Dream about the death of my daughter?

Question

My mind has never allowed me to go so far as to dream about something terrible to happen to one of my children, but this time ... well, it went there.

I dreamed that my 16-month old wandered off and was abducted by one of the volleyball players that I coached last year. Well, we searched and searched for this girl who took my child, and when we found her she said, "Oh, the baby is resting peacefully." Then she took me to my daughter and my baby was lying there lifeless. I was hysterical until I remembered to tell myself that I was only dreaming. That's when I woke up. I haven't been able to shake that horrible feeling.

Any ideas? Thanks!

Answer 1

Such dreams are more common that people like to think and typically have more to do with reflecting the care one feels for another than they do about real fear of harm.

They are terribly uncomfortable even when realized only to be a dream.  The subject and imagery are so viscerally personal that we feel wounded for even having dreamt such a terrible thing - as you indicate by your opening of your mind having 'never allowed me to go' there.  That phrase says a great deal about your own mind and heart in the matter: the thing dreamt is unthinkable - there is no question how much you love this child or of what you would do to protect her.

So why do such torturous dreams happen, and is there a 'meaning' or 'message' perhaps?  Unless you awaken to a fairly specific awareness of a threat that you hadn't consciously thought of before, they are the product of random information and thoughts.  They can be induced by a minor bout of guilt over some detail - 'did I really show my love for her in what I've done' - that sort of thing.  When we feel we have somehow shorted a loved one - especially one so small - even inadvertently or in a small way, we can 'short circuit' a nagging little doubt right into a dream that summons a horde of beasts or barbarians who would sweep them away from us.  She's tiny and helpless without you - it's easy to gain enough subconscious steam for this kind of dream for any reason from disappointing her in some small way to just feeling that 'next time I would make a better choice' about someone who may have kept her, etc. - even if for non-endangering reasons.

Amazing - but that's the human mind - and at times it seems to impishly pick at the heart until the whole thing vents in a dream - and the triggering 'event' may not even be recalled.

If the ill feeling you are left with doesn't evaporate quickly enough then pause wakingly and reflect on the 'threats' that were evident in the dream.  Are they real?  Whom did they involve?  What of this volley ball character - just kind of odd in some way, innocent but 'different' - or truly someone you'd not care to leave your child with for some reliably discerned reason?  

Real revelations of safety threats do not typically come from these dreams - they are generally powerful enough to generate waking concerns and action.  However, you may find some useful reflection in such a dream about a few details, habits or situations that your daughter is subject to.  It is possible that some barely noticed thing now begs you to recognize a particular detail in your family life and deal with it - if only to help you feel more secure.

Take comfort too that all of your dreamt reactions were perfectly normal - that's a reflection of your true love and alert feelings for this child.  Of course the horror of the vision needs to leave - there's no need in your holding that - it is not reality nor is such a thing even a remotely likely threat: your deep care is quite evident and that is obviously a beloved and protected child.  

Try to let the bad vision go as the rational waking thoughts take over the surreal dream - the horror of it is a quirk of the human mind.  You are obviously one good mom - you need to know that and let yourself believe it.  Be smart, don't fear - give her your all.

All the best to you.

Answer 2

It is just stress, when you are stressed we can dream about the most horrible fears we have. No worries, it was just a nightmare.

Answer 3

It means you're a good parent who loves their child.

Answer 4

It's always horrible to dream about a family member dying.  Well first go talk to the girl who took your child that way she knows what you have dreamt then i would just watch a bunch of movies with happy endings.  The reason we have dreams with people and things we know is because they are stored in our brains so it's best to watch and experience happier things.  If this dose not work go and talk to your doctor.  

Answer 5

Fear.  Sometimes the things we fear most in life come to reality in dreamland...  

Answer 6

it just means you have a great fear of losing her. what parent wouldnt have a fear of losing their child.

Answer 7

It's most likely a fear that something will happen to your daughter, especially since she is more mobile now and could easily wander off.

Are you considering or are you coaching volleyball again this year? Is this an after-school thing, something that takes a lot of time away from your home and children? You could also be feeling like you'd be abandoning your child and that could trigger the thought of her being taken away or of you not being there if something horrible does happen. It could also signal a distrust you may have with the person or people who are caring for your children while you are gone.

You should take a look at the things around you and your around and reassure yourself that things are safe, that people are safe and trustworthy and if they are not, find others who are. If you can and need to, cut back on some of your own time away from home so you can be there more and feel better all around.

You can't really be productive in your job if you are constantly worrying about your children. Do what feels best to you and what is safest for your family.