Down Syndrome Child?

Question

Hi, I know this is a sensitive subject, but please read the full explanation before you answer. Thanks. :)

My youngest brother, Will, has Down Syndrome. He is eleven years old, and over the last few months, he has developed a serious problem with temper tantrums - often violent.

My mom still has five children at home (Will is the youngest), and Will's behavior has made it impossible for their family to go to any of the other children's - and grandchildren's - events (like getting new karate belts, trophies, ect). Will pitches a huge fit when things are not done exactly the way he wants it done. But he has always had his own way - his entire life - because of his handicap.

The doctors have told my mom that Will is mentally at the level of a three-year-old. Is he starting to develop the temper tantrums of a three-year-old? Or is this something else?

Part of me says that Will deserves to get anything he wants, he has a hard enough time in life. Another part of me wants

Answer 1

Even a child with Down's needs to be held accountable for their actions, at least to some degree.  I'm sure it's tough on your mom and she feels like she owes it to him, but what she owes him is the chance to learn to function to the best of his ability.  You say he is home-schooled...has he ever been in any kind of therapy or classroom to help him learn to behave in a more acceptable manner?  There are plenty of resources available to help your brother achieve the most he can.  Your mom needs to look into them...not only for her sake, but for the sake of the entire family.  Best of luck.

Edit: by the way, I think homeschooling is a great option for a lot of families, but it is not always the best choice and the individual, the entire family and the circumstances surrounding the situation need to be looked at.  This may not be what is best for your brother, even if your other siblings are successfully being homeschooled.

Answer 2

I think a behavior therapist would help a lot, and you may be able to find one at little cost to you. Call your local DSA and ask for advice on how to go about finding one, or see if there are any they may know and recommend. Also, if he was in a special education program they may be able to help with his behaviors too, they are specially trained and also have behavior therapists that can be provided by the district and should be able to help. He can not be denied a public education, its against the law. If home schooling is a personal choice, that is fine but he also needs more than abc's and 123's he needs social skills training, and to learn new ways of dealing with whatever is causing the outbursts. Again, there are people trained to help and who can really improve his quality of life and make things easier on the family as well. Please look into some of these avenues.

Answer 3

I've worked with people who have down syndrome for over 9 years, most of them with severe maladaptive behaviors.  The key is to look at what he needs and balance that out with what the rest of the family needs.  It's not that he is "not getting his way" but that he needs a predictable schedule to help him feel more in control of himself.  Your mom needs to sit down and make up a schedule of what is going to happen throughout the day and then discuss it with Will so he knows or at least has been informed of what is going to happen.  This will help him feel better about the things that are happening during his day, however it will not happen overnight, he needs time to figure it out on his own, and consistency on the part of your mom and the rest of the family will help with that.  

One thing we often implemented with our clients was a reward system for good behavior.  I know it sounds like bribing, but when done correctly and with consistency it is actually a very valuable tool that will help him overcome his resistance to change.  Even the smallest change in a schedule can be the piece of straw that upsets the cart so to speak.  The way we implemented this was to start small, a small token for EVERY good behavior, after the behavior started improving we would discuss a change with the client and come up with a new rewards schedule, such as going for an hour with no bad behaviors warrants a reward, then on to every two hours, he will eventually learn to control his behaviors for longer and longer periods of time.  It won't work if consistency is not there, and it won't work if the rewards are not given at regular intervals.  You cannot ask him to wait for his reward while you finish up dinner for instance.  Keep them small and keep them handy.

He needs to learn that unacceptable behavior will not be tolerated, giving into his every whim because of his downs is just doing a disservice to him honestly.  He is a part of society and needs to learn how to adapt to that society in a healthy manner.  It is the job of his family to help him learn that.

it is a lot of work, but so worth it in the end.

Answer 4

Well this is a hard subject to give you a straight answer on, because the different things you can do vary from child and from handicap. I would personally find a way to keep him preoccupied for a while something that can stimulate his brain for long periods of time, I know this will be hard because his mental age is that of a 3 year old, but patience is essential. The temper tantrums are absolutly normal an dthey also vary from child to child. You could try to explain to him somehow that it is not good, but never hit back or yell at him, even though you may at times, it will only confuse him and make things worse. She should tell him no and see if he understands, like if he grabs something that he is not supposed to tell her to tell him no and if he hits her or starts to tantrum bring him to the corner (yes i know it sounds harsh, but you do not want to keep treating him as a child, even though his mental capacity is that) studies have found that if your treat these children like that they may grow mentally, because of the constant stimulus and right an dwrong concepts could be grasps (though they will not be grasped to the fullest, it will lay the basics down). But it all depends I would recommend asking his doctor about seeing a consulor or someone who could show you step by step on how to address his temper. Patience is key.