Dont know how to handle it

Question

Should I force my 4 year old daughter to like fiance when theres no reason for her not too?

Answer 1

No, you need to let her get to know him and like him on her own terms.  She's only 4 and this is a very big and scary change for her.  You may see acting out behaviors but once she feels safe and secure about what is happening she will begin to settle down and eventually I'm sure she will like him.  Just give it time.  

Answer 2

No!  

Answer 3

No you shouldn't force it.  Find out why she doesn't like the fiance.  You want to respect your daughter but you don't want her to control your life.  Maybe she needs to get to know this person better.  How does your fiance act around your daughter?  Is this person nice? Genuine? Take a close look at their relationship.  Good luck.

My friend's mom married a man that treated her and her sis very poorly.  Her mom never believed the girls.  I believe her b/c she still hates this guy as an adult.  It was like he verbally abused the girls when their mom wasn't around and the mom never listened to the girls.  I'm just saying be careful.  There may be a reason that your daughter doesn't like your fiance.

Answer 4

You cannot force anyone to like anyone else.

Encourage it, but no matter what she has to treat him with respect. You really should try to get to the bottom of why she doesnt like the fiance tho.

Answer 5

Force? When was the last time anyone liked anything by force?

She's four and likes to probably be a little princess and wants to be picky. It takes time to trust a new person and sometimes kids have different set of instincts.

Just let it all flow naturally. Hang out as a family and have him participate in activities she really enjoys. For example, instead of reading her a bedtime story, have your fiance read in the living room first and then tuck her into bed yourself and finish the rest of the story, etc.

Please please make sure that she can emotionally handle such a change. Force won't work, she'll actually turn for the worse.

All the best.

Answer 6

You can't force anyone to like anybody......can you be forced to like some one? Just because she's a child, does that mean she can be told....'You hafta like this person...or else Time Out in the corner'...how silly.

let her come around in her own way in her own time....she will. Push at her and she will become very stubborn and upset...she's only 4 for Pete's sake, these things take time and cannot be rushed...or arranged.

Answer 7

You can't force her to like anyone. what needs to take place is you and your fiance' sit and talk to her to find out her feelings.

Answer 8

No, there's no forcing a child to like someone.  Have you tried doing special things that she likes, together?    It's possible that's she's feeling that your fiance is either taking her place or her Dad's.  Could her Dad be telling her bad things?    

Answer 9

No.

She is just a child.  In time, perhaps she will grow to love him.  Unless there is a serious reason for her not to like him (he abuses her in some way) forcing her will only make the situation worse.

She probably doesn't understand what is going on, only that there is someone else fighting for her mother's attention.

Proceed with any plans you may have, and let her come to him in her own time.  As she gets older perhaps she'll understand the situation better.

Answer 10

No you should not force her. I had the same prob with my 5 year old but he eventually won her over. She was just caught between liking my fiance and her loyalty to her dad. But we never forced her an now she loves him. If there is no reason for her not to like him then just let things progress naturally, in my case my fiancee was wonderful and he never got hurt feeling when she would ignore him(but I would never let her be disrespectful or rude to him either)  but he never gave up on her and now they have a great relationship.

Answer 11

Obviously she doesn't have the warm and fuzzies for him.  He's the adult, he needs to work on the relationship with her.