Drunken A hole style?

Question

What are some good techniques to use if YOU are drunk? I mean, if your sloshed you aren't going to be able to flee too gracefully, and you won't put anybody in awe with your fancy footwork.

I'm guessing simple stuff is the best. Punches, headbutts, knees ect..

Answer 1

If you positively and absolutely cannot walk away, then keep it simple.  As Zenlife pointed out you will have all the co-ordination and balance of a three legged dog with a middle ear infection on roller skates.  Or stay sober enough to avoid those situations.

Answer 2

walk away if you can !!!

As you can be the greatest fighter but when you are drunk all someone has to do is just give you a hard push and your down alcohol seriously affects balance,timing and makes some people feel they are invincible wrong ,wrong,wrong they are more vulnerable and most end up seriously injured :(***

Answer 3

Like I've said before...try and walk away.  Or stagger away, as the case may be.  If you're drunk and you don't have too much training you should keep it simple.  Kick in the nuts and poke in the eye.  Captain Insano shows no mercy.

Answer 4

Block with your face, attack with your vomit then drink less next time

Answer 5

Drunken A**hole style... you just said exactly what that would be. Don't get s***canned and try to fight that's just dumb. Not to mention if you're that drunk your senses are slowed and nothing but luck will be on your side.

Walk Away

Answer 6

The 'drunken monk' style of kung fu.

Answer 7

I generally find that vomiting all over yourself in front of them usually sends em scampering away to a safe distance, you can also wipe your vomit off your mouth with your forearm and try to hug them in an attempt to regain your balance, they usually do a little dance to keep out of your reach. A good bearhug would neutralize any attempts at striking you and once you're close enough for him to smell your breathe, he'll either faint from the stench or do everything he can to get as far away from you as he can ; )

If for some reason you do end up getting beaten or more likely kicked while down on the ground, curling up into a ball is probably the best that you can do to minimize injury. Besides, if you're that wasted to stay on your feet, chances are, you probably won't feel a d**n thing, at least until you wake up the next morning of course : P

Answer 8

When I was younger I had druken A hole style down to a science man.  Here's how it alwasy goes.....

#1. Pool stick fighting - use the fat end

#2. Budweiser longneck bottle attack - throw at opponent's face

#3. Steel toe work boot kick - to teeth of opponent

#4. Never throw punches because depth perception's non-exsistent especially after 8 or so beers downed quickly. ( depending on own body weight )

#5. Steel toe work boot kick to man berries

#6. Always vomit on floor in front of opponent - opponent will lose traction and slip and fall onto puddle - then down ward stomp with work boot.

#7. Always have bail money handy or wife or girl friend holds bail money.  This falls under the rules of Bond/bail when using "Drunken A hole style" also known as the bail technique.

#8. Block open handed ( soft blocking ) throw palm strikes in a up ward motion at the nose of opponent instead of punches way more effective after 8 or so beers ( depending on own weight )

#9. Shaken Beer technique - shake beer violently then aim at unsuspecting opponent.

#10. Opponent Rule Technique - Everyone you see in bar, including but not limited to, all fellow alcoholics, that annoying brass money nic nac on the bar, bar tender ( if you've been tipping good ), the pretend people that all drunks see and want to smash the faces of including own family that aren't really even in the bar with you, doors, windows, juke boxes, pinball machines and any other object that you decide to attack can all be consider as an opponent.

#11. Drunken A hole weapons - Pool stick, pool cue, all pool balls ( stripes and solids ), hand chaulk block, lose tables, lose chairs ( anything not bolted down ), long neck bottles ( not cans ), beer mugs and/or pitchers, own vomit can be used as projectile, glass ash trays, other people ( usually grabbed and used of shield against flying debris ), Bar window if you can get opponent backed up to it close enough to kick opponent through it ( giant plate glass window ), own steel toe work boots, lose debris glass on ground, broken pool stick, etc.

Key rules in all druken a hole techniuqes are as follows:

focus on both people that you're looking at because one always appears as two.

If there's a druken a hole eslewhere in bar attack him first ( All competition must die!! )

Call for ride in the morning from jail never walk in summer heat on a hang-over ( unless bonded out first ) I did this once and it was the longest walk I ever walked, both, mentally and spiritually.

Abort all technique and vacant bar arena when you feel heaving coming on, better to pray to the tidy bowl God at home than over a trash can in the corner of the bar. ( Although if you order another beer as you're vomiting and continue to drink you can drink your self sober and then get back to the arena action.

If gun shots ring out yell "LAST CALL!!!" really loud. This will improve odds of getting one more beer before police begin their homicide investigation and clear the bar.

That about covers the key aspects of "drunken a hole style" minus a few things I can never remember the morning after when I'm wondering how in the h**l I spent $200.00 that fast.

Good Luck!!