So my ex and i dated for 4 months... i kno it doesn't seem like much but its sadly my longest.... I'm not one to date a lot.. so when i date a guy, I'm pretty serious about them. I'm a christian, so i believe that dating should be about finding the right person and when I found Scott, I thought he was it. He was a freshman and i was a junior. I was his first kiss and supposedly his first love and I have never had feelings as strong as the ones i do for him.. We used to hang out and talk as much as possible which wasn't very much because his parents are strict. He was a GREAT guy. he was so sweet and kind and AMAZING! he plays the drums and bass in his churches worship band and his dad is a pastor. His mom is SO nice and his sister is a really close friend of mine. everything was going perfect until summer came. He went to church camp and I went to Drum major camp and he got onto me for talking to guys as friends even tho he said he flirted with tons of girls. He would hang out with me with other ppl and act like i didn't exist, and then hang out with me alone and act like I was the only person he wanted in his life. He would make me so upset sometimes because of the way that his mood would change. Will he love me today or act like I'm invisible? So I went with my mom on a girl trip to san fran to clear my mind a bit... but then he called and dumped me while I was there.. it was terrible. So when I got back to school I see him every day in band and he treats me like scum but when i think back at all of the fun we had, I can;t help it but still be in love with him..... it's horrible.... I'm so depressed these days.. im even on medication for it but it doesn't help.. i don't know what to do..... i hate him becuase he's such a jerk but I love him and idk if Ill ever be able to get rid of these feelings..... Its been a few months since we broke up but the pain seems worse than before.... what should I do?? am i doomed to love a ...well... donkey..?
sorry it's so long... but bare with me i really could use some advice... please and thank you :)
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