him.  

Answer 2

if you have to ask this Q than you do still have trust issues,remember fool you once sham on him,fool you twice sham on you!

Answer 3

Trust your guy Hollie.

He also has learned that if he screws up you'll take him back, you've taken him back twice now.  I don't think its "beyond you" why you haven't gotten married yet...you just said all the issues you two have.  You know exactly why he hasn't gotten married to you...you gave him everything you have to give, allowed him to have his flings and yet, here you still are. He got the milk without buying the cow.

Answer 4

From what I understand, you're taking him back out of obligations to your kids. Are you happy with him? I mean truly happy with him? if you are, then you shouldn't be predicting negativity towards your future with him.

I would suggest going to premarital counseling, just to let it all out. If doubts resurfaced, then it might be easy for the both of you to find out from there rather than after the wedded bliss where you might or might not be happy.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

How much more forgiveness do you have in your heart? You will be needing all of it if you marry him. Trust your instincts.

Answer 6

He did it twice he definitely will do it again.  If you want to stay with him then fine but do not marry him.  He will be unfaithful over and over again.  Who knows maybe he is already and you don't know about it.  I would not completely trust him ever again.

Answer 7

if you question it, than you shouldnt.

wait some more.  

Answer 8

think about it,

if he does call the same s***k up again, he knows all he has to do is apologize, in your words' beg you to come back' and you will, he also knows that you are waiting for his apology, seeing that you waited 6 months the last time.

honestly, i think it will be only a matter of time before he strays again, and probably with the same girl.

Im not trying to be a rude, biyotch, im speaking what i see.

ive been there.

and sweetie, just because you call her up and she states that they havent spoken, dont take her word for it.

she KNOWS, and has always known, that he had you at home, she's okay with that. as long as she gets hers too.

there are women like that.

total disgrace.

but its true.

stop allowing your children to see their father treat their mother the way he's treating you.

and please dont have anymore children by this man.

seriously, it will later lead you to being a single mother with more than 2 kids, it appears as though you continue to go back BECAUSE you have children together,

true, i believe that a child should have his mother and father in the same household.

but its not okay for the man to continuously cheat, and thats what your does, he cheats, and it only cauases you heartache,

so in answer to your question, if you are prepared to routinely have him cheat on you, you move out, wait a while, then come back home, sure then marry him.

thats his routine,

but you need to break it.

dont allow him to treat you like that, its not fair.

Answer 9

He is going to continue cheating on you. He knows you are not going to leave him for a long period of time. When you leave all he has to do is beg for forgiveness and you take him back. You should have stayed gone the first time. Don't waste anymore time with this cheater and don't have anymore children with him. If he can cheat on you while you're his girlfriend what makes you think he will stop once you two get married? He's not.

Answer 10

I wonder if you can see how these two statements of yours make absolutely no sense together:

"there really isn't a trust issue"

and

"he might run out on his family again"

Well, apparently, there IS a trust issue.  If you think he might run out on you, you don't trust him.  What I can't figure out is why you would trust him.  He already cheated on you twice.  It seems to me like marrying this guy has more to do with wishful thinking than with reality.

Answer 11

Trust IS an issue or you wouldn't be here asking this question. PLEASE hear me when I say it is a lot easier (not to mention less expensive) to leave someone when you aren't married to them.   He has cheated on you with the same girl twice.  Can you HONESTLY tell yourself that you believe he will NEVER do it again?   The kids need stability in their lives.  If you are constantly wondering whether he will leave again, that will affect your relationship with your children because you will constantly be on edge.  

Answer 12

I'm not even going to bother reading your paragraph.  All I read is your question "Don't know if I should marry him or not?  It's kind of a long story?" And I didn't go one word beyond that.

If you're questioning whether or not you should marry someone, don't do it.  Marriage is a huge, giant commitment, and it's one to be made for life.  Just because half the population falls into the trend of divorce doesn't mean you should follow them.  Stay single until you are 100% sure you want to commit to this certain someone.  Trust me.

Good luck.

Answer 13

Sorry, but if you are asking a bunch of strangers if you should marry your boyfriend then you obviously know that you shouldn't. He has already cheated on you twice that you know of, what is to stop him from cheating again?  

Answer 14

Are you happy? check that one and it will be fine. To be straight up honest he is not a faithful guy and will continue to do what he is doing unless something changes... like counseling maybe. You have not changed anything and for that reason you will get the same results... ie cheating. Ask yourself if that is something that you can deal with for the rest of your life. If it is then good luck to you, if not then get him the counseling that he needs to sort himself out.

Answer 15

If you have an ounce of doubt, don't do it.  Marriage won't make you trust him.  You already said you don't.  Not a good foundation.