Don't really like my BF kid.?

Question

My best friend of 12 years is coming over again tomorrow. Which is great I love her, the poblem is I am not huge on her little boy, who is the same age as my daughter. First, she lets him run all through my house with his shoes on (she leaves hers on half the time too) He is really aggressive. Hits the dog, bangs toys into my furniture. Teases my daughter all the time. (takes her toys and holds them over her head so she can't get them---hits the toys she holding with another toy) Has anyone been in this situation? I find it so hard to say anything to her, like I may be hurting her feelings.

Answer 1

I feel you! I had my couches cleaned (they are cream) and this lady let her kids rub her shoes into them!!! UGH They haven't been back over but I did ask everyone to leave shoes at the door, its your house your rules.

So first: Place all of your shoes by the door where they walk in, the politely ask the boy *get down to his level on squating* " Can you please take your shoes off before we go play in the house and help him. She will get the hint and follow if she doesn't joke with her " That means you to mommy *wink*"

This is only if they don't notice all of your shoes by the door. They should see it and take them off.

2nd: Put your dog outside or in a safe place, if you don't want to do that show the boy how to pet the dog correctly and say " Aw he's a sweet dog so you have to pet him soft okay"

3rd: When he is over and can't behave with toys, make it a point to have "room play" explaining the toys are to stay in the play room while they are being played with. If there is not play room, tell him not to bang toys around because it could hurt the dogs ears nicely.

4th: The famous toy problem, what you can do, if they are fighting over a toy simply place each toy they can't behave with in your room or somewhere they can't get them after the problem and explain to them that if they can not play nice together those toys will not be there to play with.

You notice I am telling YOU to do everything, thats because its a simple easy way of "Setting rules" without confronting the parent, as you are doing this the mother should step in on her own being a friend and noticing what is happening is making you uncomfortable.

I have playdates a lot and this is a simple way of speaking up without demeaning or having to really "talk" to the parent. If she doesn't get it and nothing changes I would suggest then talking to her about what rules are set in your house and you love having them over but they have to be followed. If she can't handle this then Im sorry to say she might not be the best friend to have, its all about respect you wouldnt let your child do these things in her home.

I hope this helps!  

Answer 2

You need to talk to your friend, and tell her how you feel!!! I have this same problem with my niece... she is an only child, and when she comes over to play with my 3 children, all h**l breaks loose. I ended up having to talk to her mom to get her to behave when she is here, or not come at all!!!

Answer 3

"First, she lets him run all through my house with his shoes on (she leaves hers on half the time too) "

What's up with that ???

Most people wear shoes indoors as well as outdoors. And as for "banging toys into furniture" - do you live in a museum or a home?

Lighten up or you will drive yourself into the nuthouse.

Answer 4

Yes I have, and I pretty much will say something to her as long as her kid keeps pissing me off. Then again I am pretty straight forward to the point with all of my friends. They know that about me.  

Answer 5

Get over it saddakt

Answer 6

quit being anal. You will be that mom every kids hates in the future