Don't know what else to do with my fiancee.. Help anyone..?

Question

So i've been with my fiancee for just over 2 years. We're supose to be gettin married next April but i don't live where he does yet cause i have to finish college and i'm planning to move very soon. A month ago though i found out he cheated on me, he didnt sleep with the girl but they got close and all that and i found out, decided to forgive him for the sake of the 2 yr relationship and believed when he says he doesn't care about her. I confronted her and i was nice to her yet she started **** so me and her are arguing and he just isn't doing anything or defending me in anything, he's just letting it go. And when i tell him i just don't feel loved by him like i did he doesn't understands why and blames it o nthe fact of me not being there [the me not feeling loved and him cheating] although he knows im trying my best to move there.

What do i do? i 've tried to talk to him but he's so stubborn

Answer 1

he tryin 2 make u feel like the bad guy st move on cause this is a sign

Answer 2

It sounds as if you guys need to wait to see what happens; marriage may not be the path you should take.  Get on with your life and date other people, work hard in school, and make a good life.  If he's the right person for you, it will happen.  You shouldn't have to fight another girl for him or have a stressful relationship with him now; if you do, think what marriage to him will be like.

Answer 3

I have found that some people, especially men, when they feel they are being attacked they have a strange defense mechanism. Instead of apologizing and showing remorse for what they have done, they turn the situation around and put you to blame. Instead of apologizing for being an idiot, they make it seem like you did something wrong so that you feel bad and being to apologize, rather than keep arguing and yelling at him. He figures that if he can make you feel bad enough that you won't yell at him anymore and instead will apologize(even though you didn't do anything) and he will "forgive" you and the fight will be over. Does this make sense? I hope so! I wish you good luck! Don't let a guy ever make you feel bad, especially when you have done nothing wrong!

Answer 4

He's blaming YOU because he cheated?  Or was about to cheat, anyway.  That's a low-life scum, in my book.

Listen, honey, there are going to be periods in your marriage when you may not be physically available for him, sexually speaking.  Say, when you're pregnant, you may find s*x uncomfortable or unappealing.  After delivery, you can't have s*x for several weeks and even after the doctor says it's okay, it may be a while before your body is really ready.  So what's he going to do then?  Find himself a girlfriend or two or three because you weren't servicing him and he got lonely?

What if you get sent out of town on a business trip that lasts a couple of weeks - or maybe longer?  

Fact of the matter is, this man isn't committed to you or your relationship.  Right now, he isn't committed to anything or anyone except himself.  This isn't going to change between now and April.  If you move there anyway, the only thing that will change is your address.  And this other woman is still in the picture, and he still isn't telling her to stay out of his life, and he still isn't standing up for what is right.

You want to spend your entire married life having to worry about whether or not he's happy and he's fulfilled and he's satisfied, because he's going to cheat the minute he thinks you aren't giving enough to the relationship?

Answer 5

Commitment doesn't come from the engagement rings or the wedding vows you say to each other.  Any fool can say he loves you enough to marry you, or even go through all the motions of a wedding ceremony.  True commitment is being willing to make the effort through the tough times to work on your relationship.  It comes from knowing yourself and your relationship and believing that nothing would be worth giving up on your relationship.  If all it takes is you not being there for him to get involved with someone else, then he doesn't have that level of commitment towards you.  How can you guys possibly be thinking of making that commitment to be there for each other come what may in 30 years from now, if you can't even make that commitment for today?    There are going to be tough periods to deal with in any marriage.  His proposal and talk of wanting to marry you is all just empty words if he can't back it up with his actions.  It just makes no sense at all to be engaged, let alone go through the motions of a wedding, when he's clearly not serious about sticking by you.

Answer 6

Sounds like you really just need to end it. Yeah, you have been together for two years but count it for what it's worth and cut the tie. A long distance relationships is hard enough. Sounds like he may not be as committed to the relationship as you are. If things are meant to be of you two being together, then it will happen latter in life if you still decide to move there because you want to not for him. Finish your college because men can come and go but you always need to work and having a degree that you can work with is priceless. Stay focused on yourself and what is better for you. It may hurt for a little while when you break up but you do get over it, and school will keep you busy enough to not think about it all the time.

Answer 7

1. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for their cheating.

2. It is easy to attach to children. They are wonderful but it is no reason to stay with a man that won't defend his woman or be a man and do what it takes to right the wrong.

3. Ultimately if the I Love You doesn't feel the same guess what it's over and that is okay. Everything has a shelf life some things last and some aren't meant to.

    Just breathe, keep as busy as you can, focus on school, and your daughter. You will be ok.

Answer 8

get out now... don't stain your life with a divorce.  if you keep on with this relationship, he'll keep on with the cheating.  he fooled you once, that's his mistake.  if he fools you again, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

Answer 9

I am sorry to say this, but don't marry himm.. He should be begging on his knees for you to forgive him, and doing everything in his ability to make you happy, instead he is blaming you? Doesn't sound right to me at all.  Its hard to break off a two year relationship, and even harder to break off an engagement, but imagine how its going to be 5 or 10 years from now?  What if he cheats on you again? You will regret not breaking this off.