Don't know what to do. Advice please on teaching a preschooler how to act in certain situations?

Question

I am having to take care of my stepson (his father is mainly at work). Apparently his mother hasn't taught him how to behave in certain social/public situations so he really stands out in the way he acts sometimes. He starts school so I feel it's somewhat important he learns this, so how do I teach him?

To raise his hand quietly? (i.e. when volunteering, not saying me, me, pick me!)

To not cry if he doesn't get his way and isn't "picked" to answer or be the helper at certain presentations?

To stay seated rather than getting up to come tell me something?

To raise his hand and just say whatever he wants to say without being called on?

He's bright academically for his age but just hasn't been taught how he can't always have his way, how to act properly in certain situations, etc.

What can I do at home to prepare him better for these situations? (I.e. School!!) (And not embarrass me because he's the only one not acting properly when all the other kids seem to know better?)

Answer 1

Why are you so worried that your step sone is going to ebmarass YOU?  This isn't about YOU it is about the child.  Goodness you are pretty self centered aren't you?  By the way everything you have been questioned will be taught in preschool.  They expect preschoolers to ACT like preschoolers they don't expect them to be mineature adults which they are NOT.  I suggest you go to the library and pick up a few books on raising children especially toddler/prescchool/elementary aged children becuase YOU are only interested in how the child's behavior reflects upon you...you need to get over yourself.

Answer 2

You can teach him by making it fun and like a game. Don't don't it when he's having a hard time or when he's tired. Get little star stickers out and reward him for everytime he follows direction.

Answer 3

Practice these things with him.  We can not expect kids to do things they have not been trained to do.  He has probably already been  trained to act the way he is because it get's him his way.  You have to set up situations with rewards and discipline ready to go.  Then practice with him.  It can be fun and he will be grateful when he get's complimented at school.

Answer 4

Play school and MAKE IT FUN!!  You can be teacher for a little while and then HE gets to be teacher.  Get him enrolled in a preschool or a group activity.  He will quickly learn.  Not all kids are trained to raise their hands before school starts.  I think he will do just fine!

Answer 5

Kindergarten will teach him to stay in his seat and raise his hand, until they hit kindergarten most kids don't understand that because it isn't something you really do anywhere but at school.  Children aren't expected to raise their hands when they want something at home or when out some place, only at school or in school based environments.  Now not crying when he doesn't get his way is something that some children just take longer to learn but by the end of kindergarten they learn, it isn't always about how he is being handle at home some kids just take longer to mature to that.  Make sure not to overstep your bounds as a stepmom because while yes you can work with him if you try to step on the mothers toes so to speak you will end up regretting it because you aren't his mom.  Children get up to tell us stuff at home there is no reason for a child to have to sit quietly raising his hand at home just because he needs something, they should come to you and let you know what they need or what they want to say not have to wait until you may notice them.  That is again stuff required at school not at home.  Bascially everything you are expecting is stuff expected at school and that is where it should remain.  You home is your home and he should be free to be a kid at home and shouldn't have to be in a school situation 24/7.  It also doesn't help to compare children either because all children are different.  The children that are already in school have already started learning about the rules but your stepson if he isn't in kindergarten yet hasn't had the chance so he wouldn't be on the same level as them.  

I recommend a book called Incredible Years and also you may want to check out books on proper step-parenting without stepping on the real parents toes.