Don't want her as a bridesmaid?

Question

I have a good friend who cannot wait for me to marry so she can be a bridesmaid at my wedding. She keeps telling me and I just ignore her partly because I am not getting married anytime soon. And besides when I do get married I know exactly who will it will be. Any advice on how to handle this one?

Answer 1

Since you are not getting married anytime soon there is no need to confront the issue.  Let her talk and you can continue to ignore her remarks.  When you are thinking about getting married and this issue comes up again you will then have to tell her that you have someone else in mind but there is no need to bring this up now, unless you want to have that talk with her now.

Answer 2

I truly wouldn't worry about this until you do have plans to get married.  Please think about some other responsibility you can share with this "good friend" for your future wedding if she's not going to be a bridesmaid.

Answer 3

Why don't you want her if she is a good friend?

Answer 4

First, since you're not getting married anytime soon, don't sweat it. You'll know who you want to ask to be bridesmaids when the time comes.

Second, if she keeps telling you, just laugh it off and say, "Oh, I've decided that IF I ever get married, I'll elope -- hahahahahaha!!"

Third, if the time comes to be asking friends to be in your wedding and she's still a friend but you don't want her to be a b'maid, then consider asking her to do something at your wedding, like lighting the candles or manning the guest book.  But ask her this only after you've secured your bridesmaids so if she asks about that, you can say, "Oh, I have all the b'maids taken care of, thank you... I really need and want you to do X for me. It would mean so much to me to have you do X."  

Hope that's helpful! :-)

Answer 5

There is no need to handle anything if you are not thinking of getting married anytime soon.

Answer 6

This is one of the reasons I did not have a Wedding Party.  Who wants to choose which friends are in the wedding and which friends aren't.  Who wants to hear people complain about the dress they have to wear.  Who they are walking down the aisle with.  OMG....who wants all that drama.  I had a MOH and a Best Man.  Done...no complaining, we had a great time and nobody's feelings got hurt.  It was a great day!

Answer 7

You could just tell her that you feel obligated to ask this other person to be your bridesmaid but that you'd love to have her help with something else.  Find something she can't mess up and give her charge of that.  I had a roomate from college that had a friend she'd known since childhood that bugged the c**p out of her, she told me she felt she had to ask her to be a bridesmaid.  She said she wanted to ask me to be one but just couldn't have one more, and I lived farther away.  (I totally understood)  But she asked me to do her hair and her nails for the big day, I was thrilled to be a help.  Plus she invited me to the girls night for her and the bridesmaides she had.  

But like the other person said, you don't have to worry about this for awhile... so don't! :-)

Answer 8

You might change your mind when you are getting ready to get married. You might even regret picking the people that you do. I do.

Answer 9

She shouldn't assume she'll be a part of the wedding, but by doing so, it shows that she puts more stock in the friendship than you do. If you don't want her to be a part of your wedding, don't ask her to be a part of it. Expect hurt feelings, though, so unless you have a good reason to exclude her, I would think twice.