Dont like to adopt or have any child,do you think i am selfish?

Question

i am 44 husban 57,married 4 years without child.

I just dont have this kind of heart for raising kid,but i would like to serve the church all my life doing sacred work in music. He is mad at me all the time,but i cannot forcemyself. will you all blame me like he?

Answer 1

Not neccesary.You can have peace in church.

Answer 2

Some people just aren't made to have kids. It doesn't make you a bad person. Maybe God made you that way so that you could spend your time serving in your church.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with being childless, Many people are quite happy that way. It would be selfish to adopt a child you don't want so you are doing the right thing

Answer 4

ok 1st off if ur 44 u should not have ur own biological children... the chances of them being born with downs syndrome increases after the age 40... and if ur heart is not in it to raise a healthy child... a special needs child is even harder... so no i dont think ur slefish for not wanting children... about adopting... its expensive and time consuming... plus again age is a factor... do what makes u happy and if thats with the church... then so be it!

Answer 5

I don't think you are selfish at all, other people should respect your decision. I also don't want to have children and I'm 33 married seven years.

Answer 6

No I mean if you really in your heart wanted to be a mother you would have already become one. It's somthing you really want to do not because somone makes you. If serving the church is what you like to do go for it and it sounds like your doing a good thing in that. Also not to be rude but 44 is alittle late in life to start having children I mean not impossible but it will be alot harder physically on your body, also by the time the child was 2 assuming you didn't have any fertility problems your husband would be 60 and that is just sad for the child..

Answer 7

No,but did your partner knew you felt like this before you got married?If so,you have every right to not have kids.

Answer 8

I take it your husband really wants to adopt? If so, then HE is the selfish one.

If you do not want to be a mother, then of course you should not adopt. And especially not to bring a child into a family where the father is 57 and mad at the mom all the time.

All children should be wholeheartedly wanted by both their parents and lots of loving friends and relative besides. This is even more important for adopted children, because they come into the family after the loss of their first family.

I'm sorry for your husband that he has never had the chance to be a dad, that is sad for him if it was something he really wanted, but it was a little late for him to think about it in his 50s. If he is arguing that it would be somehow selfless to "rescue" a child through adoption, then he is just plain wrong. It would be very selfish to do that in this situation and would not give the child a better life.

You should serve the way you are called to serve, and it sounds as if music is your calling. Wonderful!

Answer 9

Let your deeds be your children.

Many cannot have children.  On the flipside, overpopulation is becoming a global crisis.  A child is not a reflection of your worth, it is not your obligation, either.  There are many ways to nurture many souls, sometimes they'll appear in unexpected ways.  Then there are always health concerns--both your's and a potential child's.  

This sounds like it may be a cultural connundrum.  As is true with any family in the truest sense, surround yourself with people who love and care about you.  If you fear for yourself, seek solace among these people if you can.

One life's worth is more than just it's biological capacity to bring another being into existance.

Peace

Answer 10

naw, If parenting is not for you then it's not for you. A child should never be forced or intentionally created to appease 1 person in a relationship.