Dont know how to help my sister... please help?

Question

My sister is currently unhappy with the way shes living, she didnt actually tell me but its obvious, and doesnt know how to help herself. Shes almost 20 years old, still living at home with parents, no job, goes out with friends most of the time, and just starting first year of college. Shes been trying real hard to get a job but unsuccessful, maybe cuz low education and no skill. Shes always had a rough time in school. Not exactly sure whats stopping her, maybe low selfesteem, i dont know. I feel like shes really lost in life, not knowing what she wants to do. I think she goes out so much with friends is cus its the only way to get her mind off of the stress and worriness. She even told me she doesnt know why shes going to college, cuz she doesnt have clear goal, shes lost in life (in my opinion).

Should i get her a counselour or something to get her life going? Any advice of what we should do to help her would be great. THANK YOU

Answer 1

You can't help her unless she wants to be helped. I know it's sad but it's true. All you can really do is try talking to her and let her know that you're there for her if she needs to talk about anything.

She is still pretty young though, so it shouldn't be a huge worry that she doesn't know what she wants to do.

Answer 2

It's hard to know what's really wrong, as it sounds like your sister is in a transitory time of her life - just starting college, hasn't got a job.  The job part sounds like she doesn't know what to do, so some specific discussion about what she CAN do might help, then she just has to keep trying to get something. She might need help with applying as well;ie writing a resume, interview protocol, etc.

What is wrong with going out with friends? If she's had a rough time in school, this sounds like a positive step.  And how does she afford it if she hasn't a job?  Is someone financing her so she doesn't really need to work?

What is she worried about?  This is not clear.  

Other than helping her enter the workplace, or getting careers advice re: college, I think your sister needs to get started and her "worries" may evaporate if she enjoys college.

Answer 3

Ur right about the reason why she goes out with her friends. U have to talk to her. Your family! Ask her what is her goal, let her know college isn't for everyone, tell her that she can do anything, motivate her. If MOM and DAD don't anymore U should. Let her know that she can lean on you see if anything is wrong. DO YOU GET THE GIST OF WAT I'M SAYING! Maybe she needs someone to talk to or to listen. Personally i don't think she would want a counselor to be that person. Maybe U would be  a better choice.