Drivers ed issue? please help me get through it?

Question

on Thursday at drivers ed I was freaking out

b/c earlier that day on my drivetime (we can have drive times with any of the 3 instructors...2 guys and a girl. the lady is the teacher of my classroom part of it.

and I've always had a fear of men

but we were told we cant pick our instructor. so I had to deal...so thursday morning I went with one of the male instructors...and he touched my hand... A LOT... and he wanted to go to my house to see my dogs. so we went (I didnt let him in the house) when he asked if they were nice I said no. theyre really mean

then he took us to HIS house to see HIS dog.

and I was really uncomfortable through the whole 2 hours.

so I talked to my friend about it and she said to talk to my teacher. (the girl one) and ask her if I could please only drive with her

and I hate doing that. speaking up for myself and I really didnt want to have to explain why I fear men.

so I was freaking out when I got to drivers ed that night (we go 6-8 pm monday-thursday...and my drivetime earlier was 12-2)

so when I went I was talking to my friend on my phone through IM and she was helping me chill out. but I was still sick to my stomach and shaky and about to pass out. and I knew I would do something stupid like yell at the teacher if she asked me to get off of the phone.

so I went to the bathroom and tried to stay 'there' (for those who have anxiety issues you know what I'm talking about) and I guess I was kinda blacked out for a while. and I guess it was about 20 minutes in to the class and she started looking for me and she found me in the bathroom shaking really hard. and I explained to her that I was extremely anxious and I couldnt stand. so she had me sit on the counter and when she asked me what was wrong I told her that I had to ask her a question...and I think I said something along the lines of

'well I want to ask you something...you said that we cant pick our teacher but I cant drive with the men. men scare me and I'm really uncomfortable around them and I'm rly nervous'

and then she said it was okay and that I could schedule with only her and another girl in a previous class had the same issues. then she asked if I wanted my Mom to pick me up...but I didnt want my mom knowing that I have anxiety issues again) so she let me calm down in the hallway and take my test out there (we have tests every thursday) so I did that and when I was calmer I went back in to class. and by the end of the class I was participating more. and I was calmed down and all and could smile when something was funny.

and now I am SO embarassed! I'm worried that she thinks I'm weird and crazy. or if she thinks I did it on purpose (cuz thats my biggest fear...cuz I've seen ppl not take other ppl seriously before) and so I'm really embarassed to go back. and I'm nervous that she will end up asking why...and that is really hard for me to say. I can type it or write it. but for some reason I can never say the words. and its really weird when ppl ask about that cuz I hate talking about it...

so what should I do? to not be embarassed or scared to go back? how can I handle this? am I blowing out of proportion? am I overreacting? am I underreacting?

please help me!

Answer 1

Talk with a doctor about a referral to a psychologist, after all one day you will need to go to work and there are a lot of males in the workplace.

Answer 2

Yeab but the guys at work won't be touching your HAND and going to YOUR house. Ugh people.