Don't you just hate self-righteous people?

Question

My 3 year old daughter who is a little chubby around the middle but not enough to make me concerned - I mean I've seen fat kids, my daughter is quite average plus she's very short - she eats a healthy varied diet, not a fussy eater, and walks everywhere - her choice. 10-15 minute walk to school and back everyday, we go out walkabout quite a lot, she is very active. Yesterday out of the blue my sister had a go at me cos she noticed how my daughter was sweating while running around at a party - it was also the hottest day of the year that day and gave me a lecture in her condescending tone basically saying my daughter is fat. I was so taken aback that I just left but inside I was quite hurt - there is so much I could say about the way she raises her daughter but who am I to judge?

Answer 1

I think "hate" is  a harsh word.My little one is a big boy too and every once in a while someone makes a strange comment,in regard to his weight/build.Its important you realise that just because someone says 'so and so' about the way you are raising your kid ,it doesn't mean that you are.You know shes active and healthy and thats all that matters.Sometimes we need to stand up for ourselves.You say she "had a go" at you? Without yelling back at her, you can make it clear to her that although you appreciate her concern,there is nothing to worry about.Shes a healthy happy child and thats all that matters.Theres really no need to ask her about how she raises her child(it'll just make matters worse,and anyway ,you know what she said wasn't true) but do clear it with her that you are a good mother and are looking after her well.take care.

Answer 2

Your feelings should not be hurt by your sister telling you what she thinks of your daughter's physical appearance.

Just take it as an honest opinion.

Be glad your sister doesn't lie to you about your daughter's appearance like most people will.

Answer 3

Are you sure you're not just blind where your daughters concerned? Alot of parents are.

Parents think that their young children are fine, then go to the Doctors only to be told that their children are actually obese. Obese children don't look like obese teenagers or adults do - they look like theyre just slightly chubby, when in reality their body is under massive strain.

Go to your Doctor, make sure your little girl is fine, and then tell your sister that she was wrong and rub her nose in it.

Answer 4

SISTERS.  ignore her, you know that you're raising your daughter right and you know that she is healthy and happy- thats all that matters.

just forget about what your sister said for now, but if she comments again, just say that you dont need that sort of critisism. good luck!

Answer 5

well i hate to tell her bu tmy sister is a fitness instructor and her 2 boys 8 and 9 have always sweated while outside in the heat. my daughter is not fat at all and may possibl ybe underweight and she sweats. kylies father sweats alot and so does my bro in law. its all in the genes. yes some people who are over weight sweat more than others. i dont sweat often and i am 208 pounds and stand 5'3'' tall. she needs to think about the accuracy of her sttements before she peaks

Answer 6

People like that are horrible and the reason so many young girls and even boys have eating disorders and selfesteem issues now.  That is just pathetic.  People sweat, it is the bodies way of removing toxins and cleaning the body out.  It is when a person doesn't sweat at all that you really have to worry.  The average person will sweat during a good workout.  Your sister needs to seriously learn to stop being such a b****.  I know my oldest son is going to be 6 and he is bigger too but very active and eats mostly veggies but i still get some stupid comments sometimes about how he must only eat junk because he is fat....the Dr says he is perfect weight for his height, i would just tell your sister the day she becomes a pediatrician she can tell you if your daughter is overweight or not.  People judge others that just seems to be what they do, it is like they don't have enough stuff in their own life to focus on so they have to sit around judging everyone else.

Answer 7

To answer your opening question: YES.

Next time your sister brings up her "concern," tell her to keep her unsolicited opinions to herself.  Your daughter sees a pediatrician, and unless she (your sis) mysteriously picked up a medical degree, you're not interested in her opinion.

Yikes.  Cardinal rule number one: You never tell someone else how to parent.  Obviously, your sis missed the memo.

Tara :)

Answer 8

If you were to come back at her with her "parenting skills" it would just make her feel as hurt as you are.  You could just tell her that she hurt your feelings and then move on.  You know what she said isn't true.  Sweating isn't a sign of being fat, it just means you are well hydrated!

Answer 9

Family comments/insults hurt more than if it was from a stranger.

If a kid didn't sweat or at least get red faced at a party, I would say that he/she wasn't having fun.

You are right, we are not here to judge others and your sister was in the wrong.  There's lots of things that I would like to say to my sister about her children, but I don't!!

I'm sure that your daughter will have no problems as she eats healthfully and walks lots.

Keep it up :)

Answer 10

You will always be offended when people are judging you or your family---especially since it's your daughter. Your sister was probably genuinely concerned, but as a parent you see her every day and if she seems healthy to you then I am sure you're right. It's tough to take criticism but I'm sure sis was just concerned. All the best.