Don't know what to feel? We were right weren't we?

Question

Today me and my boss called out the vet for her oldest mare Sienna, who has been sick for the past week or so while they have been on vacation and i've been taking care of Sienna and all of her other animals. Well she can't drink or eat, and hasn't been able to for the past week[She's an older horse-well about 29!and they think she has EPM], so we called her regular vet out to look at her and today when I got out there Sienna was laying down. She made no attempt to get up or anything,just layed in her stall, so the vet I think gave her a shot for pain and then all three of us tried to get her up. She wouldn't. She didn't seem to want to. Well after many attempts of trying to get her up, the vet asked my boss if she thought putting her down would be the best thing. My boss said yes, the vet asked me[which was weird, i'm only 15!] and I said "it's the only way to help her". So she got the shots for it, and so we sat by her while the vet did it. And of course me and my boss cried. Well after this I just feel like crying and keep thinking that I could of done something for her earlier in the week to help her. Why did she have to be put down?!? We said it was the best thing for her. We were right to put her down weren't we?

Answer 1

I think your horse had a serious life or death problem, and was probably dying long before you had her put down.  A horse that will not get up, even when given pain killers and assisted by three people is critically ill.  If she had been a young horse you might have been able to find the cause for her problem, and helped her recover.  Maybe.  But even with a young horse the chances of recovery with a horse this sick would be low.

But an old horse at this critical stage was almost positively beyond help of any sort.  If you hadn't put her down she would likely have died within the next 48 hours.  

The vet must have agreed with this.  Otherwise he would have had all sorts of medical recommendations.

When I had my old Pug dog put down, the very first thing I thought after she got the shot was "I changed my mind!"  I really felt horrible for weeks and weeks and weeks, like I had done the wrong thing.  I wanted her back.  I really cried and grieved for her, she was like one of my children.

Now that time has passed I can look back and see that I did the right thing.  In fact, I kept my dog alive longer than I should have, because I loved her and wanted her around.  But her quality of life had been bad for several months, she had lost weight, she was cold and shivering, she walked poorly, she was blind, she had problems moving around.  Yes, it sounds ridiculous now to say that I shouldn't have put her down, but she was my pet and I loved her.

Love makes it hard to have something go.

I think you and your boss made this choice for the poor old horse out of love.  You did the right thing.  But love makes it hurt.

Take care and God bless.  You probably won't feel magically better no matter what anyone writes.  It takes time to get over loss.

Answer 2

Yes, you have done and said the right things for this horse, Sienna.

The vet wouldn't have given the shots if he thought other wise.  Don't despair, she has gone on to greener pastures where she can now run play and live without pain and suffering.

She had the people who love her with her when she passed and that is wonderful.  She knew she wasn't alone.  You and your boss where there for her.  

It's hard to make decisions like this one, but it is part of life to know when to let go.

Isn't it wonderful that she waited until her owner got back?  I think she knew it was o.k. to go on home.

Answer 3

As much as i would hate to put the horse down, i think you did the right thing. the two professionals both agreed and that poor mare was in a lot of pain. Putting her out of her misery would be whats best for her

don't go blaming yourself. Its not your fault she got sick, and you got the vet when you noticed something was wrong.

I'm SO sorry

Answer 4

I'm so sorry about her having to be put to sleep, but yes, you were right. It sounds like she was going downhill quickly, and it was for the best. 29 is a very good age, and not drinking or eating probably meant she knew she was dying and was ready to.

You couldn't have done anything, and neither could the vet really. All that could have possibly been done was given her food and fluid in a not pleasant way, which would have only prolonged her suffering.

When horses get that old, everything gets hard for them, and they do just start to deteriorate eventually. Eventually, this is something that does need to be done.

She wasn't in pain, and if not done then she most likely would have died soon anyway, since she wasn't eating.

You all made the right decision, and you sound like an incredibly mature 15 year old if you knew that it was the right decision. Many young people would try to keep her alive, but death is a part of life, and well done for understanding that. Hope everyone that knew Sienna, horses and humans, are okay after her passing.

Answer 5

It is normal to wonder "if" you had only done something different...

Esp. with an elderly horse you need to listen to her - her actions told you it was her time to go.

- THANK YOU for listening to her!!!

  Letting her go was the final GIFT you could give her!!

But it still sucks for those left behind.

I am in line to give you a huge hug too.

  

Answer 6

Bless your heart. Sometimes the hardest thing we have to do is let them go. But yes, you did the right thing. I am much older than you, and every time I lose one of my animals, it hits me very, very hard. This summer the horse you see in my avatar foundered. He is very special to me, and I delivered him when he was born. The vet gave him bute and it almost shut down his kidneys. He spent eight days in the Equine hospital and they gave him a 50/50 chance. After he came home he had a relapse. The farrier recommended that the vet come back out and take more xrays because he thought he was sinking. The next day the vet came out and prepared me for the worst.

But the xrays showed that he was growing new hooves. He is still confined to a small paddock, and his diet is carefully planned. I know how I felt, and it was like someone punched me in the gut. Sweetheart, you did the right thing. If she had not eaten in a week, you surely helped her go to the rainbow bridge, and avoided her further suffering. I wish I could give you a big hug right now.

Answer 7

You and your boss made the right decision.  When a horse can't look forward to anything but pain and struggling, it's time to help the horse pass on, which is what you did.  I'm sorry for your sadness...it isn't an easy thing to go through.

Answer 8

You did the right thing.  Her body was probably shutting down anyway, so you just sped that process up and spared her some pain.  It's never an easy thing to do, even when it's expected and you think you're prepared for it.  It's also something that's very easy to second guess your decision about.  The way you're feeling is totally normal.

Answer 9

of course you did the right thing. she wouldve been in pain and suffering if you hadnt sent her to horsey heaven. although its not the easiest thing to do it usually is the right choice for the animals sake. so sorry for your loss.

Answer 10

I am very sorry for your loss.  But you did the right thing, even if it doesn't feel like it now.  I had to put my dog to sleep 2 weeks before Christmas this past year (He loved opening presents).  He was more like a best friend.  Part of the grieving process are those thoughts of the "what ifs" and "If I had done that".  I felt the same way as you.  The vet said my dog only had a 10% chance to live if he got surgery since he was old. I miss him so much still.

You know that now Sienna is running above the clouds without any pain.  Those are the images that will help you heal.  In a while your sad tears will fade and you will remember the great times you had with her.  In that sense she is not gone but in your heart forever.  

Answer 11

It was definitely the right thing to do. Be blessed for this decision. At age 29 a horse is at it's end of it's lifespan, and your horses behavior during her last week was normal. A horse like some humans knows when the time to go has come, and the refusal of food and getting up is like giving up, ending her suffering was the most humane decision you and your boss could have made.

I'm really sorry for your loss  

Answer 12

Of course you were right to put her down. Better she go painlessly.